Elderly parents moving in

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Mortgages & Endowments
32 replies 1.9K views
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  • Sea_ShellSea_Shell Forumite
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    francis21 wrote: »
    We have been there two years. I knew nothing at all of this until this weekend.

    Sorry have you ALREADY bought 2 years ago???
    "It's time to start digging up those Squirrelled Nuts"!!!

    * I shall only get involved in new threads, once a dialogue has been established with the OP *
  • kazwookie wrote: »
    Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen to me.

    1. You need to pull out
    2. You need to have an urgent conversation with GF
    3. Is the property big enough for another 2 adults / bathrooms / kitchens / own entrance etc
    4. Do the parents have any money of their own and can rent near by

    I am having lots of conversations with her. She is currently abroad (EU country) with them. Her mother has recently been taken ill. If she gets them something nearby, she will need to fix up extra help. She says wants to bring them home first. I fear that once they're here they won't go. By the way we need two incomes to cover the mortgage. Neither of us can buy the other out.
  • xylophonexylophone Forumite
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    She is currently abroad (EU country) with them. Her mother has recently been taken ill. If she gets them something nearby, she will need to fix up extra help.

    Then tell her to do just that?
  • SilvertabbySilvertabby Forumite
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    Sorry - read your first post as you were in the process of buying the flat together. The fact that you bought/have been living together for 2 years does complicate things.

    Further to my and other posters comments, I would say that yes, you will have to inform your mortgage provider of your GF's plans - and it may be that they take a dim view of it. After all, if you were to default on the mortgage then they have the fall back of recovering their money by forcing the sale of the property - and that would be difficult if an infirm elderly couple were also in residence. You would also have to inform your insurer.

    Just noted that you have said that you need both incomes in order to pay the mortgage. What would happen if your GF gave up work in order to take care of her parents?....
  • elsienelsien Forumite
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    How many bedrooms does your flat have?
    Has she considered what state support will the parents be entitled to - If they're both ill and you are both working full time then (other issues aside) you're not going to be able to look after them properly.
    Has she looked into what they would actually qualify for or can they afford to support themselves?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • edited 31 March 2019 at 1:58PM
    Sea_ShellSea_Shell Forumite
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    edited 31 March 2019 at 1:58PM
    Are her parents ex-pats living abroad (eg Spain), or EU nationals. Could make a difference?

    Are they actually fit enough to travel?
    "It's time to start digging up those Squirrelled Nuts"!!!

    * I shall only get involved in new threads, once a dialogue has been established with the OP *
  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    francis21 wrote: »
    If she gets them something nearby, she will need to fix up extra help.

    If both your incomes are needed for your mortgage, how will she pay for somewhere else on top of carers?
  • Gosh, where to start ! How long have you been together? Is it possible that this was your GF's long term aim? Do her parents have to right to reside in the UK? Will they be entitled to any State benefits or will you and your GF have to support them (including non emergency medical expenses) ?

    If you split up, could your GF buy you out of the flat? If not, and she refuses to move out, then you will be stuffed.

    Parents and girlfriend are EU citizens. I am going to try to find out about their rights/my obligations if she brings them here. I don't think this was her long term aim! Father's been ill a long time, mother just recently, hence the panic. You've guessed I don't want them in our flat. We have a second bedroom but overall the flat is tiny. If reason fails, I'm looking for a legal get out, if there is one!!! I can't afford to buy her out, and she can't buy me out. My worry is she is just going to bring them.
  • Just noted that you have said that you need both incomes in order to pay the mortgage. What would happen if your GF gave up work in order to take care of her parents?....[/QUOTE]

    Exactly. She thinks she is going to be able to do it all. In my opinion she won't be able to. Then we have to sell. I have to have a way of getting them out. If telling the lender stops her, then that has to be that..
  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    francis21 wrote: »
    Parents and girlfriend are EU citizens. I am going to try to find out about their rights/my obligations if she brings them here.

    This may help -
    https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/claiming-benefits-if-youre-from-the-EU/before-you-apply/check-if-you-have-the-right-to-reside/

    If they are both ill and needing care, they obviously won't be earning so who is going to pay their bills?
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