Day in the Life of Bob - the toilet paper hunt

bobwilson

We went away for a few days recently. Before we left, we stocked up on everything. As many of you are presently aware, we're in the delightful position of having to have a couple of lodgers in order to keep ourselves afloat, at least until we are in a position to be able to move home. Life as an unintended landlord does have its ups & downs- mainly downs

I will skip the description or smell of what it's like to come home after a few days of unsupervised "lodgerie", and fast forward to the topic at hand. Here is what it's like to go to the toilet in my house:

We got home and I was desperate for a number two. I swiftly presented myself to the loo only to find myself in the predicament of there being no loo paper. Zilch. Zero. Nul. Nana.

This was quite a conundrum since we had re-stocked with plentiful toilet paper before leaving on our short trip. It turns out our lodgers had used up all 10 (TEN) loo rolls in each bathroom, and only at the point where the whole house ran out, did either lodger start to take action.

However, that action may not be as one might anticipate- no sir. Instead of replacing said lavatory rolls, each lodger proceeded to purchase their own private stash of toilet rolls. They developed a cunning system upon which they now keep a secret stash of lavatory paper in their own bedrooms. Instead of re-filling the bathroom loo roll holder or indeed the bathroom shelf which can house more, they now walk to the bathroom to investigate & find out if we've re-stocked the loo rolls. If the answer comes back as a nul, they walk back to their bedroom & bring one of their "emergency" loo rolls with them, then after doing their deed in the bathroom, proceed back to their bedroom clutching their own personal loo roll. That's right folks- they don't even leave it in the bathroom.

The same appears to now be the case with kitchen rolls as well.

The rubbish was over-flowing onto the floor, but you can forget about putting the rubbish out- the lodgers had not so much as replaced the bin liner!

Call me old fashioned but I cannot, repeat, cannot, understand this behaviour- it's not a bedsit, it's a home, and we are not state enemies- we are people living in the same home. :think:

After a little conversation with them both, it turns out that not only had they not conversed with each other even once since we've been away, but they behaved as if it's some kind of a revelation that they should have to empty their own rubbish or replace loo paper they use.. or even contribute toward any household tasks. I felt like saying if you want me to pay for them fine- but can't you at least replace them in the bathroom so that we don't return from a trip only to find we can't resolve the turtle-heads poking out of our !!!!!!?

We clearly took our last lodger for granted, who automatically did these things. :cool:

I then asked them "if you don't want to contribute household tasks with the rest of us, will you share the cost of hiring someone who will do it all for us?". It seems they don't want to do it themselves or to pay someone to do it either. They seem to want me to always be on hand to do it for them, for free. They also don't want a rent increase in order to accommodate such behaviour. :cool:

Past experience tells me even if we tell them to leave, we'll end up with more insane lodgers who do far worse. Why am I so ungrateful? I should count myself lucky the house is still standing. Love this life.

MovingForwards

Thought these were fabulous lodgers and you have a cleaner come in?

Kentish_Dave

What’s the back story here? What’s happened that this is now your lot?

tempus_fugit

I would just keep my own private stash of loo rolls as well, and keep none in the bathroom, that'll sort them.

suki1964

So the cleaner not only refuses to vacuum , she also refuses to empty bins?

Or does she no longer exist?

Or is it just another boring day in your life that you felt the need to make up a load of tosh and post it?

bobwilson

tempus_fugit wrote: »

I would just keep my own private stash of loo rolls as well, and keep none in the bathroom, that'll sort them.

Funny you should mention it, we thought about it, but prefer not to live like animals even if they do :rotfl:

At that point in time, when we cleaned everywhere & re-stocked the loo rolls, kitchen towels & hand soap everywhere, a lodger ran up to me and hugged me, and said "thank goodness you're home. It descended into chaos while you were gone! The house was was so dirty!"

I asked "why didn't you just clean it?"

Said lodger just looked at me with a vacant stare as if shocked by the suggestion :eek:

We're getting quite the education on lodgers from the point of view of the landlord, which is something we've never had before! :cool:

NCC-1701

Jackanory, Jackanory, Jackanory.

Mr_Singleton

Why do you have lodgers?

codger

Are all these contributions chapters in a book of humorous fiction the poster is currently attempting to write? If so, wouldn't Amazon Kindle be better than MSE's praise, vents & warnings section? I'm unlikely to want to buy a lodger this week or any other.

Missmarie

It is unclear to me why this and the other 2 threads remain here.

I feel this and them, is off topic chatter and should have been moved to the "moneysaving arms"

I have not read more than a sentence of either of the these posts as I am not interested at all.

What I will say is, it is threads like this, that makes me want to stop coming to the interactive area.

I can't understand why the author thinks we want to read this, let alone write a further 2. I would be mortified having wrote that.

Honeylife

bobwilson wrote: »

Funny you should mention it, we thought about it, but prefer not to live like animals even if they do :rotfl:

!!!!!! bob!

Buy your toilet roll (and kitchen paper) in packs of 144 delivered to your door Groupon, Amazon or Ebay - put 20 in each bathroom, (on a shelf, in a basket, in a cupboard) put the rest away and SHOW THE LODGERS where the bulk stash is when you go away. Don't say you don't have anywhere to put them - you can find space even if its behind the sofa, under the bed or in the loft!

Get a Cleaner and stop moaning. Unless you have a cleaning rota/chart why the hell are you expecting them to do these jobs? Am borrowing a phrase from my kids here - Just Suck It Up!

These "stories" are not funny they are moans and complaints about the people that are paying your mortgage and your bills. These silly issues can be dealt with quite simply without using horrid phrases like "living like animals" So not funny!

Anyone reading this will think all Residential Landlords are in this negative mind set about their lodgers.

Am really beginning to think this is all made up clap trap.