Giving up/ Cutting Down Alcohol Thread Part 16

cathybird

Morning all, not an AFD for me today either as I've got a kid's birthday party, which is bound to be boozy (as in the parents and their friends, I mean ). Am once again hoping to not overdo it. It's an afternoon thing, that should help.

marahouti, enjoy the races!

thrifty-hayley

5/10 for me so far please Shaggy. I know its not much but its more AFDs than I've had in a month for a long time. I've just got into the habit of having a glass (or quite often 2) of wine after a long day because "I deserve it" but its got to the point where I was doing it out of routine rather than actual enjoyment if that makes sense? Either way I know my health and bank balance will thank me if I cut down so I'll try my best

Honey_Bear

Lovely news Arkers.

If people post untrue totals Season of Mist, I'm not sure what they gain! It never occurred to me that people wouldn't be honest about it.

Cathy Bird and Pollyanna - if I hadn't taken it one day, one hour and sometimes one minute at a time I'd still be drinking. They say cravings peak after 20 minutes but I'm not sure who 'They' are or whether it's true. All that mattered to me was I knew they passed and if I could resist just this time it would all be okay.

3 Cats Sooz, that sounds like an excellent plan. No apologies needed; if new people didn't join we'd get very stale very quickly. Long posts are fine by me; some of mine are incredibly long but no-one forces anyone to read anything. As often as not I've been thinking out loud when I type and I post because in effect this is my AF diary. And jolly useful to me it's been, too, because sometimes I forget how things were.
I suspect that those of us who tip over from being a purely social or moderate drinker into something that causes us concern do it in the same way that you did. Booze is really, really good at relaxing people very fast, and if you enjoy the taste of a particular tipple, once relaxed why shouldn't anyone have a second drink.

If I'd stuck to following the best bit of advice I've ever heard about drinking when I didn't really drink at all, just the occasional glass of wine with a meal when out, my drinking wouldn't have become a bit of a problem. What an extremely wise friend once said to me was, 'Only drink when you're happy. The problems start when people drink when they're not happy.' He was absolutely right, too.

My drinking tipped over from being a bit of a habit that tipped over into excess sometimes to problematic binging when I went through a very stressful time. The longer the stress continued, the longer the boozing to switch off in the evenings, until the day came when I'd booted the stress out of my life once and for all (which took years) but the drinking carried on. And on. You can guess the rest.

Mostly, booze is just a habit. Breaking the habit is just as hard as stopping smoking for some people, easier for others, because they're both addictive drugs and they're our go-to for stress-busting. New habits aren't that hard to acquire - jigsaw puzzles cost about £1 or £1.50 from a charity shop and require concentration that can be refocussed really quickly - corners, edges, all the faces/reds/blues/yellows or whatever etc and bingo! The danger of the first glass of wine time bypassed, even if it's only for one evening because you were absorbed by it and it gave you something to do with your hands. It's mentally active rather than watching TV which is passive and for me was an incredibly dangerous part of the day each day I wanted not to drink.

I absolutely do not advocate going totally alcohol-free to anyone who is concerned that they might not be up to it, or that doesn't know in their bones that carrying on will cost them everything. Great for people who do want to, but not everyone does.

It's a MUCH better idea to get a handle on the current situation and achieve the victories going from one bottle a day to two - three glasses a day, so that you can be proud of what you've achieved.

And keep posting. It makes a huge difference.

rosy10 wrote: »

and here I am 8 months later - not perfect, but not too shabby. I have dropped over 2 stone,(which do have Shaggy as utter inspiration). I'm a not too tall lady of a certain age, and I thought, quite frankly, I'm making excuses - and I'm worth so much more - so yes, it is about liking - dare I say, loving yourself more.

I don't drink every day anymore and it has been known for me to go a whole week - if not more :eek: without an alcoholic drink.

because I'm worth it!

Rosy, you'd be amazed at how many people join in January and disappear within a couple of weeks, or post once at any time of the year and then disappear - I did for about three or five years after my first post! Still being around and taming the demon is a mark of how much you've achieved. Good on you.

And you're right - we're all worth it!

17/31 please, Shaggy. Have a lovely holiday.

Arkers

Good afternoon everyone,
15 please Shaggy
Yesss Friday night with no drink, getting that itching stress like feeling about drinking this afternoon/this evening. Devil on one shoulder saying, go on just have a couple (wouldn't stop at a couple) and the angel saying don't start. I find the weekends the absolute worse.

Arkers x

Wanna_Bee_Free

Arkers wrote: »

I find the weekends the absolute worse.

Arkers x

I know exactly what you mean Arkers. I'm undecided about today. Which is better than things often are at this time on a Saturday!

rosy10

awww, thank you Honey Bear, your comments mean a lot!

14/TF, please Shaggy.

Arkers

Good morning everyone,
16 please Shaggy
Arkers x

Wanna_Bee_Free

One glass of red with dinner last night so yesterday wasn't AF. I found myself thinking it was a waste of a drinking day to have just the one.

This morning I was reading an article about the effect of alcohol if you are working out and it said moderate drinking was one drink for a woman, two for a man. I am thinking that alcohol has got me well in its clutches if a day I drink moderately feels like a waste / not enough to be worth bothering with.

My decision on drinking today will most likely be made after driving home. I don't think Maman's solution of visualising myself enjoying a cup of tea will work but I might try that with a cup of hot chocolate instead.

Or I might sink 2/3 to a bottle (or more) of white wine as usual and then wonder why I don't sleep as well etc etc... It often depends on how much drama my immediate family decide to inflict on each other and me today but that's just my excuse.

Sorry for the long, incohrent ramble, trying to get my thinking out of my head and you lovely thread are the only place I am honest about drinking. Which reminds me I've been dishonest on here in the sense I pledged an AFD and then slipped up and then waited until I had an AFD to report in. I felt guilty for not owning up immediately but really didn't want to see my low total go even lower!

thrifty-hayley

Wanna bee free I can completely relate. Its become a habit and when its been a long or stressful day you feel like you deserve it. One thing that worked for me this week was pouring fizzy elderflower drink into my wine glass and drinking that instead. I was still holding a wine glass so it didn't feel that different. Managed 3 AFDs this week doing that so will persevere! I did drink wine last night though and the silly thing is I woke up this morning knowing I didn't sleep as well as I have the other nights when I didn't drink. Might remind myself of that next time I'm tempted!

cathybird

Morning all, 15/21 for me today.

My do yesterday went on into the mid-evening and it was nearly 10pm when I got home. For most of the time I had a drink in my hand so can't say I didn't overdo it, I'm sure I did. I was never drunk though per se and don't feel too rough today - a bit tired. Maybe I've learned a bit of restraint over the years on this thread! Happy to be back in the saddle today. There might be one more outing for August but otherwise that's it.