Charging teens rent....

lookstraightahead

Why would any parent not want their kids to be as independent as possible? money isn't the only thing they need as adults. They need a sense of being equal, having pride in what they achieve. They are at work mixing with a whole range of adults, why keep them as a child?

silvercar

lookstraightahead wrote: »

Why would any parent not want their kids to be as independent as possible? ...

You can bring your children up to be independent without taking money off them.

lookstraightahead

silvercar wrote: »

You can bring your children up to be independent without taking money off them.

Yes as children you can teach them to be independent so that when they are adults all that good parenting means they can be. It's nice to feel independent.

need_an_answer

I'm another parent who has never taken a lodging rent from my offspring,but that doesn't mean to say that they are not financially astute and very capable of managing finance for themselves.

I think a lot depends on your situation and attitude to taking the money.If you need a contribution to help with the family finance then I see no problem in asking for one although I do wonder that if the family need the money the "young adult" perhaps would be knowing of this and volunteer to add to the pot.

I don't think there is right or wrong way where this situation comes up,its down to the family to decide if they need funds to be contributed.

What I do believe in is teaching your children the value of money long before they are 16,17 or 18 so they have a good understanding of budgeting.

alrhios

Thanks everyone for your input. When i say 'rent' i obviously mean all in, bills food etc etc.
I'm going to write sown exactly what it costs to live here and divide it up and sit down with her and show here these sums. Ill then look at 'rooms to rent' costs and explain what this doesn't include. I certainly don't want to profit from my child, but unfortunately i'm not like some people and wont be in a position to support her fully. Although shes 18 shes still by little girl i suppose, and i think this is what makes it hard.... when i think back, I was earning around £400 per month (apprenticeship wage) and i gave my mum around £150. As my money increased so did my 'rent'. I think i moaned at the time, but i still went out and ran a car. Oh if i knew then what i know now, id have been very grateful!

need_an_answer

OP … does your daughter want to contribute to the household pot?

Is this suggestion something that is likely to send her spinning off at you or do you see it as an easy conversation to have


I'm not sure if its just how I read your opening post or if you were trying to be flippant but it came across to me a little like you resented her earning money and not paying anything. Is she really "taking the mick?"


I'm just interested to know whats changed between say 2 years ago when she was financially dependant on you and now other than her ability to pay something...have the household bills really gone up that much in that time that you cant manage without a contribution.


Far be it from me to suggest how you parent, but is your daughter the type who will be accepting or challenging of the fact you are now asking?


Hopefully she will understand your words and you will come to an agreement over payment but if she is strong willed be prepared for her to look at your proposals and up sticks and find a shared house for example.

There is a point where we all leave home usually and quite often the catalyst for this can be the realisation that they can afford to maintain their own life away from the family home.

I believe theres no right or wrong way to flee the nest or stay TBH but I do think you need to choose your words very carefully when proposing a payment.the worse thing you can do is show any form of resentment to them having money...

JGB1955

I used to 'charge' my son 10% of his take home pay. And 'Yes', I did keep it in a savings account and gave it back to him when he bought his first house. That seemed perfectly reasonable from our point of view, but I accept others may not agree.

Lokolo

silvercar wrote: »

You can bring your children up to be independent without taking money off them.

I am in agreement with you all the way.

When I came back from university, I took home around £2k a month. I was not charged rent. However it enabled me to save over 50% of my pay in order for me to save up for a deposit to purchase a place of my own.

need_an_answer

JGB1955 wrote: »

I used to 'charge' my son 10% of his take home pay. And 'Yes', I did keep it in a savings account and gave it back to him when he bought his first house. That seemed perfectly reasonable from our point of view, but I accept others may not agree.

That's very close to what my parents did with me,except it came back as a cheque to start married life with.

DeeDee87

When we got full time jobs, we paid £200 a month each, this was in 2006, maybe earning £1000 a month if that, this amount covered everything in food. we paid for own own phones and cars..
when I moved out a couple of years later and had to pay my own bills I soon realised that was such a tiny amount of what my parents were paying.
not long after I had to temporarily move back in with my parents due to someone else's inability to be an adult and manage his money! I said to my parents we should be paying more, so we started paying £350 a month and get our own food too ( we all cooked for the family if we were in, just took turns).
moved out with new bf at the beginning of 2015 and stated to save a deposit to buy our own house while private renting! (hard but can be done even in the south east!)
We bought a 3 bed house at the end of aug 18.
Without learning the real cost of running a household I don't think I could be here in my own place!
most of my friends that thought me paying my parents rent was really mean for them to expect, are still private renting or living at home with their parents. (not that that's a bad thing!)


Teach your kids to stand on their own two feet as early as realistically possible, and teach them the benefit of saving for a house deposit even if they don't want a house yet! they will be in a far better position when they are ready.