New house and new shared fence

Mojisola

Davren009 wrote: »

The whole street is detached houses and the common pattern along all the houses is rails on the left "good side" on the right until you get to my garden where I have rails left and right sides.

So both sides of your garden match - doesn't that look better than having the fences looking different?

You seem to be making a major issue over something that really isn't that important.

Davren009

a.turner wrote: »

It's her fence to pull down but having 3 dogs you need a method to control them so maybe you need a fence more than she does.

In fairness she has a dog as well.... but is now saying shes had the dog out and the dog doesn't like the back garden so she doesn't need the fence and will happily take it down if we don't pay cause she doesn't need it and we do cause we have 3 dogs.

Its comical and I just don't think she see's my point of why I'm not happy. She's happy with the job that's been carried out and refuses to pay more because she's happy with her side. She told me to talk to the fencer and the fencer said he didn't know it was a joint job and said if we weren't happy we shouldn't pay her.

I'm not bothered about how much money it costs to have the fence in my garden the way i want it. I just don't like the feeling of being bullied, threatened and insulted. The general way the fences are in the street are panels to left smooth side to right which is the way I wanted it and expected it. If she wanted the smooth side on hers again no problems price the job and I'd go half.... but now she has that side and likes it she's refusing to pay anymore and leaving me having to pay her half and then what ever it costs to fix my side the way i want. I'd have roughly paid 60% of a shared fence so she can be the only person in the street to have 2 smooth sides. I can pretty much pay the same amount to have my own fence and I get its probably the stubborn approach but even if I give her half the money and just build on her fence the relationship with her is pretty much done after how she spoke to me. I'll not argue or fight or try get one over with her I can easily put my head down and ignore her.

a.turner

Davren009 wrote: »

In fairness she has a dog as well.... but is now saying shes had the dog out and the dog doesn't like the back garden so she doesn't need the fence and will happily take it down if we don't pay cause she doesn't need it and we do cause we have 3 dogs.

Its comical and I just don't think she see's my point of why I'm not happy. She's happy with the job that's been carried out and refuses to pay more because she's happy with her side. She told me to talk to the fencer and the fencer said he didn't know it was a joint job and said if we weren't happy we shouldn't pay her.

I'm not bothered about how much money it costs to have the fence in my garden the way i want it. I just don't like the feeling of being bullied, threatened and insulted. The general way the fences are in the street are panels to left smooth side to right which is the way I wanted it and expected it. If she wanted the smooth side on hers again no problems price the job and I'd go half.... but now she has that side and likes it she's refusing to pay anymore and leaving me having to pay her half and then what ever it costs to fix my side the way i want. I'd have roughly paid 60% of a shared fence so she can be the only person in the street to have 2 smooth sides. I can pretty much pay the same amount to have my own fence and I get its probably the stubborn approach but even if I give her half the money and just build on her fence the relationship with her is pretty much done after how she spoke to me. I'll not argue or fight or try get one over with her I can easily put my head down and ignore her.

I think the best course of action would b for you to fence all three sides of your back garden they way you want it. It'll save any further neighbour disputes.

You've not had the house long and already have your first, it maybe you or her who's at fault.

Aylesbury_Duck

Davren009 wrote: »

In fairness she has a dog as well.... but is now saying shes had the dog out and the dog doesn't like the back garden so she doesn't need the fence and will happily take it down if we don't pay cause she doesn't need it and we do cause we have 3 dogs.

As I said, call her bluff by not reacting. She's trying it on. "The dog doesn't like the back garden" :rotfl: If she's going to tear down a fence she's just spent £400 on to prove a point, that's her lookout. I don't believe for a minute she'll do so.

Enjoy your new home with a new fence you haven't had to pay a penny towards. Don't get embroiled in an emotionally draining and possibly financially expensive neighbourly dispute before you've even moved in. You don't want to have to declare it when the time comes to sell.

Davren009

Mojisola wrote: »

So both sides of your garden match - doesn't that look better than having the fences looking different?

You seem to be making a major issue over something that really isn't that important.

I feel like that sometimes its only a fence why lose sleep over a fence. But its with anything in life if you paid money for something and its not how you wanted it you'd at least ask the question why has it not been done how i wanted?

Different people have different preferences and I'm not arguing whats better whats worse. I wanted a job carrying out so my garden looked the way i wanted. That hasn't happened so I tried to address it with the neighbor and it got brushed away as if its not her fault, its not her problem and to speak to who ever has put in the fence in. That person who put the fence in apologized for the job, said he didn't know it was a joint job and even though he has his money he told me to not pay her half the money as she should have said. The housing developer said they wouldn't even ask her and just put the panels on and again said in principle she's carried that job off on her own back and if shes ignored what I said wasn't really the fair thing to do.

My issue is more the way I've been spoken to and treated than the actual fence. Feel threatened, insulted, disrespected and being bullied into something I'm not happy about. I wasn't aggressive or by any means had a go at her for doing it I knocked on the door and had a polite discussion just explained why I wasn't happy with the job and wanted to know how we could go about fixing it. She didn't listen and just said she was happy with it and wasn't doing anything. Stormed off and said if I didn't like it then don't pay anything it consider it a moving in present. Next day just so happened I was off work she knocked on the door demanding money anyways a whole circus occurred in the middle of the street. Telling the fencer we're shifty and to make sure he's paid upfront and that her husband said we were always looking to pull a fast one. Just felt really degrading and not something i wanted to go really go threw i just wanted my fence looking the way i wanted it haha

Aylesbury_Duck

Davren009 wrote: »

My issue is more the way I've been spoken to and treated than the actual fence.

All the more reason to leave it and focus on other things. It doesn't sound like she's the sort to apologise so don't waste your time expecting an apology. Buying a new fence or a share in the existing one isn't going to address the way you've been spoken to and treated.

I'm struggling to understand what it is you want. You can't go back in time.

DaftyDuck

If both fences were up as they now are, when you first viewed the property, would it have changed your view on purchasing it? Would you actually have noticed?

You have two fences that match. That's a benefit, surely? The so-called "good side" of many fence styles isn't any better, and who really cares?

You are now taking umbrage, making it an "issue", rather than just moving on and getting on with what matters in life.

Move on, forget it.

Davren009

Aylesbury_Duck wrote: »

All the more reason to leave it and focus on other things. It doesn't sound like she's the sort to apologise so don't waste your time expecting an apology. Buying a new fence or a share in the existing one isn't going to address the way you've been spoken to and treated.

I'm struggling to understand what it is you want. You can't go back in time.

Think I'm struggling as well :rotfl: I dont think one person in here though has said give her half the money and then me to pay more to fix it which is what I'm reluctant to do. My ideal world is to cease communication with her and I'll put a fence up the way i want it. Feel like I'm being a stubborn git but id rather have no interaction with her going forward but I don't know if I'm being unreasonable after asking to split the total cost of the fence and she wont to just put my own up?

Aylesbury_Duck

I'm sorry to say that I’m starting to think that belligerence isn’t an attribute of just your neighbour. You seem intent on fuelling conflict where it's not needed just so you can convince yourself you've "won".

Stubbornness isn’t an attractive trait in a neighbour – for either of you. If you have the money and emotional capacity to drag things out over something so trivial as the appearance of a fence, good luck to you, but you’re being dragged into being as foolish as your neighbour is.

I agree with the consensus. Forget it and move on.

a.turner

Davren009 wrote: »

Think I'm struggling as well :rotfl: I dont think one person in here though has said give her half the money and then me to pay more to fix it which is what I'm reluctant to do. My ideal world is to cease communication with her and I'll put a fence up the way i want it. Feel like I'm being a stubborn git but id rather have no interaction with her going forward but I don't know if I'm being unreasonable after asking to split the total cost of the fence and she wont to just put my own up?

If you agreed to pay before the work was started and didn't clarify details and assumed which way it would be built, then yes you are.