The Four D's

FootyFanDan

alt80 said:

Thanks mate. Can’t spend, on the chang all the more. I’m a !!!!!! idiot don’t deserve to have a family know that much.

Know I’m the last person to be advising anyone on savings mate and feel free to tell me to !!!!!! as you’re well aware of my financial choices lol. However I’ll be a hypocrite can’t be any worse than admitting to being a cokehead lol. I think you can break this down - you’ve already started the first step by reducing your outgoings - what sort of surplus do you have at the end of the month discounting the debt payments (as this will be gone). Have a look for other savings - post an SOA up on here, people are generally helpful. You’ll get the judgy ones who live on rice and beans and live like saints but lots of sensible suggestions too. I don’t know what you earn net - gross waste of !!!!!! time to actually work anything out. Nothing truer than T/O is vanity, profit is sanity 100 true re gross/ net income too imo as that’s what you’ve got to deal with - for purpose of this it doesn’t matter if you’ve got some great pension waiting for you or whatever that’s a good idea to sacrifice your monthly income, you’re interested in the monthly day-to-day here. I’d work out your net income and what it is on a monthly/ yearly basis. Likewise expenses - I’m saying set the yearly up as some expenses fit less neatly into a monthly figure imo. You may have got all this sorted from the debt payments so already know what’s left/ isn’t.
 
You’re not going to need a lot coming in to get a sub£100k mortgage so affordability shouldn’t be an issue. However, once you’ve made all your savings, you can start to think about increasing your income. Obvious one here is the wife - you said on mine she was wanting to return to work - what’s her profession? Is it something she can do from home/ part time for a while whilst you get used to things.

Worth breaking it down iirc your goal to get on the ladder is 2 years. £15k/ 2 = £7.5k/y = £625/m. 100% achievable from a part time role for the wife mate easily. You’re living within your means and paying debts off now so you’re going to have some surplus when the debts gone - up to you if you choose to spend the surplus on lifestyle or cut the time scale of the property purchase down.

Sorry if any of that is patronising, really not meant like that just sometimes I know it’s hard to see the wood for the trees iyswim. 

I aint' one to judge that isn't my style, I sometimes think it is easier to try get other people's points of view on a situation. I will always look to try and get advice and try see different options and opinions both in personal life and work life I don't ever believe in being to far up my own !!!!!! to think I know best haha, but I also have confidence that when I feel strongly about something I will put forward that. Re your situation I have been through similar trying to deal with someone who is addicted (my dad is a alcoholic) and I know from your diary you don't wanna be labelled that so I certainly won't go that far but I think from my experience you have to want to change. I think accepting you have a problem is the first step on what is a long journey and I have learnt that no one can force you - my dad has now been in hospital 4 times all near death but still won't stop drinking and no matter how much it affects me and my sister it just doesn't change. Its tough for me coz growing up whilst we didn't have a lot I adored my dad he was my hero - when Mum walked out he looked after me and brother and he was so driven and strong. But now he is weak, no drive for life often feels suicidal and whilst I wanna believe one day he will fix it I don't hold out much hope..I harped on abit there not intented to come across as a P*** just he has lost everything family, income, a job, social life all through addiction - I know its tough for you coz you don't like the idea you need help but please go get help and don't lose your family mate

Wow! Anyways haha - my income due to promotion is due to go up officially by 5k which takes me to 25k a year which whilst I appreciate isn't among a lot of top earners but for that is huge I am used to 16k, 18k then 20k - now I think the difference after tax and stuff won't equate to 5k a year extra but every bit helps. We have lost a bit of reign over the food bill and while its not extravagant that is an area we need to shape up in - I also pay a stupid ridiculous amount for tv subscription and whilst I certainly get the benefits of it - its still a lot. Although it is a luxury and in my early debt days I trimmed it right down its not like this is breaking my budget like it would have been a year ago. I have always been a bit reluctant with the SOA but I think I feel confident now that I might post one up and get thoughts.

My partner is a fully qualified medical receptionist, she has also worked in customer service - she has a business qualification but not anything major I believe this was done through like an apprenticeship thing. Its weird she does moderating for a few major online companies social media so this is a skill she is developing and whilst she doesn't officially get a wage they might give her like a gift card or two through the year as a thank you and that certainly helps with stuff like xmas and stuff. Although once COVID is gone and she isn't home-schooling (although I am classed as key worker and kid could be in school worst case scenario)  My partner had a fall a few years ago which totally f****** up her back and prevented work for a while so whilst she isn't working we do get a bit of support like family allowance/ESA/PIP so our income isn't as tough as it could be but I also know that she is desperate to work and we would be in a miles better position if she did. It was a joint decision at the time we both worked in Sheffield for a call centre and I left - she was due to go back after mat leave but after travel/what would have been needed in childcare cost plus the hours she was working, we would have been about £20 better off if she worked than claiming tax credits as it was at the time. And she has worked from 16 so hated not working but it just made financial sense at the time

Ideally I like to say I have no spare income coz of the budget I work to and everything is accounted for but that would be a lie haha and tbh I am still working out what my savings are going to be and I also still slip up every so often with it...I would like now to release the reins a little - not go crazy but maybe not watch every penny - we joke all the time about whether things are in the budget or not haha. After all our priority bills/fuel/food/personal spends and current savings for annuals of £150 we have just over £500 left which is quite a new feeling if I am being honest so I need to work out how to best sort it. I guess once lockdown is done some of that will be taken up by holiday savings and days out but still feels unusual.

FootyFanDan

Ah, End of week 3 in lockdown! This one seems to be hitting me way harder than the previous ones and I am now starting to get fed up of bloody COVID. There seems to be more and more of people closer to me being affected - family/work and friends. 

Work has been busy but okay, I am starting to pick up more of my new role now and boy is there some challenges to come haha! This could be interesting as its not really my nature to be very vocal I just get on with stuff but sounds like there stuff that should have being happening in that role that hasn't been previously - also although still doing my role it looks like I am going to be doing permanent days now until I go over fully to my new job. There has been quite a lot of office politics and the girl I normally rota with is challenging...probably best way to put it haha and its been decided its best for the office if she works on nights permanently. I am also getting used to going in to work to lots of unread emails and important meetings in my calendar haha

Not really much going off financially really, although the money I saved on the washer now has to go on replacing the oven hahah. Although when I told landlord it was broken and I had ordered a new one he said he would put £200 to replacing it. The oven is old anyways so i was going to replace when we decorated kitchen so although getting earlier than planned its cost me £84 once landlord part is counted in (he said to just take off rent). While I know its landlord responsibility I still thought it was nice for him to offer to do that even after he knew I had already replaced the oven and I guess if I was going to replace anyway I have saved money now.

Next few days I have off work are just chilled - sorting out some stuff in house and decluttering. Next week at work is 8-4 shifts as in meetings most of week so will be strange to not be doing 12 hour days. 

Hope everyone is staying as safe as possible 

alt80

Sorry to hear about your dad mate. Can’t have been easy bringing kids up alone either, he’s a better man than me mate I couldn’t do that. Hope he finds a way to sort himself out. I know I make a bit of a joke of it but yeah I want to sort myself out doing the counselling properly and going to go to the meeting, no reason to not give it a go. I’ve got too old for it to be funny anymore really and it’s a bit too much of a part of my life to call it a bit of fun anymore. Not even done it today or yesterday and 100 never been an everyday thing but also know it’s why I’m wide awake at this time, !!!!!! my sleep pattern altogether. Not worth it can tell you that much and up my own !!!!!! enough to tell you I do know best on that ha. 

OK so £25k/a gross putting through salary calc with standard employee pension contribution of 5% works out c£1,660/m / £19.9k/a. Assumed no student loan/ other factors. Just need your expenses now and the money your wife receives from the gov. Honestly if I can put an SOA up back when I had the ftype and £2.5k/m going out on car finance I don’t think people are going to be that shocked about your TV sub mate. Seriously it’ll make you think yourself even if you go through the exercise and don’t post or DM me, I’m happy to look over it but 100 probably not the best person to.

You don’t need to justify your income to me mate, everyone is on a different journey. 100 you’ve got things money will never buy, sounds cheesy as !!!!!! but true. The £500 - I assume that’s £500/m or are we talking £500/y? If £500/m you’re not too far from your £625/m target already as things are. However, if you want to have a bit more of a lifestyle once lockdown ends that figure obviously changes.

Has your wife seen a specialist/ proper physio re her back? Should have MRI scan etc. One of my staff did his back in fairly badly too prolapse disc - some fluid filled sac between vertebrae failed gets all sorts of ongoing issues. NHS were !!!!!! useless - need to pursue them 100%. Don’t forget employers must make reasonable adjustments for disability too - shouldn’t have any trouble with this if she’s looking at a job in a GP surgery. 

FootyFanDan

@alt80 I really hope he gets the help and if I am been honest I thought the first hospital issue had made him wake up. I have no issues with having a drink at all - there just is a limit and he doesn't know it. There is weekends I have know him go through crates of the stuff! The way I see the recreational drug thing is as a young kid I never tried anything crazy I had mates that did a bit of that and its just never been something I have been interested in, but I get it when your in the clubbing scene and stuff. I guess in your position as a dad its to try set a good example for the little one....no-one is perfect mate and I would struggle to believe anyone that says they are. we all have demons....some fix them others don't unfortunately. I know you sometime are bit down on yourself but I actually from the more sensible (not late posts hahaha) think your quite a likeable, reasonable fair kinda guy. You seem to enjoy what you have when other stuff isn't clouding judgement.

Yes, I do have what money can't buy but it took me nearly losing that to wake up, it hasn't always been an easy journey but whether I have had no money and on the dole briefly to now where earning a decent amount and actually progressing the one girl who stuck by me was partner so we kinda been through the tough stuff and still come out the other side. Its hard as young..ish parents and yes life sometimes might seem boring but we have a good bond so that is all i could ask for. 

£500 monthly - I mean at the minute I am paying into my workplace pension too. If I needed to I could always cut bits too but ultimately out of this £500 I don't need to account for much else so a lot will go into savings. I plan to use the 1st six months of this year to build up a decent emergency fund. While we are tenants we are pretty much not in need of a major one but enough to cover if something were to happen. I have aprox 1.2k ish debt left so that is due to be off at the current rate by May/June time I pay £250 a month so could in theory bring that DF date closer but feel more comfortable building up the EF.

Mate the amount of !!!!!! she has gone through trying to sort it is ridiculous it really is. She had a few MRI scans and they were meant to refer her to physio and never did. I plan to get her some personal physio if that would work, we believe it to be a prolapsed disc too...did your colleague manage to get it fixed?  This may sound daft but I would pay all the money in the world to fix it for her and not see her in the pain she is in at times. She used to be into running/gym/cycling before her accident and the knock it has had on her confidence is awful she hates how she is right now

alt80

Thanks mate, done a lot of things I’m not proud of tbh got my reasons for the self loathing but agree it doesn’t help anything the past is what it is.

You can get through having nothing tougher, you can get through anything mate 100%. 

Sounds really positive on the savings front, mate.

Really sorry to hear re your wife’s experience with the NHS. Tbh I’m not going to call them, they have stretched resourced from what I can tell and do an excellent job of saving people and in emergencies but I’ll be honest I wouldn’t stop having PMI. I’m fairly certain if you started a policy your wife’s back would be excluded as preexisting but worth checking - will work out cheaper for the insurance and cover everything else too. I think you should chase the NHS though if they haven’t referred her as they should. Notts NHS !!!!!! useless at anything that requires follow ups etc no idea if yours any better but 100 stay on top of them. 

FootyFanDan

alt80 said:

Thanks mate, done a lot of things I’m not proud of tbh got my reasons for the self loathing but agree it doesn’t help anything the past is what it is.

You can get through having nothing tougher, you can get through anything mate 100%. 

Sounds really positive on the savings front, mate.

Really sorry to hear re your wife’s experience with the NHS. Tbh I’m not going to call them, they have stretched resourced from what I can tell and do an excellent job of saving people and in emergencies but I’ll be honest I wouldn’t stop having PMI. I’m fairly certain if you started a policy your wife’s back would be excluded as preexisting but worth checking - will work out cheaper for the insurance and cover everything else too. I think you should chase the NHS though if they haven’t referred her as they should. Notts NHS !!!!!! useless at anything that requires follow ups etc no idea if yours any better but 100 stay on top of them. 

Thanks mate, not going to lie latest lockdown is testing - I just wish for some sort of normality, but feel awful for doing so. I know there are many in worst places than me I have people around me, I have a job and a nice place to live so should stop feeling meh but I dunno it just seems despite the vaccine we are many many months away from any release. I felt really positive that March time we would see some relax of the rules but the more the gov speak the more I fear its going to be at least summer.

The NHS have been brilliant with us in my experience in general but yeah they were crap with the back issues. They took fantastic care of my partner when she was in a bad way after giving birth and they have always been there for the little one when she was diagnosed with the eating allergies but yeah the back issues is something we will re-visit after lockdown I guess. 

The savings is a work in progress, the emergency fund is something that needs to be in place for sure. This last month or so has shown me that lol. Oven/Car/Washer. 

FootyFanDan

Happy Monday All,
Hope everyone had a cracking weekend, mine was relaxed and a no spends weekend so that is good. Feeling wide awake right now, was in bed for 21:30 last night to try get early night and wide awake since 2am - fantastic haha.  I am currently sat with a coffee doing prep for a work meeting oh how fun. In seriousness though this meeting should be good for me as its first real one in my new role, I am doing two days doing a bit of training as well so my first two shifts this week are likely to be 8 hours shifts rather than 12 hours so that is a win.

Payday on Wednesday (thank you Monzo early pay) the budget is holding up well right now and only real thing left to buy is food for next few days. We still have a freezer full at the minute due to the oven breaking (new one delivered tomorrow) so hopefully we will save a little on food over next month. Once I get to pay day what ever we have left will go into emergency fund as this is something I really want to focus on big time as I want to try be prepared anytime anything else breaks - whilst mainly landlord would cover oven - the washer/fridge freezer/dryer and other electricals are all ours. The one win on the oven is the one that is in was just a plug in one so its just a case of swapping current one with new one - so saved on any install fee.

Here is to another week in lockdown - I really hope we can find some normal soon I know many worse out there than me but think it is starting to take it toll on my partner and the little one. I was hopeful that with the vaccine we might see some normal by March but the more I hear/see the more I fear that probably isn't likely to be the case. Hope everyone has a good week. Stay safe 

mark55man

keep going Dan - everyone is a bit bluer in winter and that multiplies everything else. definitely a lazy weekend is good for the soul.  Kids are really quite resilient, they are not worrying about the pandemic they are worrying about what's happening in the house, and so the best thing you can do is keep on trucking, which is exactly what you are.  I hope you had some snow for a bit of time outside  

alt80

Lockdown is just getting weird now mate not sure any of us will even know what ‘normal’ is once we’re ‘let out’ again lol. 

Notts been useless with vaccine less than 50% over 80s had it here according to the news. Can even get it elsewhere - need to wait to be called up but increasing calls for ‘immunity passports’. Genuinely don’t see how they can do that if you can’t even pay for it. 

Sounds like your Mrs has been through it all with health. Glad NHS been better for you, perhaps better up your way idk. Tbf sister and family had very few issues (not NG), likewise in-laws who do live locally but not within the city. Either resources too stretched or we expect too much maybe idk but wouldn’t give my health cover up.

Your sleep pattern will be !!!!!! from all the night shifts mate, will be good for you in new role for routine.

I’ve always been fairly lucky with appliances/ cars tbh. Worst thing I had was previous Range Rover Sport but tbh I’d had it from new put over 100k on the clock and 10 years so not really going to complain about a few repairs. Appliances 100% buy the best you can possibly works out cheaper to buy cheap and buy twice tbh but no hassle and the things are just more pleasant to use imo. 

FootyFanDan

mark55man said:

keep going Dan - everyone is a bit bluer in winter and that multiplies everything else. definitely a lazy weekend is good for the soul.  Kids are really quite resilient, they are not worrying about the pandemic they are worrying about what's happening in the house, and so the best thing you can do is keep on trucking, which is exactly what you are.  I hope you had some snow for a bit of time outside  

Cheers Mark, In general I am doing good I just think a few days feeling not 100% I think the routine is going to be really goo for me once I settle in. At present no matter what time I go to bed I sleep for a max 5 hours and then awake which I think is a result of the sleep during my set of nights. 

To her credit the little one is handling this whole thing amazingly - the kid never ceases to amaze me.  We have had a few minor wobbles and I think she misses her friends but all in all we are healthy and that at the moment is the most important thing in my eyes. It is starting to come into the workplace quite a lot more now and I am having to be a bit more vigilant. 

We had a few snow days which the little one loved....me not so much haha! I love autumn more than winter personally, although we did manage a winter walk through woods which was nice. I hope you and the family are good and keeping safe.