How many boys holidays

Carmina_Piranha_3

i don't think it sounds excessive - but i'd probably want him to invite me to one of the festivals with him, next year if not this year. but if all his other boy mates are single and it's boys only then 'let him' go to one of the festivals with his mates - don't insist on going to both. if you don't like the festivals then it's not an issue - i only mentioned it because it's the sort of thing i would want to do as a couple.

Mojisola

When it comes down to it, only you know what level you'll be happy with. Some couples seem to need to do everything together, others live fairly independent lives.

Do you do other things together?

Does he mind if you plan a weekend away without him - if you haven't done it yet, arrange one (a cheap one visiting family or an old friend) and see how he reacts.

Do you trust him when he is off with his mates? If not, that could cause problems.

It can be very healthy for a couple to have some time apart and have something new to talk to each other about as long as it's not one partner taking advantage the other.

I hope as well as paying you rent he is also sharing the food bills, etc. It would worry me if he isn't.

basilcat7

Hi thanks again everyone.
Yes I do trust him when he's away and he does contribute to the food bills- in fact he said he'll pay for it all when he moves in.
And he has asked me to go to V and Leeds- but I'm not sure its my sort of thing- no showers hair straighteners etc... but then maybe I need to loosen up and see how he does it !!
He never minds if I do my own thing either and last night I asked him if we can organise stuff for us to do which he said of course !!!
He even said he would treat me and my sister for a spa weekend... ok ok he sounds pretty perfect doesn't he !! Lucky me.
Thanks again all xx

Jo_R_2

With regard to the boys weekends... I think couples having their own space is great, there's no benefit in making someone feel bad for wanting to do their own thing - I really believe that each of you having your own interests and activities allows you to have your own freedom and avoids the kind of relationship where you depend on each other for a social life (been there - not good!)

And I have to say he sounds very generous with his money, it sounds like he sees clearly that he has more disposable income than you and wants to share his with you with holidays and weekends because he knows you can't afford it. How sweet and considerate to offer to treat you and your sister, you do sound lucky!

mintymoneysaver

I think it's fine! I've been married a long time, got married young, and our children are growing up. Before we had children OH and I did everything together (and I lost a few friends along the way), and then when the children were little we did all sorts of things as a family but now we are starting to do our own things, and I wish we had done it at the beginning too in a way. Hubby would go to the opening of an envelope, likes going out drinking and has an active social life with work. Not my idea of fun but I have my spa weekend with the girls and a shopping weekend with my sister. We never stop each other doing anything ( unless it is something to do with the children) and I think that's okay.
I have a friend though who cannot understand this at all, she thinks we're 'funny' as her and her hubby do everything together ( I think he would like a bit more freedom in my opinion!)
OH even keeps saying he's desperate to go round Australia, so I've told him when our girls are no longer dependent on us that he can go and I'll be here when he gets back! ( or I might pop over and see him if there's a luxury hotel involved!)

miss_edith

Sorry to intrude on another post but this is kind of relevant to me too. I've been with my boyfriend 3 years, we don't live together but do intend to at some point in the distant future. So far we have had just 2 weekends away together and he goes away with a friend for 2 or 3 weeks each year. I'm not bothered about him going, he should make the most of the opportunity to see places but I get a bit annoyed that he uses most of his leave on these holidays and has no time left for me. And the other problem is that I'm a teacher so am stuck with school holidays and he is not allowed to take any holiday at Xmas, Easter or the Feb half term so we're pretty much stuck with only the summer holidays together and that seriously limits the places we can go to. I'm finding it really hard to cope with. Has anyone else been in this position?

flybynight

we've been together for three years, and still enjoy doing stuff apart. last year my Oh went away with her choir to europe doing her thing (quaint and sightseeing in churches isnt my thing) and i went on a signals course and to annual camp ( i also did a couple of weekends away and one with rugby). we also tehn went on a 2 week holiday which was somewhere we both wanted to go.
the thing is this way she gets to do stuff she wants to do (with ither people who arent going to wander round looking thoroughly bored and looking for the pub) and i get to do stuff i want to do (I just cant see her half way across bodmin moor).
this means we are both happy and enjoy doing stuff together. it also means we have something to talk about when we get back.:beer:

miserly_mum

nickiboop wrote: »

My OH Is going on a stag do in Feb next year to dublin for 4 days,

Maybe its just me......but what was so wrong with Stag NIGHTS or indeed hen nights.

ONE good boozy nights fun

Didn't cost the earth and most partners didn't mind so long as no one got arrested:rotfl:

eslick

There becomes a time when you need to give up lads holidays and I would have thought that making a commitment to move in was that time. Sorry to say Lads holidays are for two things one is drinking and the other is ........

Doing things apart is ok, just not lad holidays (same goes for girls one)

Totally agree on the stag and hen night idea, all of our lot have been married for years but just the thought of the added expense of having a weekend away in another country just to go to a stag do doesnt make any sense to any of us.

basilcat7

miserly_mum wrote: »

Maybe its just me......but what was so wrong with Stag NIGHTS or indeed hen nights.

ONE good boozy nights fun

Didn't cost the earth and most partners didn't mind so long as no one got arrested:rotfl:

I agree- but oh how I wish one of my friends could get married so we could have a (cheap?- MSE) hen weekend........ right in the mood for one of those !! Anyone agree??