I want it all...and I want it now..

BalanceBy50

Hello dear neglected diary,
Well what a 3 months it has been! I think I stopped posting because cashflow at work was so rubbish and I was going to get a rubbish salary in May and I just didn't know how i was going to cope so I buried my head in the sand and this seemed to lead to a chain of events which almost tipped me over the edge!
The negative stuff!
- Rubbish salary in May
- Couldn't afford to pay the mortgage in May
- Deciding not to go on holiday (5 days in a caravan) as couldn't really afford to pay the balance of £450 - thought we would only lose the balance of £25.
- Getting a letter from holiday company saying we had taken advantage of a special deposit offer and even though we weren't going we need to pay £105 :eek: We wished we'd scraped the money together to go after all but it was too late,
- Getting a letter from the bank saying we were no longer eligible for our overdraft - we lived in it and owed £800. I had no way of paying this so we had to set up a payment arrangement which would have led to markers on my credit file and as our defaults start dropping off in 2 years I wanted to keep it as clean as I could.
- Then we were burgled :mad:we are insured but someone still came into my house and stole my things and all the money we had. We had a £350 excess and were only covered for £250 cash and we had about £900 in the house which wasn't all ours. So we were going to lose out by quite a lot.
- Its the school holidays - an expensive time! :eek: I need to pay more in childcare so I can work, I need to entertain the children more and even free stuff ends up costing somehow, my youngest starts school in September so I need to sort uniforms and shoes out for both boys. Their primary school is quite strict and there has to be logo's on everything.
- I thought my car need a new tyre - it needed 4 and the brakes doing.
- I carried on putting weight on and am now morbidly obese and the heaviest I have ever been I have very few clothes that fit me and can't afford to buy new.

However there is some good stuff
- The insurance company paid out in cash for all my jewellery I had stolen. I took a 25% hit on getting cash rather than having replacement jewellery. DH and I discussed it and as the majority sat in my jewellery box (they dropped his wedding ring on the kitchen floor and didn't find my engagement ring and that's all I really care about) we thought this was best for us. We divided up the money as such:
- We paid May's mortgage payment and our overdraft off and down graded our bank account to a free one. Took out separate policies for travel insurance and breakdown cover (still cheaper overall than what our bank a/c covered!). We are about £30 a month better off now
- I have put £300 aside to replace my purse, bag and buy a chain and bracelet. I am sad I have lost jewellery that belonged to my nan and gran but these can't ever be replaced but I would like something to wear as I lost everything bar my wedding ring, my fitbit and a pair of earrings I was wearing. Once boys are back at school I will treat myself to a shopping day.
- We had a caravan break - it cost us more than our original holiday would have done but we had a break and some quality time together.
- I have taken Honeysucklelous advice and I am in the process of opening a NS&I bank account with a balance of £1000. I will set up a SO of £10 a week to this so this is our emergency fund. I am aiming for £10k. I want to know we are safe as a family for 3-6 months if anything happens workwise to me or DH. It can also be used for F&F DMP offers.
- I gave my friend £400 which I think was in our 2 savings tins (Christmas and October half term costs)
- the rest has been put aside to make our home more secure. A new front and kitchen door, blinds for the windows at the front - we have huge wide windows and people can really see in and see if anyone is about. A wireless burglar alarm.
- other good stuff - DH's car had a slow puncture and I thought it needed replacing however it was repaired for £12.
- a discussion with my business partner about lowering our monthly pay. I find it hard to plan as I don't know till a couple of days before payday what I will get making it difficult to plan. I need to make a couple of hundred quid each month on my side hustles but this is doable.
- reading other peoples diaries and having a word with myself. My older son is really gentle on his clothes and all his school trousers/shorts are in great condition. These will be fine for my younger son and he knows no difference. Therefore I don't have as much school uniform to buy as initially thought. I have made a list and am sticking to it! My mum did make me feel bad about DS2 not having new - wish I had been a bit quicker and told her to contribute rather than buying toys, magazines and plastic tat for them all the time, She is great and I love her dearly but she always wants to please the boys rather than practical support. I was also very taken with a debate on jwills diary about textile recycling and these clothes are in fab condition. He always gets new underwear and shoes and isn't aware he has his brothers clothes.
- the support on this forum. I have been a little lost but I have kept reading other peoples diaries, they are so inspirational and I haven't given up.
- my childcare bill will be less each month now DS2 is starting school

I need to be more accountable to myself and anyone who cares. My next steps are a full financial audit to see where I am and what needs to be done. I will do it this week and update and get back to regular postings. Life will be much easier once school starts again however DS2 has two weeks of half days when he starts - not easy for working parents!

xx

PS a very rare MSE :money: date night with DH tonight. We are off to the cinema with a meerkat code, own drinks and snacks for the grand total of £5!

Chrystal

Sounds as though things have been dire. (((hugs)))

On the plus side, (excluding the emotional loss of irreplaceable items) your finances seem to be in a much better place now, which has hopefully lifted pressure off you.

Re uniforms: there is no way I'd buy new uniform when it's not necessary. I'd imagine 95% of parents pass down 'good' clothes to the next child. And tell your Mum to stop buying 'nasty plastic' which is damaging the to the environment and/or that you're trying to declutter rubbish and need her to stop filling your house with it!

Seriously, you sound as though you've found your Mojo again, and long may it last. X

PS Hope you enjoy your date nite

BalanceBy50

Chrystal wrote: »

Sounds as though things have been dire. (((hugs)))

On the plus side, (excluding the emotional loss of irreplaceable items) your finances seem to be in a much better place now, which has hopefully lifted pressure off you.

Re uniforms: there is no way I'd buy new uniform when it's not necessary. I'd imagine 95% of parents pass down 'good' clothes to the next child. And tell your Mum to stop buying 'nasty plastic' which is damaging the to the environment and/or that you're trying to declutter rubbish and need her to stop filling your house with it!

Seriously, you sound as though you've found your Mojo again, and long may it last. X

PS Hope you enjoy your date nite

Thank you for your lovely comments Chrystal. I feel in a much better place and intend to keep in top of stuff! Ha ha regarding mum she is definitely a quantity over quality type of person and gets really cross with me for sending stuff she has bought me/us to the charity shop :cool: I just can't win with her.

Date night was good - went to see Blinded by the Light - very thought provoking and really opened my eyes to the racism of the 80's. I really cringed at parts of the film xx

Sunshine_girl2

What a terrible time BB50 , I hope you are on the better side now. I have 2 grandchildren, I always buy my grandsons uniform or shoes for the new year. I tend to buy very few toys for them during the year . I kept a lot of my own children's stuff for them. I know my daughter appreciates the clothes far more than toys. However we are all different, so no one way is right.

Let's hope the rest of the year is a better one for you.

BalanceBy50

Sunshine_girl2 wrote: »

What a terrible time BB50 , I hope you are on the better side now. I have 2 grandchildren, I always buy my grandsons uniform or shoes for the new year. I tend to buy very few toys for them during the year . I kept a lot of my own children's stuff for them. I know my daughter appreciates the clothes far more than toys. However we are all different, so no one way is right.

Let's hope the rest of the year is a better one for you.

Thank you Sunshine Girl - i am sure the rest of the year can't be any worse.
I feel really mean about the comments I have made about my mum. She is a good mum and a fantastic granny - she adores my boys and in turn they adore her. Its hard as no one knows the extent of our debt problems but if she did she would be very critical and judgemental of anything I spent money on - whatever I do with my mum I can't win!

xx

Sun_Addict

What a tough time you've had. I've been burgled twice in the past and know how awful it makes you feel. All the other stuff going on too Glad to see you back posting and getting back on your feet though, the only way is up from now on

BalanceBy50

You are right SA and I have a five year for plan in my head. I want to get it on paper with actions and targets! X

Eyebright

Just read through your diary, I'm so sorry to hear about the burglary,and hoping that things settle down for you now. You've been doing so well, keep going, you've got this! :heart2:

Will subscribe

BalanceBy50

Eyebright wrote: »

Just read through your diary, I'm so sorry to hear about the burglary,and hoping that things settle down for you now. You've been doing so well, keep going, you've got this! :heart2:

Will subscribe

Thanks Then right - pressure is on to keep posting! . Do you have a diary? Xx

BalanceBy50

So I sat down this morning and did some calculations for this month and for once I feel on an even keel! My financial month starts on the 21st when I get paid as DH gets paid weekly. I have worked out our finances and we have enough to cover everything with a £150 left at the end of the month. I need to bring in £250 in side hustles to help with fluctuations but this should not be a problem. The only thing that could derail this is my car service and MOT next week. I think this will be about £300 and part of it can be paid from the months surplus and £50 from the car account but I will still need to find £100 or so.

Targets
Side Hustles £0/£250
Weekend Spends £0/£200
School uniform/shoes £0/£100
Car Service/MOT £0/£300

My lovely in-laws have paid for us to go away this weekend but only accommodation which was a great idea back in May when suggested but now it has come to it I need to find money to feed and entertain us. Money for this weekend and school uniform has been accounted for but I want to stay in budget therefore it's a target

I want to form new habits around money and health so each week I am setting a new habit to achieve:

Money - stay within budget. If I have to borrow from another pot it is noted and repaid but this is only in emergencies.

Health - drink 2 litres of water a day and only have 3 coffees a day.

Xx