New house and new shared fence

Davren009

Ive suggested this twice and both times shes refused to do so. If she comes to me again then I'll suggest it again and see what happens. Im not really an argumentive person but Ive never had someone speak to me like that and Ive always been brought up respect my elders but have a strong feeling Im being bullied into paying something I didnt want and didnt give permission to. Ive explained why Im not happy and she didnt care and didnt want to talk about it. Shes banging on my door less 12 hours of me realising the fence had been put up demanding money. From a money point of view it doesnt bother me. Think she has it in her head im trying "pull a fast one" and not pay anything. I paid alot of money for a brand new house and having not really thought about all the pros and cons of the fence i just wanted it to look like the rest of the street. The money is not an objective its more just the principle of it all now. Can pay £300+ for a fence i have to share or pay £400 for fence thats all mine and doesnt require talking to her.

warby68

You're usually better amicably sharing fences (so you can paint and grow things on them). Perhaps more importantly two boundary fences are hard to maintain, especially the bit between them and can look very ugly.

Aylesbury_Duck

Davren009 wrote: »

Ive suggested this twice and both times shes refused to do so. If she comes to me again then I'll suggest it again and see what happens. Im not really an argumentive person but Ive never had someone speak to me like that and Ive always been brought up respect my elders but have a strong feeling Im being bullied into paying something I didnt want and didnt give permission to. Ive explained why Im not happy and she didnt care and didnt want to talk about it. Shes banging on my door less 12 hours of me realising the fence had been put up demanding money. From a money point of view it doesnt bother me. Think she has it in her head im trying "pull a fast one" and not pay anything. I paid alot of money for a brand new house and having not really thought about all the pros and cons of the fence i just wanted it to look like the rest of the street. The money is not an objective its more just the principle of it all now. Can pay £300+ for a fence i have to share or pay £400 for fence thats all mine and doesnt require talking to her.

If she's that aggressive, just leave it then. You've paid nothing and have a brand new fence. I'm confident that in a short while you won't be bothered by the "bad" side.

Davren009

The other thing is she keeps threatening to pull the fence down cause she doesnt need it. So Im predicting shes going to pull it down when we eventually move in properly cause we have 3 dogs. I kinda just want to get my fence up show her I dont care about the money I just wanted my home the way i wanted it.

Aylesbury_Duck

Davren009 wrote: »

The other thing is she keeps threatening to pull the fence down cause she doesnt need it. So Im predicting shes going to pull it down when we eventually move in properly cause we have 3 dogs. I kinda just want to get my fence up show her I dont care about the money I just wanted my home the way i wanted it.

She's paid £400 for something and now says she's going to pull it down? Can't see it myself, except in one situation: If you erect your own fence, it will now have to be inside your boundary so guess what will happen. As soon as it's up, she'll take hers down and steal a strip of land from you. Call her bluff and cease all communication. You don't need a difficult neighbourly relationship and this one sounds potentially toxic so better off leaving it be.

You have the details of the fencing contractor? If she does carry out her silly threat, how quickly could you get him to put a new fence up for you?

a.turner

Davren009 wrote: »

The other thing is she keeps threatening to pull the fence down cause she doesnt need it. So Im predicting shes going to pull it down when we eventually move in properly cause we have 3 dogs. I kinda just want to get my fence up show her I dont care about the money I just wanted my home the way i wanted it.

It's her fence to pull down but having 3 dogs you need a method to control them so maybe you need a fence more than she does.

TheCyclingProgrammer

I’ve never really understood the whole “good side bad side” thing.

To me what people refer to as the “good side” (without the rails showing) is the outside of the panel and is what should be visible from outside your property.

The side with the rails should go on the inside. It makes it harder to climb the fence from the outside and it gives you convenient posts and rails to attach things to like trellis or hanging baskets etc.

Obviously with terraces and semi detached somebody has to have the “wrong” side but on a detached house a fence with the rails on the outside would just look odd to me.

Davren009

Aylesbury_Duck wrote: »

She's paid £400 for something and now says she's going to pull it down? Can't see it myself, except in one situation: If you erect your own fence, it will now have to be inside your boundary so guess what will happen. As soon as it's up, she'll take hers down and steal a strip of land from you. Call her bluff and cease all communication. You don't need a difficult neighbourly relationship and this one sounds potentially toxic so better off leaving it be.

You have the details of the fencing contractor? If she does carry out her silly threat, how quickly could you get him to put a new fence up for you?

Yeah I spoke to the guy yesterday that put fence up. As it stands even though we have the keys we're not living in the house full time most of our stuff is in the old house so even if she was to tear it down now it wouldn't really have any impact on us as the dogs are not there. I don't think she ll tear it down but morally if I liked the fence and was going to leave it like that then I'm not tight with money regardless of how she behaved I'd give her the money for the fence. The fact is I wanted the job carried out the way the rest of the gardens in the street have been carried out and its not how i wanted my garden. Think its in her head to argue that I'm trying to get out pf paying any money and she doesnt want to pay any more cause she's happy with her side. Its going to cost me pretty much the same to get a new fence on my land as it is to give her money. The gardens big enough not really going to bother me too much if i was too lose some.

Aylesbury_Duck

Sounds like there's a way forward to keep both of you happy then. Good.

Davren009

TheCyclingProgrammer wrote: »

I’ve never really understood the whole “good side bad side” thing.

To me what people refer to as the “good side” (without the rails showing) is the outside of the panel and is what should be visible from outside your property.

The side with the rails should go on the inside. It makes it harder to climb the fence from the outside and it gives you confident posts and rails to attach things to like trellis or hanging baskets etc.

Obviously with terraces and semi detached somebody has to have the “wrong” side but on a detached house a fence with the rails on the outside would just look odd to me.

The whole street is detached houses and the common pattern along all the houses is rails on the left "good side" on the right until you get to my garden where I have rails left and right sides, then her garden has 2 "good" sides. The house next door to her is still up for sale but the housing developer has put a fence up for that house and has continued the common trend of putting the rails on the left hand side.

Im not that fussy but we had a new house and blank canvas and wanted it a certain way. I get the pros and cons of the different sides. Think from this post Im just looking to gauge if Im being unreasonable in not wanting to pay for something which i didn't want. A sense of being bullied to give her the money and end up paying more for something that shouldn't have happened in the first place just doesn't sit right with me when I can pay the same amount of money and just have my own fence.