think my husbands cheating.can you advise or help me please?

serah1

Thanks everyone for your advice.

I would like to be able to sit down and talk to him but he doesnt listen - he always shouts and wants to only get his point across. Plus he always dismisses things when i tell him how i feel about something - like how i felt let down that he doesnt make an effort with the baby he was like 'yeah right - those r your own insecuritys'..

Thats why if i was to confront him with the fact that i think he's seeing someone i'd need good evidence cos otherwise i know he'll say things like i'm crazy and nosy and had no right to go threw his fone.

My sister and i talked about this yesterday and we think its only matter of time before something'll happen and it'll come to light but i just am fed up.

How much did the privet investigator cost ?

pinkshoes

serah1 wrote: »

Thats why if i was to confront him with the fact that i think he's seeing someone i'd need good evidence cos otherwise i know he'll say things like i'm crazy and nosy and had no right to go threw his fone.

My sister and i talked about this yesterday and we think its only matter of time before something'll happen and it'll come to light but i just am fed up.

I'd go along with whoever suggested changing the phone number for "Tree" and replacing it with yours! You can get free sim cards from Orange (I see them advertised online alot), so you can get a new number that he won't recognise, then program this into his phone instead of Tree's number, so you'll be able to read whatever texts he sends!!

Maybe also rub chilli in his pants, and claim he has an STI, then see if he confesses (or sends any messages to TREE accusing her of giving him something!!)

candygirl

pinkshoes wrote: »

I'd go along with whoever suggested changing the phone number for "Tree" and replacing it with yours! You can get free sim cards from Orange (I see them advertised online alot), so you can get a new number that he won't recognise, then program this into his phone instead of Tree's number, so you'll be able to read whatever texts he sends!!

Maybe also rub chilli in his pants, and claim he has an STI, then see if he confesses (or sends any messages to TREE accusing her of giving him something!!)

Oooh PS they sound like fantastically devious ideas;) .I'll make a note of them for future reference:D

sticher

Some good advice has been given above.

What I would say is that if you really want him to leave anyway (not getting on and tenancy in your name, etc) and you're not really bothered that he's having an affair (or not), then why worry about proof?

Just tell him you want him to go. Give him a week or so to fiind somewhere else to live (if you're feeling generous) and then pack up his stuff and lock him out. If he causes problems, call the police. They will come if he is causing a disturbance.

I was/am in a similar position to you in that my Ex just won't leave! As his name is on the mortgage, etc I just can't throw him out. You can though as he has no legal right to stay.

Good luck - I know it is hard.

timberflake

pinkshoes wrote: »

I'd go along with whoever suggested changing the phone number for "Tree" and replacing it with yours! You can get free sim cards from Orange (I see them advertised online alot), so you can get a new number that he won't recognise, then program this into his phone instead of Tree's number, so you'll be able to read whatever texts he sends!!

Maybe also rub chilli in his pants, and claim he has an STI, then see if he confesses (or sends any messages to TREE accusing her of giving him something!!)

Great advice, maybe next she could report his car as stolen so that next time he's in it he gets pulled over........grow up. You don't have propable cause to suspect him of anything, only your gut. How would you feel if you did all this and he was innocent? I'm not saying he is, he may well be seeing someone else, but the right way to go about it is either confront him, tell him to leave or wait for him to slip up.

geekgirl

I haven't read all the other posts in detail so someone may have already said this. If you are still having a sexual relationship with him make sure you protect yourself. The last thing you need is a STD from elsewhere. Hope it works out for you.

sassyesque

Hi this is the first time I have ever posted so apologies if it all goes wrong. I was just moved by what you were saying and wanted to help in anyway I can.

You said that you're confidence is low. Have you got a community centre near you? Many of them run free courses for people working under 16 hours per week (you didn't say if you're working or not) and can help with childcare or perhaps run a creche onsite. There are a whole variety of courses and sometimes just getting out of the house and meeting new people and seeing what you can achieve can be such a huge boost. Plus us community education workers can be a good ear or help with support.

You're partner sounds like a right git and yes you'd be better off without him but you already know that. If you can do things to make yourself feel better and special like you deserve, you will grow stronger inside making it easier to prepare for the future. Many control freaks like your "git" dont want a strong woman so you might find he may be the one to move...which is what you want.

The process is slow but you will get there. I have been cheated on before, serously attacked by a stranger, my mum committed suicide 3 years ago, Ive had meningitus, a cancer scare, been in a fatal coach crash on holiday and had 3 car accidents (and Im only 27). But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and Ive just focused all my energy on trying to help others. It works for me and there will be something which works for you. It will get better and easier I promise.

Good luck and Ill be thinking of you (sorry this turned into War and Peace, but hey my first post!:eek:)

Stephb1986_2

ooo i definatly like the idea of the chilies lol!!!

I would seriously leave him if your scared of him do it not just for you but your baby as well my mum was in a abusive relationship for 10 years with my dad i seen everything and its still in my mind everyday so i would recommend you do it now before your child really knows whats going on. can you not stay at your sisters for a while till you get back on your feet? maybe go to your local council and ask for a flat make a new start they cant just leave you like it. Atleast if he's seeing another woman its one less chore for you to do ;-) i know it hurts but atleast you know the truth and can prepare to leave him before he turns really nasty. Please please please get out now before its too late

lots of love take care

Stephb xx

antronella

Just been reading this thread and wondered how you are Serah. Hope you're ok x