Should I spend money for my children’s private education or save money for them?

AnotherJoe

We spent much less than the equivalent money for private schooling to move near to a couple of excellent schools. Money much better spent. And recoverable when you move.

I know of a few friends whose kids did go to private schools and first wasn't that impressed with the results they were getting (of course, maybe they were better than they would otherwise have got but end of the day my kids results were the same or better than theirs and you cant improve on A or A* or whatever it is now) plus i do know of a couple of cases where schools were reluctant to get rid of disruptive pupils i presume pretty much just because that's one less set of fees.
So i would say, if schools are dire where you are, use the school fee money to move.It will be substantially cheaper.

Or, if they are good, why pay the extra ? Especially if, as now is is being reported happening lets say two kids both get same exam results, the ones who went to "ordinary school" gets preference over the one who went to "great private school" for university entrance because (1) it ups the unis "diversity score" and (2) its regarded that the one who went to private school had an advantage yet hasn't done better than the one who didn't.

OldMusicGuy

Marvel1 wrote: »

I believe you are either academic or your not - what school you attend makes no difference.

Definitely not our experience. Our son was "academic" in that he enjoyed learning and had a good work ethic. But he was no child genius. When he took the entrance exam for his second school, maths was one of his weaker subjects and we had him down as "not a mathematician". However, this school is well known for its teaching of maths and the vast majority of pupils are expected to pass maths A level. Due to the superb teaching at that school, our son got two maths GCSEs and a maths A level, all the highest grades possible. We would never have expected that when he entered the school.

Having those qualifications has turned out to be very helpful in both his university course and in his career (which involves use of statistics).

Out,_Vile_Jelly

I've met some astoundingly thick people who went to very expensive schools.


A friend of mine teaches in a private school; they don't earn any more than in the state sector, but get more holidays.

noradylan20

I also think it would be ideal for us to spend money to buy a new house near a preferred secondary school.

The tricky thing is we are always afraid our new house will turn out not be close enough to the state school as everyone wants that school. If that happens, we will get stuck and be in the waiting list forever.

AnotherJoe wrote: »

We spent much less than the equivalent money for private schooling to move near to a couple of excellent schools. Money much better spent. And recoverable when you move.

I know of a few friends whose kids did go to private schools and first wasn't that impressed with the results they were getting (of course, maybe they were better than they would otherwise have got but end of the day my kids results were the same or better than theirs and you cant improve on A or A* or whatever it is now) plus i do know of a couple of cases where schools were reluctant to get rid of disruptive pupils i presume pretty much just because that's one less set of fees.
So i would say, if schools are dire where you are, use the school fee money to move.It will be substantially cheaper.

Or, if they are good, why pay the extra ? Especially if, as now is is being reported happening lets say two kids both get same exam results, the ones who went to "ordinary school" gets preference over the one who went to "great private school" for university entrance because (1) it ups the unis "diversity score" and (2) its regarded that the one who went to private school had an advantage yet hasn't done better than the one who didn't.

TBagpuss

I think it depends hugely on the child, the school and the home environment.

In many cases, private schools have smaller class sizes and are able to give more attention to individual children - if your child needs extra support or needs to be 'pushed' then they may benefit from that aspect.

Private schools often have better facilities if you want your hild to be able to focus n sports, or music.

Private schools will have a narrower range of pupils so your child will have less experience of working with, and getting to know a wide range of people from different backgrounds

The additional support they get at school may result in them being less used to managing their own work / time which may be a disadvnatage to them when they getto university or start work

You may find that most of the other parretns are as well or r better off than you, if you are scraping to afford it. That may mean that you have issues with your children feeling that they are missing out compared to what they see their friends having.

If you have a supportive home environment, you can counteract a lot of the potential downsides of state schools - for instnace, one-to-one involvment and support iwth homework, encouragement and your particupation in out of school activities etc.

If you have an academically able child, they are likelyto do well regardless of which school they go to, but they risk gettting bored and may benefitfrom private ducation where they are likely to have more opportunities to stretch themselves or be challenged.
Again, to an extent you can addressthis by using some of the money you would save on school fees to pay for other activities.

MallyGirl

My DD went to an independent primary school as the local options were awful and the fees weren't massively more than we had been used to paying for nursery. She thrived there.
She took the 11+ and gained a place at a very selective grammar. We gave her the choice - I favoured the grammar and DH was keen for her to stay at the indie. She chose the grammar. This turned out to be lucky as DH got made redundant out of the blue after 20 years service and it would have been more difficult if the fees had been looming for the 9 months he was unemployed.
She had a good time with great friends for 5 years (and got amazing GCSE results) but then chose to go back to the indie for 6th form.
They had a very college like setup for 6th form with a strong emphasis on pupils managing their own educational journey. The class sizes are 5 or 6 vs the grammar which had up to 25 in an A level class. They are more geared up to support the uni application process. She made a good choice. I have noticed that she actually goes to the subject specific drop in clinics now whereas at the grammar she never would have - no idea if this is just maturity or a generally better relationship with the teachers or just a strong focus due to needing 3As to get on her uni course.
At each point I think the right choice was made but we are lucky that we could have managed the fees all the way through (only 1 child). I wouldn't be thinking about early retirement as much if she had chosen the indie for the whole journey but it would have been fine.

euronorris

oystercatcher wrote: »

I think it depends on the area you live in and the standard of the local state schools. Money may be better spent moving areas to be nearer to good schools. Although bear in mind school can change drastically over a few years. The school near us has gone from 'Good' to 'Special measures' and back to 'Good again' in just a few years.

I agree with this. My local state school was awful. I was being bullied and they basically said 'put up with it or leave'. I managed to get a scholarship to a private school and it was fantastic!


So, personally, if I were ever in a position to be able to afford private school for my own child, I would weigh it up against what the local state schools are like. I think there is something to be said for mixing with a peer group that doesn't have the same financial advantages as you, and coming to appreciate the challenges that they may face (that a child of a wealthier couple may not). If all other children in your school are wealthy and never worry about money, you may grow up lacking some basic empathy and understanding for people's differing financial situations.

goodwithsaving

euronorris wrote: »

I think there is something to be said for mixing with a peer group that doesn't have the same financial advantages as you, and coming to appreciate the challenges that they may face (that a child of a wealthier couple may not). If all other children in your school are wealthy and never worry about money, you may grow up lacking some basic empathy and understanding for people's differing financial situations.

I disagree. Children can mix with others in Scouts, sports clubs etc. that aren't attached to the school. The mixing with different backgrounds doesn't have to be exclusively done at school.
I wouldn't use any of the presented reasons as an excuse not to put a child through private education if the local schools weren't up to scratch. Some people can afford it, some can't. That's life. Those who have the means to give their children a private education shouldn't feel guilt tripped about being able to afford it, nor that their child 'isn't mixing with different groups'. Given a decent upbringing, any empathetic child would learn to embrace all people by adopting the behaviour of their parents.

euronorris

goodwithsaving wrote: »

I disagree. Children can mix with others in Scouts, sports clubs etc. that aren't attached to the school. The mixing with different backgrounds doesn't have to be exclusively done at school.
I wouldn't use any of the presented reasons as an excuse not to put a child through private education if the local schools weren't up to scratch. Some people can afford it, some can't. That's life. Those who have the means to give their children a private education shouldn't feel guilt tripped about being able to afford it, nor that their child 'isn't mixing with different groups'. Given a decent upbringing, any empathetic child would learn to embrace all people by adopting the behaviour of their parents.

Of course they can, IF their parents can still afford the cost of those clubs on top of private school fees. That may well be a stretch too far for some people.


I never said I would be a good reason to not to put a child into private education if the local state schools were not up to scratch. Quite the opposite, that IF the local state schools were good, I don't see much additional benefit in paying for private education and that a benefit of going to state school would be increased mixing with children from differing backgrounds. IF the local state schools are not up to scratch, and private was affordable, then private it would be.


Parental input certainly plays a big part in either outcome. Many children thrive in state schools, even poor ones, because of their parental input. Likewise, there were pupils at the private school I attended who were dire because their parents were not involved/try to buy their way out of the issue/or would argue that their child could do no wrong (even in the face of strong evidence to contrary). I remember one boy who would play up something chronic, never do his homework etc because 'I don't need to, my parents are rich and I'll just work for my Dad when I leave school.'. Well, his parents didn't take any notice....until he failed the year and the teachers recommended he retake it. Thankfully (for him), his parents finally took notice and made him retake that year!

ska_lover

noradylan - Did you go to private or state school, yourself?

For the record, If I had small children, and could afford it - I would consider it.

Although it would take some huge research as I am not clued up on it - I went to state school - and it was awful then, and that was nearly 30 years ago.

All you hear about these days are how overworked teachers are in state schools, and it really does show that when droves are leaving the profession. Class sizes through the roof and this week I read about a primary aged child taking a knife in to class

The small class sizes and potential of extra opportunities, would be a draw