PayPal mess

TheGardener

onwards&upwards wrote: »

Is it possible that part of the reason you don’t want to hear this from them is that part of you agrees?

Your husband has really crossed a line with his criminal behaviour, where is your line in the sand for intolerable behaviour? How serious will the impact need to be on you and the children?

As we have pointed out in earlier posts on this thread - please ensure posts are supportive - not judgemental or accusatory. The OP is already well aware of the issues.

onwards&upwards

TheGardener wrote: »

As we have pointed out in earlier posts on this thread - please ensure posts are supportive - not judgemental or accusatory. The OP is already well aware of the issues.

Not at all trying to be judgemental, just to encourage the OP to put herself and the kids first and think about the possibility of things getting worse and being ready for it.

I was a gambling addict myself until last year, i’m not without sympathy for him but she shouldn’t be dragged down too, his actions aren’t her responsibility, just as my problems weren’t anybody else’s responsibility.

Sorry if it came across wrong.

soolin

Just a couple of points of clarification, it is perfectly possible to refund a friends and family payment and bearing in mind which board I am on I won't speculate on why this doesn't seem an option for you. However even if you cannot see a way to do it via the initial payment a refund can easily be made by sending back a further friends and family payment yourself.

As a final comment you mention buyer has your address. In that case if the buyer approached us on the eBay board here or on eBay they would be told to take the account holder to small claims and recover their loss claiming fraud. At that point if refund was not forthcoming the buyer could go further and instruct court bailiffs to collect and ultimately if this got unpleasant it could end up in CCJ territory.

If buyer does not have your address then they would be advised to report to police and auction fraud and potentially attempt to track you down themselves with a view to legal proceedings.

I thought it important to know what could potentially happen here as it can have a knock on effect for you and not just your husband. There is an angry and defrauded person out there, perhaps with a lot less money than you, and possibly with a lot of time on their hands to make every attempt they can to get their money back.

Clouds88

Soolin we both want to repay the money and will do so, we have the court forms from him that’s claiming the Money back plus £60 fee that he’s had to pay to do it this way. We tried to send the payment back family and friends but because we didn’t have enough in his account because the money from this guy was gambled by my husband and the rest cleared his arrears from PayPal.

I am not sure how he got our address to send the court papers to but it’s fine because I wanted a secure way to pay without him trying g to do a charge back and recover the fees twice . I wondered as obviously it’s my husbands debt and he hasn’t got a job or any income if he could pay Like £50-60 back. Do the court pay him Initially and then he pays the money back to the court in instalments? Not sure how it works?

On a positive note though he’s on new meds and has started to improve and he’s suggested applying for a new job so we might be able to clear it quicker in a few months if this follows through.

soolin

Clouds88 wrote: »

Soolin we both want to repay the money and will do so, we have the court forms from him that’s claiming the Money back plus £60 fee that he’s had to pay to do it this way. We tried to send the payment back family and friends but because we didn’t have enough in his account because the money from this guy was gambled by my husband and the rest cleared his arrears from PayPal.

I am not sure how he got our address to send the court papers to but it’s fine because I wanted a secure way to pay without him trying g to do a charge back and recover the fees twice . I wondered as obviously it’s my husbands debt and he hasn’t got a job or any income if he could pay Like £50-60 back. Do the court pay him Initially and then he pays the money back to the court in instalments? Not sure how it works?

On a positive note though he’s on new meds and has started to improve and he’s suggested applying for a new job so we might be able to clear it quicker in a few months if this follows through.

Firstly I'm pleased to hear that your husband has taken medical support and appears to be improving.

However Buyer does not have to agree to a staggered refund and they would need to decide whether to pay extra to enforce collection (which like the court fee will be added to your amount owing) or not. I'm not aware that the court can insist that buyer takes instalments or will pay out and allow your husband to pay them back direct to the court.

Again advice to buyers from perhaps the more reasonable posters would be to dig around and see what sort of life the seller has, whether there are likely to be assets that can be recovered , cars, electronics etc. From your own point of view this was why I felt compelled to post, as it may be difficult to prove what of your household belongs to you and what to your husband, and you could end up in the unfortunate position of having to try and safeguard your personal assets to stop collection.

You seem willing to pay back this fraudulent payment and it might be better to scrimp or even borrow the money before costs increase any further .

I use the term reasonable buyer above as I have been around eBay forums for quite a while now and am aware that some buyers would consider that all is fair against a fraudsters and get some rather silly ideas, but I see no reason to worry about that at the moment as this buyer seems to be sticking entirely to a legal and correct route.

Clouds88

He can moce back into his mothers until this blows over if it came to balifs, I have lived in this rented house for 4 more years than he has so all of the stuff is pretty much mine, he’s got no car or assets so they couldn’t take anything and I know we can refuse them entry anyway? So if he moved to his mums, jobless and no possessions then what more can they do?

From my point of view they will have to accept the monthly payments or they will end up with nothing, a ccj is not an issue to someone who is insolvent. Neither of our families have the money to lend to us also. But fingers crossed this can get sorted out properly. If he didn’t send it friends and family anyway he would have his money back via PayPal now, PayPal said it themselves when we rang them and explained- they seemed pretty annoyed at the buyer that he sent payment for goods this way too.

onwards&upwards

It’s not the buyer’s fault that your husband stole his money. I know it must be really tempting to look for ways to shift the blame away from the person you love who has let you down, but don’t go down that rabbit hole, it leads nowhere good.

Clouds88

I am not at all, I am purely stating scaring me into thinking my possessions will be taken is nonsense. I really want this mess sorted out but not at my expense, he will repay I will make sure of it but it won’t be instant payment as we simply do not have the funds. Thank you for your input though. I know the guy will be annoyed I would be too, I also wouldn’t be stupid enough to send a ‘gift’ payment (as PayPal have seen it) for a goods service. But I will make sure every penny is repaid eventually.

soolin

Clouds88 wrote: »

I am not at all, I am purely stating scaring me into thinking my possessions will be taken is nonsense. I really want this mess sorted out but not at my expense, he will repay I will make sure of it but it won’t be instant payment as we simply do not have the funds. Thank you for your input though. I know the guy will be annoyed I would be too, I also wouldn’t be stupid enough to send a ‘gift’ payment (as PayPal have seen it) for a goods service. But I will make sure every penny is repaid eventually.

Again being mindful of the board I am on your husband would have asked for friends and family payment, that's how scammers work. I'm not sure that blaming the victim comes across particularly well and when this goes to court it might be best not to dwell on that aspect.

As for scaring you, I'm sorry if you feel that was what I was doing. If the PayPal account was registered to your address that's where any collection will occur. As long as you have receipts and paperwork showing that you bought everything in the home that is of any value then of course your goods are safe.

Clouds88

Just FYI- He DIDNT ask for friends and family just actually. He is not some big time scammer, I have seen and we have proof of the conversation between my husband and the buyer I can even send it via DM if you need proof, the guy sent it that way without being asked- he made that mistake. My husband was trying to see if he could get money from PayPal not the individual itself. So please do not make assumptions and I have said in previous posts that he did not request friends and family. It has made this situation ten times worse that the guy sent the payment that way.