I would like to ask people’s opinions on my fathers death.

Keep_pedalling

Mrstephen wrote: »

the Two things that really bother me are the fact she didn’t phone an ambulance until the 5th day after my Dad turned yellow. She also didn’t mention to the Dr that he was bleeding internally for 2 days.
Thanks Am I right to feel suspicious?

Was your father to far out of it to do those things himself?

Truth is unfortunately your father drank himself to death, and failed to look after his children’s interests by making a will. His wife should have acted, but alcoholics are not the most reliable of people and it would be impossible to prove that she deliberately held information back to hastened his death.

Robin9

Medically I believe the authorities thought there was nothing suspicious about his death.

For my MIL's cremation two doctors had to confirm death. Additionally before the certificate can be released I also had to make a declaration that I had no suspicions as regards inadequate care by her doctors or her carers.

Faith177

Mrstephen wrote: »

the Two things that really bother me are the fact she didn’t phone an ambulance until the 5th day after my Dad turned yellow. She also didn’t mention to the Dr that he was bleeding internally for 2 days.
Thanks Am I right to feel suspicious?

If he was anything like my husband maybe he refused to accept help and told her not to call.


By what you said about your dad in hospital it seems he would have been capable of telling the doctors himself

Dox

Mrstephen wrote: »

I’m trying to see if I’m justified in going to the police to have her investigated. Essentially.

No. They aren't going to waste resources on investigating something where no crime has been committed - and by your own admission your are (quite understandably) biased.

Alcoholics are unreliable and often untruthful. It goes with the territory. Concentrate on getting the estate sorted out - perhaps by applying for letters of administration yourself?

Maybe instead of conversing in a forum with a bunch of strangers, you would find more solace by talking to those who know you and possibly your father and stepmother?

Mrstephen

Just to clear things up. My dads wife has already applied for letters of administration. The estate is ready to be distributed. Which I thought was fast.
The reason why I’m on here asking strangers is because anyone I speak to about his wife’s behaviour leading up to, during and after my Dad’s death, I always get the same response.
Which is different from the responses on here. I have found people’s responses on here very constructive. Like I said, I have a biased opinion. So it’s good to hear other people’s unbiased opinions.
So maybe she’s just a money grabber at the end of the day. Hence why she has left a lot out of the estates evaluation.

paddy's_mum

Be careful. Your loathing and prejudice are showing.

Ever heard of a little thing called libel/slander?

Whatever your feelings about the lady, she is his lawful wife and frankly, if the Registrar who so recently married them had no doubts about their lucidity, perhaps you are very wide of the mark.

Clearly they happily inhabited their own little alcoholic haze - if the boot had been on the other foot and she died, would you be happy with her family insinuating that your father was more or less a murderer?

I believe you are on ground that is very dodgy indeed and might be well advised to seek the advice of a solicitor where at least your assertions and suspicions remain confidential.

SevenOfNine

Unfortunately, there is often a level of greed amongst family members when someone dies, not something I can grasp myself but we see it all the time on here.

She's entitled to all the personal possessions & property of the deceased, first £250k & 1/2 of remaining £££ (& anything that was in joint names).

If you feel she's undervalued the estate considerably, you could consider employing the services of a solicitor specialising in contentious will/administration of estate cases.

Just be mindful that if they say the words "no win, no fee" that isn't the same as having no costs awarded against you should you be completely wrong about the undervaluing of the estate.

Perhaps you could ask her for her breakdown of the valuations, then point out what she has omitted to account for (bank etc, assuming they were not in joint names). Try to play nice, however much it sticks in your throat.

74jax

I'm not sure why she is a money grabber?

She was his wife, he chose not to make a will. She inherits. She is following the law, everyone who inherits isn't a money grabber.

It sounds like your dad didn't want help. He needed convincing to go to hospital. You don't know if every day she told him to go. And every day he told her no.

He was an alcoholic and she may well have been drunk at the time too.

Kynthia

You Dad was capable of going to the hospital himself when he became jaundiced and was capable of telling the nurses/doctors about his bleeding. He was responsible for his own actions but you want his wife to be.

She's offered you all access to items of your dad's and is trying to sort things. She didn't want the dogs, asked people to take them, even offered to pay for their care, but put them down as they were sick and no one would take them. She might not be great at administering an estate, but lots of people aren't as it's usually something people have never done before. So nothing jumps out as terrible here.

Ask about the cars and accounts. Could the accounts be empty as your dad had spent everything or are they in joint names? Perhaps when the firm asks about assets she thinks about property and doesn't realise cash and cars are assets? Perhaps she forgot about the cars or thought they weren't worth anything?

Pun

You seem to be so hung up on your own feelings that you've overlooked something: your stepmother has lost her husband. Maybe try a little compassion?