Buffy's 30 Month Plan

Sun_Addict

Aye aye So pleased you had fun, not before time :j

beanielou

Buffy is very quiet.
Are you still being naughty:p

Buffythedebtslayer

I wish Beanie, sadly not. God do I wish that. I knew it was just a bit of fun but it did make me realise I would like something real with a real man. Not that he was pretend!! but not a relationship prospect. Just a friend. So sad about it. so very sad.

I went to help a friend out for the rest of the weekend and that was very hard. VERY hard. I think I have helped, but she talks a fair bit about suicide and then says she is fine.......I was exhausted by the end of it. Barely ate a thing and then drove home.

Last night I went out to eat with my old work friends which was lovely, but I am not well today, I barely drank, so it think something I ate has disagreed with me either that or it is the stress of dealing with my friend? Just feel like going back to bed.

I don't know what to do with today. I have a guy coming to look at the window later today. Need to shower for sure!

UGH.

XXX

Buffythedebtslayer

I have showered.

I am now sat on the sofa. Mum has had to go out for dog food. I am afraid I can't move. Maybe later. Might be the end of term collapse I normally get on the first weekend... hmmm.

I need to check my bank account.

The dogs are both asleep. So cute.

beanielou

That is tough to deal with with your friend.

RosaBernicia

Please look after yourself Buffy, even if it means putting boundaries in place with your friend. If you are seriously worried, can you check your perceptions with a mutual friend?

Buffythedebtslayer

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Please look after yourself Buffy, even if it means putting boundaries in place with your friend. If you are seriously worried, can you check your perceptions with a mutual friend?

Essentially about a million years ago we all became friends on forum, but we all had things to overcome - mainly depression - that was mine.

So all our mutual friends all have an illness or actually I don't know them know them.

she has messaged today and was more positive. She is utter wreck tho. I mean if you had told me 6 months after I lost my Dad I would have to move... well I wouldn't have liked it and I am not as unwell as her.

I spoke to a couple of mates who work with mentally ill children and they reminded me that she still had the animals to look after so she should stay stable plus I got an extension on the loan she needed (she can't speak on the phone) and that should relieve the panic.

I have done all I can. Truly I have. And you are right about boundaries.

I do wonder if anything actually good will ever happen. I appreciate that is self pitying but honestly. I am tired and worn down by everything being crap constantly.

RosaBernicia

Something good did happen - you had an excellent time with the crush which proves he likes you and as you said, you can have immense amounts of fun. And you started your HTB account which is a baby step to new things.

I'm glad you reached out to check and that you know you have done what you can. Please give yourself a break and something good, even if it's an hour in the bath or dog cuddles with the phone off.

I know it's zeal of a convert and I've said it before, but have you looked at getting some counselling? My boundaries are rather better than they were six months ago, including around friends with major anxiety issues and parents.


Rosa xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Don't get me wrong the crush was great but ultimately not a good thing. IT was fun but not good long term. In the cold light of day blah blah blah. can't be bothered.

But you are right about the H2B and I have started yoga, planning a holiday with a mate. small steps.

I just think I am worn down, not just by recent stuff. I came home yesterday and sobbed and all mum could do was criticise me for getting involved with helping my friend. And crying.

I never cry. Unless I am in the shower or my car. Increasingly I have had not had privacy here as things with my sister have taken over. And to have her criticise me was just too much frankly. !!!! off.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Thanks Rosa XXX I do really appreciate the support. XX

Scott-Weiland

Your mum sounds supportive not. Sorry your having a poor time.