Advice Needed on how to get my brother to move out !!

ska_lover

Pollycat wrote: »

Sorry, my bad.
bib = bit in bold.

It doesn't sound like the OP's parents have a lot of money (no 401k which I think is to with a pension).

Getting help here in the UK is hard.
For the OP's parents in the USA it might be nigh on possible to afford.

Maybe the OP could come back and comment on whether his parents have appropriate medical cover in place to even think about helping this chap through the mental illness he may or may not be eventually diagnosed with.

Ahh I see thank you Pollycat for coming back to clear that up

You are so right, getting help in the Uk is very hard. We have been through similar as a family and it was the worst time we have had as a family

I really can't comment on the USA I am afraid I don't know an awful lot about their healthcare systems

Pollycat

ska_lover wrote: »

Ahh I see thank you Pollycat for coming back to clear that up

You are so right, getting help in the Uk is very hard. We have been through similar as a family and it was the worst time we have had as a family

I really can't comment on the USA I am afraid I don't know an awful lot about their healthcare systems

Neither do I.
But I do know there's no equivalent of our NHS.

Tigsteroonie

OP, you're 17. Seeing as K won't leave and your parents don't appear to have the impetus to get him to leave, there's only one option - look to leave yourself. Go to college, get a job and move out, something. Take yourself away from the situation if it bothers you that much.

Pollycat

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

OP, you're 17. Seeing as K won't leave and your parents don't appear to have the impetus to get him to leave, there's only one option - look to leave yourself. Go to college, get a job and move out, something. Take yourself away from the situation if it bothers you that much.

I don't really know who college in the USA works.

But I do think it very unfair that the OP isn't being supported by his parents during what is a very important time in his life.

He really shouldn't have to move out.
His parents - especially his Mum - are letting him down badly.

As for the mental illness mentioned by ska lover, after reading through the original post again, I'm not sure he's even been diagnosed with a mental illness.

FallOutBoy wrote: »

my dad has said that if his anxiety is that bad, he should "apply for disability" i quote from him.

ska_lover

pinkshoes wrote: »

I'm assuming he is your Mum's son and step son of your dad?

Your dad needs to grow some balls and tell your mum that changes need to be made or else he will move out himself (with you??) or something like that![/QUOTE



If the Dad demands that - he is pretty much asking his wife to chose between him - her husband, and her son (whom I suspect to be pretty ill)

Pollycat

ska_lover wrote: »

If the Dad demands that - he is pretty much asking his wife to chose between him - her husband, and her son (whom I suspect to be pretty ill)

I don't agree with ultimatums.

But I do think agree with pinkshoes that the Dad needs to grow some balls and have a serious talk with his wife about the impact her son (K) is having on her younger son.

Personally, from what I've read I'm not convinced K is pretty ill.
He appears to have a pretty cushy lifestyle funded by his parents.

OP - are you coming back to this thread?

ska_lover

Pollycat wrote: »

As for the mental illness mentioned by ska lover, after reading through the original post again, I'm not sure he's even been diagnosed with a mental illness.

It doesn't appear that he has been diagnosed officially (not that the OP has said)

But this does not mean he does not have a mental health issue

He does appear to have some indicators, but that is why I say, they do need to seek professional help - a diagnosis if there is one, and treatment

ska_lover

Pollycat wrote: »

Personally, from what I've read I'm not convinced K is pretty ill.
He appears to have a pretty cushy lifestyle funded by his parents.

OP - are you coming back to this thread?

You may be right, but K does need to see a doctor to be assessed

Like I say, hopefully you are right.

However, OP has already mentioned Anxiety, and... Anxiety Disorder, alone, is a mental health condition that needs addressing. Anxiety seems like nothing to those who have never experienced it, but it can be very debilitating

What 29 year old wants to live like this, he does not sound like he is having a good time to me.

I hope I am wrong about all of it, but there are several alerts, in the small amount of info that OP has given

If there is a condition and left untreated, then they are just storing up bigger issues for the future, for all of them

OP if you come back, this is what I think... that you should be suggesting to your parents, a mental health evaluation for your Brother. Then step away, there is not really a lot you can do personally, as you have your own life to lead mate

A lot of pple will easily write off mental health issues as lazy etc, but that is lack of information - your parents need to look at the bigger picture - there may well be medical reasons for his behaviour and until that is investigated he should not be written off / thrown out / assumed to be lazy or having a free ride

FallOutBoy

hi all! i appreciate your help and assistance here. as for the mental health assessment with my brother, my parents don't take too kindly to such things- being mental health issues. when i was younger, i self-harmed, ( using this as an example. ) and they did nothing. they told my entire family that i was just attention seeking, and they grounded me for it. as for the funding for therapy, my parents have had a bout of bad luck, and issues pile up. issues that require money to fix. car problems, house problems, problems with our pets. i don't think we can afford it. my mom's suggested that my brother go to a doctor, which, he does need a check up. when my dad heard of this, he said they need to "see what's wrong with him." i don't like the way my brother is being treated by him, because yeah, nobody wants to live like this- but we don't even know if my brother will get the check-up.
as for the "OP you need to move out" i can't. i'm still in highschool/grade school, i legally cannot move out until i'm 18, and i don't have enough money for that. i'm saving up for a car right now, which is my first big step to leave the house, somewhat. i do intend to move out, to get a better job, when i have the sufficient funds for it. i can't even go to college yet, because you have to graduate high/grade school, ya know?
apologies for being so inactive, i've been busy with work.
as for the healthcare bit, last i checked/heard, my mom said we were switching healthcare companies, or maybe it was insurance companies, but i don't know if he's been professionally diagnosed. i've mentioned to my dad in passing that i think he's stolen from me, but we've never acted upon it.

Pollycat

TBH, FallOutBoy, I'm not sure this forum can help much further.
I know I'm out of suggestions.