Charging teens rent....

alrhios

Absolutely not, resentment is the wrong word. I think its fab that she has a job
What I resent is that she will always sit back and take. She doesn't offer to help around the house, cant keep anything tidy... a typical teenager really! but at the same time, she is now a young adult and she needs to take some responsibility. If shes earning why should I struggle to support her? she certainly has much more disposable income than I do. I don't think its unreasonable, in fact id say the people above who said they earned yet never contributed to they're parents homes either have wealthy parents or seem pretty selfish to me, but that's my opinion. if i was lucky enough to be wealthy maybe i'd look at it differently

need_an_answer

I hear what you are saying but I'm not convinced that by offering or indeed paying money to you will change your daughter and her mindset of not helping around the house. the 2 issues are separate.


Financial independence and budgeting is something that should be taught to children/teens/young adults at a far earlier age than when they bring in their first wages.


You wont be the first to have the "contributing to the home" conversation and you certainly wont be the last...just make it as painless for both of you as you can
If you think there will be a reluctance why not try the tactic of offering a shopping list to her and asking her to pick up and pay for some bits on the way home one night.. a tactic of not taking money directly but contributing a bit of time and finance to you all.

alrhios

need_an_answer wrote: »

I hear what you are saying but I'm not convinced that by offering or indeed paying money to you will change your daughter and her mindset of not helping around the house. the 2 issues are separate.


Financial independence and budgeting is something that should be taught to children/teens/young adults at a far earlier age than when they bring in their first wages.


You wont be the first to have the "contributing to the home" conversation and you certainly wont be the last...just make it as painless for both of you as you can.

She'll understand I know, think its me that feels uncomfortable to discuss it and she probably knows that. I think whats been said above is a good idea that i will put some away for her. She is good at saving, always has been. Its something I installed when both my girls were little. (Put half away, keep half to spend). But shes a little too good, and still wants me to buy everything :rotfl:
Being a lazy little devil is my own doings really. ill get strong and address the issue! :rotfl:

firsttimeworrywart

I think it would be a good idea to go ahead and request a contribution towards the household. I've been working since I left school at 16 and I've always paid rent/house keep to my parents. When I was on a lower salary I paid £30 a week but now I'm on a higher salary I pay £50 a week. I'm due to move out in to my first home shortly and I'm so grateful that my parents helped me get accustomed to paying towards bills, as the cost of owning a property and paying a full set of bills came as less of a blow to me due to already contributing towards some at home.

Your children will thank you for it

Ian_875

I would definately make it a percentage rather than an amount.

When I was a teenager I was working a part time job, and my mother asked for a fixed amount each week, I think it was £20 or so. Fair enough, but I started to resent it when I'd work fewer hours but still had to pay the same amount. Sometimes I was only doing say 8 hours a week and, after tax and travel, making about £40. Having to hand over half my 'wage' (whereas other weeks £20 would have been 25% or less) really !!!!ed me off.

I remember once they came home with a new games console and I threw a typical teenage hissy fit cause to me it felt like they were bleeding me dry and wasting it on stuff.

I know, looking back, I was probably really wide of the mark, but that's what happened. If I had to pay say 20% I'd have felt much more comfortable.

An alternative idea is the one my wifes parents used when she was living at home. They didn't take anything, provided she put x amount into savings instead. As a result she grew up much more financially sound than I did, and it took me years to get to the point where I not only had savings, but appreciated having them whereas because she'd always saved (abeit forced!) she had a much better understanding of the value of money.

SingleSue

I never had to have the conversation with my eldest son, he moved straight from university into a flat share with friends as the commute between his job and my home would have been too awkward every day (rural area, public transport not reliable). He didn't even come home for a couple of days, his uni stuff was picked up and dropped off at his new place.

The conversation is looming with middle son, he finishes uni this summer and at the moment he has no idea what he wants to do but he has the potential to be the awkward one as unlike the other two when they were/are home from uni, he reverts to wanting to be a child waited on hand and foot (with the resultant strops when it doesn't happen). That said, he does have Aspergers and in his mind it makes perfect sense, home - mum does and pays for things, uni - he does and pays for things.


Youngest already pays and does everything for himself when home from uni, so the conversation with him will not be difficult.

I'm one of the parents where I would need to 'charge' an adult working child 'rent'. My income is at a level where it is a struggle to support one person but just about doable with some extreme budgeting let alone someone else and they would have no choice but to pay their way to make the books balance.

Mojisola

jennifernil wrote: »

She should also be doing some chores such as cleaning and dishwashing, even cooking the occasional meal for all the family.

alrhios wrote: »

What I resent is that she will always sit back and take. She doesn't offer to help around the house, cant keep anything tidy... a typical teenager really! but at the same time, she is now a young adult and she needs to take some responsibility.

I think you might have more problems with the sharing chores than getting a financial contribution out of her.

Just be very clear that any money she pays you is for the bills and not for a maid service from you.

Understanding the reality of household finances is very important but so are all the skills necessary for independent living!

Takmon

phill99 wrote: »

If you don't charge your children rent (and a proper rent. not this £30 a week rubbish), you are setting them up to fail. They will not understand how to budget properly and they will not understand the realistic costs of everything. Not only that they will think that all of the money that they have left over is disposable income and will treat it as such. When they move out, they will have some very difficult and hard lessons to learn about financial priorities.

Make them pay a proper rent and you will help them in the long run.

I completely disagree with this. When i was living with my parents i paid an agreed lodge of £30 a week. This is what they suggested and what they were happy with because i already paid for all my own food anyway and £30 a week was more than enough to cover any increase in energy bills by me living there than if it moved out.

If they had decided they wanted more money from me then that would have just meant i had less money to put into my savings for a house deposit, so i don't see how that would have helped me at all?

I was actually better at budgeting than my parents and i knew exactly how much it cost to run a house. I even helped them switch energy suppliers, internet, TV to get the cheapest bills.

If you think simply charging them a high rent will prepare them for when they move out your making a big mistake.

newgirly

I charge my two eighteen year olds 15% of what they recently started earning. They usually cook for themselves and sometimes buy their own food (takeaways!) our Dd is 21 and has nearly finished her degree, she also pays 15% of what she has earned. She still lives at home and cooks for herself, does her own washing etc.

We are hoping to help all three with deposits to move out in the future to boost what they have saved, personally I can’t see the harm in them paying towards the household, they are all perfectly fine doing it and just yesterday one said queried why we don’t ask for more than 15%.

I’m not trying to make money from my children, and like to treat them occasionally, but if they started to excpect it or didn’t want to pay rent I would probably charge them more

FreeBear

Ian_875 wrote: »

If I had to pay say 20% I'd have felt much more comfortable.

Depending on where you live, renting currently consumes around 40% of income in London, falling to 24% in the North East. The national average is somewhere around 30%.