New house and new shared fence

Davren009

Aylesbury_Duck wrote: »

I'm sorry to say that I’m starting to think that belligerence isn’t an attribute of just your neighbour. You seem intent on fuelling conflict where it's not needed just so you can convince yourself you've "won".

Stubbornness isn’t an attractive trait in a neighbour – for either of you. If you have the money and emotional capacity to drag things out over something so trivial as the appearance of a fence, good luck to you, but you’re being dragged into being as foolish as your neighbour is.

I agree with the consensus. Forget it and move on.

I totally agree with the stubbornness part and thats how I feel Im being which I dont like. I dont want so much convince myself that I've won rather than not have that feeling of someones got one over on me and took advantage me.

Feel aggrieved that someone has gone against my wishes albeit how ever trivial they are and then the attitude the following day demanding money from me its just a massive farce. The easiest thing is to just give her the money, do what i want and ultimately pay more than 50/50 for a fence.

Davren009

a.turner wrote: »

If you agreed to pay before the work was started and didn't clarify details and assumed which way it would be built, then yes you are.

I agreed to splitting the cost , the work was going to be carried out next week by someone she knew and trusted and I'd get to see a quote, i asked to not have the rails facing my side, i asked to be there on the day so there was no damage to the turf as I'd laid it all myself last week.

I come home yesterday and the fence was already up. The price was different, the fencer was someone else, i saw no quote, and the rails were put on my side, obviously i wasn't there and I was a little disappointed with the turf but the fencer apologized but was easy fixed in the end

rach_k

Sounds like a bit of an overreaction to me, from both of you. Personally I'd prefer both sides of my garden to match, whatever the neighbours have.

I would pay her half or just less than half as she got to choose the fence, on condition that she gives you some kind of receipt or written agreement stating that the fence is jointly owned and that both of you can use your side of the fence however you like, as long as it doesn't affect the other side. Then grow some plants up it and you won't see it for long anyway.

Davren009

rach_k wrote: »

Sounds like a bit of an overreaction to me, from both of you. Personally I'd prefer both sides of my garden to match, whatever the neighbours have.

I would pay her half or just less than half as she got to choose the fence, on condition that she gives you some kind of receipt or written agreement stating that the fence is jointly owned and that both of you can use your side of the fence however you like, as long as it doesn't affect the other side. Then grow some plants up it and you won't see it for long anyway.

I'll admit the more time goes on the more relaxed I am about it. Probably just a new home and I've a vision of I want things. I was like you I just wanted the same as everyone else but now our 2 gardens are different from the whole street

I'm still suggesting to her to go halves on the total cost on getting the fence done how we both like it. It's not like i'm not compromising I've just asked her to take into consideration everything that's happened and her attitude seems to be its not her problem and she just wants her money.

a.turner

Davren009 wrote: »

I'll admit the more time goes on the more relaxed I am about it. Probably just a new home and I've a vision of I want things. I was like you I just wanted the same as everyone else but now our 2 gardens are different from the whole street

I'm still suggesting to her to go halves on the total cost on getting the fence done how we both like it. It's not like i'm not compromising I've just asked her to take into consideration everything that's happened and her attitude seems to be its not her problem and she just wants her money.

So put up another fence on your side and you've got what you both want. No need to go halves problems sorted.

Davren009

DaftyDuck wrote: »

If both fences were up as they now are, when you first viewed the property, would it have changed your view on purchasing it? Would you actually have noticed?

You have two fences that match. That's a benefit, surely? The so-called "good side" of many fence styles isn't any better, and who really cares?

You are now taking umbrage, making it an "issue", rather than just moving on and getting on with what matters in life.

Move on, forget it.

If we moved into a new house and the fences were up both sides already up and we had not paid anything for any of the fences it wouldn't be how i wanted it to look but we've paid nothing so don't really have a say in any of it. The neighbors paid they can chose what way the want it when they've got no one to consult with and want a fence.

I honestly didn't think I would care but the garden just looks different to everyone else. Some may say its unique and that's a positive and some people prefer the rails. I didnt want anything fancy just the garden to look like the rest of the street.

When you say move on forget it are you saying that right thing to do is to just give her money and leave it at that? Or if this was you what you do?

Mojisola

Davren009 wrote: »

I didnt want anything fancy just the garden to look like the rest of the street.

I'm curious as to why this is so important.

How will you cope if someone else in the road changes their fencing to something completely different from everyone else?

pinkshoes

Just ignore her. The fence is not how you agreed so don't pay.

If she agrees to have a nice side on your side too you will be happy to pay half.

Davren009

Forgot to mention this as well if it makes any difference... before the fencer was paid my partner made a point a she wasnt happy with the job to both the fencer and the neighbour... but the neighbour still paid him the full amount of money.

Davren009

Mojisola wrote: »

I'm curious as to why this is so important.

How will you cope if someone else in the road changes their fencing to something completely different from everyone else?

Not really important. If someone changes and that's how they want to have their garden its their garden I wouldn't complain. Pretty sure everyone should have their garden the way they want their garden. I get some people don't care and others are really fussy each to their own.

I know by creating this thread and going on about it its sounds like I'm more bothered than i really am. I asked for a job to be carried in a certain way, by a certain contractor, for a certain price, on a certain day and asked to be present. All of these were ignored. Before the fencer was paid it was brought to both his and the neighbors attention we weren't happy with the job to which the neighbor replied he's done a good job and paid him the full money.

I just wanted somewhere to vent my frustration and have neutral perspective and I value all the replies. I'm not looking for trouble or wanting a war i just wanted fence put up how I wanted it. I've gave her the option of going halves and fixing the fence to both our liking but shes happy with her side and doesn't care about our thoughts or feelings. She didn't give us a chance to talk to fix things with the fencer and just paid him. I'm not being petty, rather than argue with the neighbor she's shown to me what she is really like and I can easy pass her on the street will always say hello and smile get on with my day.