Toilet training a very stubborn 3 year old

Hi i need some advice! I started toilet training my 3.3 year old last week. We have had no success at all, just countless puddles and i have almost given up taking her to the potty or loo as she jumps off straight away and says no. She had shown all signs that she was ready. She is starting preschool in august so i need her trained by then. I have put 2 toys on the mantelpiece as an incentive and today im leaving her to it to see what happens if i don't put the pressure on.

I know i should maybe leave it for a month but im very worried she will still be like this! Any tips?
Mum of 2 :j
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Comments

  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 45,809
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    She is starting preschool in august so i need her trained by then.
    My potty training days are long gone, however I remember the nursery DS1 attended said they 'had' to be clean and dry. By the time DS3 was due to go, while it was encouraged, there was no compulsion - because it was seen as possible disability discrimination to say that a child who wasn't potty trained could not attend.

    Just saying.

    Definitely try to relax.

    Does she have friends to play with who are trained? Would that help? "See, baby wetbot has to have his nappy changed, but big sister drypants can run around in pants and use the potty!"
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  • splishsplash
    splishsplash Posts: 3,055
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    My daughter used the Three Day Potty Training approach and it worked very well with my grandson. He was a little over 2 and a half. Technically he should have been dry for a week before going to his daycare but it would be too long to wait till the next holiday/mid term so she went ahead when she had a four day weekend.

    The only accident he has had was this weekend (months later) as he was very unwell for a couple of days.

    The three day technique is essentially to decide on a date and commit entirely to it for the couple or three days it takes for the penny to drop.

    Piles of underwear and clean clothes, potty or toilet at the ready and then every ten or fifteen minutes, prompt or pop her on for a minute, or if she doesn't want to sit, then ask repeatedly. Keep at it and at it and at it.

    Good luck!
    I'm an adult and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want and I wish someone would take this power from me.
    -Mike Primavera
    .
  • Thank you both for replying! Sue, yes she goes to a childminder and she has 2 young ones that have just trained so she will see them using the loo. Am trying to relax a bit, im aware the more i force her to sit on the more she is saying no and i dont want it to turn into a struggle! Thats interesting about preschool i will check with them.

    Thanks splish splash. I have an older child and he has been off this week so has maybe distracted her a bit. I will look into the 3 day training and hopefully it works
    Mum of 2 :j
  • Splish- i have just looked up 3 day technique, did your daughter ditch pull ups at night? Thats a scary thought!
    Mum of 2 :j
  • splishsplash
    splishsplash Posts: 3,055
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    No - he still wore them at night for a week or so, as far as I can recall. He has a pad under the sheet just in case.

    Go for it! Has to be done at some stage.
    I'm an adult and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want and I wish someone would take this power from me.
    -Mike Primavera
    .
  • shiny76
    shiny76 Posts: 548
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    We bribed/rewarded ours whenever they did what we wanted them to.

    Our eldest soon forgot about the reward. The second (more stubborn) kept 'demanding' his reward for months :O
  • spadoosh
    spadoosh Posts: 8,732
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    Yeh sorry cant really help. We used bribes in the form of a sticker book, sticker every time she wees or poos on the toilet. She cracked the weeing very quickly, the pooing is largely there with the odd accident.
  • rach_k
    rach_k Posts: 2,233
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    Who cleans up the puddles? She's old enough to clean up her own mess (even if you have to secretly do it properly afterwards). It might seem like fun at first but not being allowed to play until she's cleaned the floor will get boring pretty quickly! Don't make it into a huge bad thing as you don't want to traumatise her(!); a cheerful "Oh no, you made a mess, here's a cloth to clean it up... you missed a spot!" is fine.
  • I started potty training my daughter young. Naked time is a huge help for me to determine her "I need to pee" signs. We tried to not use nappies during the day and just let her be on the floor with a mat so she can play around and use the potty when she needs to. It's a balance of you as an initiator to use the potty and encouraging her independence to potty by herself. I also liked the idea of letting her clean the puddles. :)
  • minimuffin12
    minimuffin12 Posts: 340 Forumite
    Just wanted to come back and update that 5 weeks on she is doing really well. It took 2 weeks of lots of accidents then one day she just started to go. Thank you for all the replies!
    Mum of 2 :j
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