It's time to start digging up those Squirrelled Nuts!!!!

barnstar2077

Thank you for everyone's thoughts.  I really want it to work out with this lady, she is training to be a nurse for a start, so I know she must be a special kind of person (Also, I figure it will come in handy as I do seem to be a bit accident prone! :  )

zagfles

barnstar2077 said:

Thank you for everyone's thoughts.  I really want it to work out with this lady, she is training to be a nurse for a start, so I know she must be a special kind of person (Also, I figure it will come in handy as I do seem to be a bit accident prone! :  )

I'd just say don't push it when it comes to paying for stuff. For many people it's important to retain a sense of independance, and for someone else to insist on paying for stuff it can take that away and even seem controlling. You might think offering to pay for meals out is generous or "gentlemanly" but she might see it as controlling, as creating an obligation.

I'm not saying don't offer, but if she declines, leave it there, don't insist, don't ask "are you sure, I don't mind", just accept it. You might have to cut back on eating out, at least with her, but if you're serious about the relationship it'll be a price worth paying. You could always eat out with others, friends, relatives etc, and do cheap or free stuff with her, eg a picnic in the park.

Same when it comes to stuff like gifts, don't buy expensive gifts for her because that could create a sense of obligation that she should respond in kind with a similar value gift.

jimpwarsop

barnstar2077 said:

I just caught up on this thread.  I love eating out.  I especially love a good walk followed by lunch in a decent café.  I used to spend money on gadgets and junk that would be thrown away in a few years, so I see eating out as a better use of my funds as getting out and about and seeing friends and family is good for my mental health and general wellbeing. 

So eating out comes from my entertainment budget, like going to the cinema etc.  I would eat out every day if I could!

It can be an issue though, as my new lady friend doesn't have as much disposable income (earns more than me, but pays a high rent) so we do sometimes disagree about where to go.  I offer to pay, but she wants to pay her way, but that would mean we don't eat out as much, hence the possibility for disagreement.  If anyone has any ideas about how to resolve that I would be happy to hear any suggestions.  We have only just started dating though, so her moving in with me is not on the cards just yet.

Offer to take her out and ensure she knows you are willing to pay, if she refuses your offer............................ask someone else.

Who knows you might have three or four options.

plumb1_2

As she works for the nhs, take her out for tea and biscuits and a pint.

PennyForThem_2

zagfles said:

barnstar2077 said:

Thank you for everyone's thoughts.  I really want it to work out with this lady, she is training to be a nurse for a start, so I know she must be a special kind of person (Also, I figure it will come in handy as I do seem to be a bit accident prone! :  )

I'd just say don't push it when it comes to paying for stuff. For many people it's important to retain a sense of independance, and for someone else to insist on paying for stuff it can take that away and even seem controlling. You might think offering to pay for meals out is generous or "gentlemanly" but she might see it as controlling, as creating an obligation.

I'm not saying don't offer, but if she declines, leave it there, don't insist, don't ask "are you sure, I don't mind", just accept it. You might have to cut back on eating out, at least with her, but if you're serious about the relationship it'll be a price worth paying. You could always eat out with others, friends, relatives etc, and do cheap or free stuff with her, eg a picnic in the park.

Same when it comes to stuff like gifts, don't buy expensive gifts for her because that could create a sense of obligation that she should respond in kind with a similar value gift.

Yes - that is a sensitive approach.  

Sea_Shell

Prepping for winter entertainment 😉

Pile of Jigsaw puzzles - ✔️
Puzzle books and pens - ✔️
Draughts/Backgammon set - ✔️
Pile of books - ✔️
Scrabble - ✔️
Pack of cards - ✔️

bluenose1

Sea_Shell said:

Prepping for winter entertainment 😉

Pile of Jigsaw puzzles - ✔️
Puzzle books and pens - ✔️
Draughts/Backgammon set - ✔️
Pile of books - ✔️
Scrabble - ✔️
Pack of cards - ✔️

Some good ideas while I am sat with my heated throw in winter.
We regularly play cards, we all love Canasta. Nothing like a nice family fall out  to end the evening. 
Though would be happy if I never saw another jigsaw puzzle in my life.
We don’t play scrabble as my oh is far too good for me at it, he plays the app Words With Friends every night and has multiple games on the go.

The way things are going we may be doing some of these things by candle light….

Sea_Shell

I always lose at Scrabble too☹️

michaels

Sea_Shell said:

Prepping for winter entertainment 😉

Pile of Jigsaw puzzles - ✔️
Puzzle books and pens - ✔️
Draughts/Backgammon set - ✔️
Pile of books - ✔️
Scrabble - ✔️
Pack of cards - ✔️

I'm afraid you may want to stop and draughts given the price of energy....

Sea_Shell

michaels said:

Sea_Shell said:

Prepping for winter entertainment 😉

Pile of Jigsaw puzzles - ✔️
Puzzle books and pens - ✔️
Draughts/Backgammon set - ✔️
Pile of books - ✔️
Scrabble - ✔️
Pack of cards - ✔️

I'm afraid you may want to stop and draughts given the price of energy....

That job's already been ticked off DHs to-do list.   Replaced the back door rubber seals. 😉😇