How many boys holidays

pboae

miss_edith wrote: »

Sorry to intrude on another post but this is kind of relevant to me too. I've been with my boyfriend 3 years, we don't live together but do intend to at some point in the distant future. So far we have had just 2 weekends away together and he goes away with a friend for 2 or 3 weeks each year. I'm not bothered about him going, he should make the most of the opportunity to see places but I get a bit annoyed that he uses most of his leave on these holidays and has no time left for me. And the other problem is that I'm a teacher so am stuck with school holidays and he is not allowed to take any holiday at Xmas, Easter or the Feb half term so we're pretty much stuck with only the summer holidays together and that seriously limits the places we can go to. I'm finding it really hard to cope with. Has anyone else been in this position?

You need to talk to him and find out his take on it. It could be that he figures that as you two can't afford to go away during the summer, he may as well use the holiday at other times. Does he know how much it bothers you? If you can't afford to go away in the summer he could still take a week off and you could just do cheap day trips instead, it can be just as much fun and a lot cheaper that going away.

Otherwise, you've still got October and May half terms, so maybe you could do something then instead. It's not as cheap as out of season, but it's usually a lot cheaper than summer. One tip is to watch out for regional spread in neighbouring counties, half terms in particular are often the week before or after in different areas. So sometimes you can get an out of season price if you drive to an airport in a neighbouring county.

pboae

eslick wrote: »

There becomes a time when you need to give up lads holidays and I would have thought that making a commitment to move in was that time. Sorry to say Lads holidays are for two things one is drinking and the other is ........

That's quite a generalisation, and not my experience at all. If men (or women) want to play away, they don't need to go on holiday to do it. If you can't trust your partner to be faithful, then lads holidays are the least of your worries.

miss_edith

pboae wrote: »

You need to talk to him and find out his take on it. It could be that he figures that as you two can't afford to go away during the summer, he may as well use the holiday at other times. Does he know how much it bothers you? If you can't afford to go away in the summer he could still take a week off and you could just do cheap day trips instead, it can be just as much fun and a lot cheaper that going away.

Otherwise, you've still got October and May half terms, so maybe you could do something then instead. It's not as cheap as out of season, but it's usually a lot cheaper than summer. One tip is to watch out for regional spread in neighbouring counties, half terms in particular are often the week before or after in different areas. So sometimes you can get an out of season price if you drive to an airport in a neighbouring county.

Thanks for all the replies. There is no problem with him not considering me or with the money issues. I probably didn't explain it very well. We are both very independent people and are in no rush to 'settle down' but that doesn't mean we aren't commited to each other. The problem is that we want to go to places that are too hot and impracticle to go to during the summer so thats why he still goes with a friend. I don't expect him to turn down 2 weeks in the Far East just because I can't go in school time. Likewise I end up going to America or the Middle East during the Xmas or Easter hols when he isn't allowed holiday and he'd never dream of stopping me. It just gets me down that we can't plan any holidays like these together because of our jobs. Its hard to accept that as long as we're doing the jobs we do we can't really go anywhere much outside of Europe together.

keelykat

Hi- if his weeks away were 'lads holidays' id be worried, but from what youre saying hes not going for drinking and sleeping with loads of women...so this doesnt seem too bad!

Everyones obviously different, for example we dont go away without each other-but were really skint and if he chose to take his one holiday with mates without me id be rather miffed.... so obviously we spend what money we have on a holiday together. Doest mean we live in each others pockets-and theres nothing wrong with spending time together (i love being with him-cant help that!)

If we had money yeah we probably would have more time with mates going away etc-but to be honest im not the kind of person to just go away for weeks, i would miss him to much. For me a weeekend would be enough.

keely.

Mojisola

From all the extra you've written, he sounds a wonderful guy! Relax, and start to enjoy a new phase in your life.

Good luck!

basilcat7

Thanks everyone for all of your thoughts and opinions !! it seems to me that everyone has different relationships and views and what works for some doesn't for others...Also, I think we are still in the early stages and being together more will evolve.I think that all will be good, also I have got on the phone to a friend and she has a few weekends free as her husband has some shooting weekends away so we are going to do stuff together too!!Miss_edith- I think it would be nice if you could have a holiday together but sounds like you are both independent (and well travelled!) people too. Could you not compromise on a not too hot place in the summer for a week then he could go somewhere else too??

Janepig

I'd just be grateful to have a 26 year old boyfriend! :rolleyes::D

Jxx

January20

I don't really want to comment on the holiday thing as such as I believe that one size doesn't fit all and what might be great for a couple might not be for another.

I just want to warn you a little about the age gap thing. I used to be in a long term relationship with someone who was 7 years younger than me. I always made allowances for the age gap in his favour. He never learned to "grow up" and learn to be a responsible partner and father because I allowed him to put his friends and his selfish attitude first. I shouldered the responsibility for everything. Very draining. In the end we went our separate ways.

You need to work out what you expect from him and not make too many allowances for the age difference. He chose to be with you. He chose to move in with you. You didn't force him! And then you need to discuss what you expect with him.