Giving up/ Cutting Down Alcohol Thread Part 16

cathybird

Green_Karen wrote: »

17/28 April
4/5 WDC

Just completed day 30 of the 30 day challenge!

Congratulations from me too Green Karen :T:T:T:T:T

Honey_Bear

Green_Karen wrote: »

17/28 April
4/5 WDC

Just completed day 30 of the 30 day challenge!

Congratulations! Jolly well done, because it's hard. I'm not entirely sure I'd be able to do it again if I went back to drinking, either.


18/30 please, Shaggy.

Arkers

Good afternoon everyone ,
12 please Shaggy
Arkers x

sukeyboo

Green_Karen wrote: »

17/28 April
4/5 WDC

Just completed day 30 of the 30 day challenge!

Congratulations on completing the 30 day challenge Green Karen:T:T:T

10/12 for me today please Shaggy

Barny1979

15/26 AFDs today

cathybird

Morning all, 18/21 for me today please.


Shaggy, if there's a weekend challenge, I'll go in it, both days

loveasale

Well done Karen ,,,, a great achievement!
I’m going to be busy over Easter , and plan to drink ,!
Hope everyone has a good one xx

Green_Karen

18/28 April
4/4 WEC


Thanks all for the congratulations. Yes HB I don't find it easy either, I never do. Last time I did it was Stoptober, then I managed 4 months in total only drinking on two nights.

I thought I had found moderation, then suddenly my attitude to alcohol changed back again and I was right back to nightly drinking of a couple of glasses of wine. So now I have some hard thinking to do.

Going forward do I;
1/ Try to moderate (failed before)
2/ Give up alcohol altogether (but I know saying never drinking again leads my haggled little brain to say I can't do it and I fall back into drinking again, it's only telling myself that it's not forever that allows me to do a 30 day challenge)
3/ Continue as I have recently, 4 months with virtually no alcohol followed by a couple of weeks of nightly drinking is better than the continuous nightly drinking I did for about 20 years!

Suppose it's a no brainer when I write it down. My daft brain doesn't like me doing 1 and 2. Option 3 is better than I have done in decades, but involves the regular pain of an abstinent period.

Honey_Bear

Green Karen, no-one who gives up completely wants to. We only do it because having tried absolutely everything else we can think off, there really isn't any choice, it's destroying our health, our relationship(s) or our life or all of those things - and it's hard. If it were easy, this thread wouldn't exist, AA wouldn't exist, sober blogs wouldn't exist, people wouldn't be living on the streets and still drinking, and A&E on Friday and Saturday nights would be just like any other night. Unless you're absolutely determined to give up alcohol completely, it really isn't worth the angst.

On the other hand, if you are - it's 100%, absolutely without doubt brilliant, and speaking personally, the smartest move I've ever made, and the best thing I've ever done. If I could turn the clock back, I'd do it 10 years earlier, or even 20 years earlier, because the quality of my life is now fantastic and before it was, frankly, a bit pants. That's how much it means to me.

You can compromise by only drinking when you're out, only drinking on say 10 or 20 or however many days a year you choose, or any other rule you set yourself, and that way you are in control. The trick on non-drinking days is not to have the first one, because those of us with a problem know that 'One is too many and a thousand is never enough.' (I'm not actually a fan of AA, but they do have some useful sayings. If anyone reading that last sentence wants to argue with me about the virtues of AA - please don't.)

I think it works best if you decide that high days and holidays are fine - the questions those of us who gave up really wrestle with in the first few weeks are, 'How am I going to celebrate my achievements, and what about Christmas, birthdays and anniversaries?' If you can calculate how many of those days are important enough to warrant having a drink and take it from there, that might work.

The one thing we all, everyone who has stopped completely, has to deal with is exactly what makes it so hard is this: Knowing, understanding and genuinely accepting that I can never drink again.

I won't pretend that's not a problem to begin with because it's an absolute stinker to get your head around, and without doubt the hardest part of it. It's why the AA mantra is, 'One day at a time.' There honestly isn't any other way to get through the first few months, and it takes a fair old length of time before it ceases to need to be part of the conscious thought processes.

Every single drink you didn't have during your Stoptober and your recent 30 day stint is a huge victory and should be celebrated. Pushing yourself too far is only going to lead where a number of people who've said, 'Never again' on here and then disappeared after a few days. It's tough, and you're doing really well moderating by not drinking at all for weeks at a time. Enjoy that, and don't feel guilty about not going completely AF.

The reality of booze is that when we start drinking again after a period of abstinence, we go back in at exactly the same level that we were at when we stopped. Our bodies never reset the clock to zero again, so to speak, which is why I can't have even one drink. I might get away with it the first night, and even the second or third, but by the end of a fortnight I'd be back on 1+ bottles of wine a night, and screaming at OH. That's not a life I want back again, and as it's been four years and about eight months, I know this quality of life is for real and I want to keep it. That's all that keeps me off the booze, and I'm only ever one drink away from losing it all.

19/30 please, Shaggy - when you're back. I hope you're having a lovely Easter.

marahouti

It sounds to me that you are doing brilliantly Green Karen. Well done on completing your 30 day challenge. Whether you decide to moderate or work towards total abstinence you are a winner.
I have no more AF days to report and think I will be drinking over Easter (hopefully not too much). I will be back on the bus next week. X