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Elderly parents moving in

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francis21
francis21 Posts: 8 Forumite
in Mortgages & endowments
GF and I are buying leasehold property on a mortgage. GF wants to move her elderly parents in. Does mortgage company need to know? If we split up, will having them living there make it harder for me to get out, could GF and parents stop me selling?
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Comments

  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 10,000 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Do YOU want to live with her parents?
    How long is your relationship, new?
    How much personal space will you all have?
    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.60% of current retirement "pot" (as at end May 2025)
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 35,846 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    These are the sort of discussions you really need to be having with your girlfriend before buying a house together. Are you looking at a deed of trust to cover different eventualities?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • francis21
    francis21 Posts: 8 Forumite
    Hi,

    No, I don't want them moving in. Flat is too tiny and we won't cope. Can i stop her though? Horrid feeling I'll get home from work one day and they'll be there. They are both old and infirm, currently live abroad and she wants to help.
  • francis21
    francis21 Posts: 8 Forumite
    Agreed we should have had this discussion, but it seemed too remote. I never expected it. She sprung it on me this weekend. Mother has been taken ill, father already needs care. This is going to be long term.
  • Silvertabby
    Silvertabby Posts: 10,083 Forumite
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    Gosh, where to start ! How long have you been together? Is it possible that this was your GF's long term aim? Do her parents have to right to reside in the UK? Will they be entitled to any State benefits or will you and your GF have to support them (including non emergency medical expenses) ?

    If you split up, could your GF buy you out of the flat? If not, and she refuses to move out, then you will be stuffed.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    francis21 wrote: »
    GF and I are buying leasehold property on a mortgage. GF wants to move her elderly parents in.
    francis21 wrote: »
    No, I don't want them moving in. Flat is too tiny and we won't cope. Can i stop her though?

    How far along are you in the sale process?

    If you can, pull out now.
  • xylophone
    xylophone Posts: 45,597 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    GF and I are buying leasehold property on a mortgage. GF wants to move her elderly parents in. Does mortgage company need to know? If we split up, will having them living there make it harder for me to get out, could GF and parents stop me selling?

    The alarm bells are already sounding - can't you hear them?
  • kazwookie
    kazwookie Posts: 14,236 Forumite
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    Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen to me.

    1. You need to pull out
    2. You need to have an urgent conversation with GF
    3. Is the property big enough for another 2 adults / bathrooms / kitchens / own entrance etc
    4. Do the parents have any money of their own and can rent near by
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  • francis21
    francis21 Posts: 8 Forumite
    Mojisola wrote: »
    How far along are you in the sale process?

    If you can, pull out now.

    We have been there two years. I knew nothing at all of this until this weekend.
  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 10,000 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    If you can, pull out of the purchase ASAP.

    This is never going to work, if you're not both commited 100%.

    Only you know it your relationship can survive not going through with the purchase.

    Are you living together currently?
    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.60% of current retirement "pot" (as at end May 2025)
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