Divorce and the house

neneromanova

Or Option 3: Sell the house. 400k-65k = 335k / 2 = 167500 each.



That is £167.5k to either buy a new place with or use for Renting another place. WHich is a lot of money.



Her keeping the house just seems like she wins and you walk away with nothing really. Yeah ok you could be putting £700 away each month, but what are the actual chances of you doing that. Realistically. but who's to say that the house isn't worth more in 5 years time. then she has to find more money that more than likely won't be there to split it equally.



And when she gets a new love interest (and she will) then the dynamics will change even more then as if he's paying something in the house then technically he could claim some of the house.


Sell the house and both start a fresh. You pay child support to support your children, the older 2 are old enough to get a job and support themselves now and will probably be looking to move out and spread their wings.

Comms69

Accountant_Kerry wrote: »

I don't believe there is any suggestion of the OP not supporting his children, in effect he is talking about various ways to discharge the wife's liability on the capital assets via a monthly payment to him, offset by the payments he would make for maintenance. Complicated but logical. - It's morally very questionable. The OP could get a new job earning 2 or 3 times the amount he does now.

Regarding your views on benefits it would not be 'you' paying for the OPs kids home. - Well actually it absolutely is. Alongside millions of others.

Regardless of the OPs payments or lack of it would make no difference anyway as child maintenance doesn't impact benefits and the majority of benefits mentioned are in relation to the OPs SN son in any case.

Yes child maintenance doesn't impact benefits. I am aware of this.

Accountant_Kerry

Comms,
Not sure how its morally questionable as the overall result is the same, albeit complicated and probably unnecessary.

You are not being realistic if you think that without significant upskilling that anyone can double or treble their wage. To go from £500 a week take home to £1500 is highly unlikely if not impossible and you would then be on a six figure salary, something out of the reach of 99% of society so that's just completely unrealistic.

Everyone pays into a system and everyone draws out in one way or another so in effect I could say I am paying for your state pension or public services, but in reality its far more complicated than that.

Comms69

Accountant_Kerry wrote: »

Comms,
Not sure how its morally questionable as the overall result is the same, albeit complicated and probably unnecessary.

You are not being realistic if you think that without significant upskilling that anyone can double or treble their wage. To go from £500 a week take home to £1500 is highly unlikely if not impossible and you would then be on a six figure salary, something out of the reach of 99% of society so that's just completely unrealistic. - It's no unrealistic at all; even using your rather simplistic number of 99%, figure leave 600,000 people. Now I don't claim that to be an accurate figure, simply responding to your suggestion that people will never better themselves.

Everyone pays into a system and everyone draws out in one way or another so in effect I could say I am paying for your state pension or public services, but in reality its far more complicated than that.

Indeed you are. terrible isn't it.

Accountant_Kerry

Comms69 wrote: »

Indeed you are. terrible isn't it.

My point, is 'significant upskilling' which doesnt tend to happen overnight. although if you can tell me of a job where I could treble my wage overnight all advice greatly received :beer:

Comms69

Accountant_Kerry wrote: »

My point, is 'significant upskilling' which doesnt tend to happen overnight. although if you can tell me of a job where I could treble my wage overnight all advice greatly received :beer:

It obviously depends on a huge number of factors; and overnight isn't as likely (though plenty of premiership footballers would disagree with me)


But the potential for quick progression exists in all industries

Accountant_Kerry

Comms69 wrote: »

It obviously depends on a huge number of factors; and overnight isn't as likely (though plenty of premiership footballers would disagree with me)


But the potential for quick progression exists in all industries

unfortunately I think being a premiership footballer is beyond me :rotfl:

billy2shots

Your son with mild learning disabilities will change from child to adult services at 18 so I'm not sure where the education until 25 comes from.
He will also receive benefits PiP or ESA from 18 and your ex will be entitled to carers allowance.
I think you are being hoodwinked into paying until he is 25. If you want to then that's fine but he will receive his own money long before then.

kangoora

Looks like you are getting mugged, albeit by letter/legal agreement. Also the agreement writer appears to be playing on your sensitivity for your children.

You've already been paying the mortgage for 5 years in lieu of child maintenance. If mortgage is £708, less, say £300 for CM, you've already paid nigh on £25k over the last 5 years alone towards an asset, if they get their way, you will have no entitlement to.

Both options give you nothing (or virtually nothing) in relation to a £400k asset, that could conceivably be worth £600k in 9 years time depending on how house prices turn out. How much has your house gone up by in the last 9 years?

I agree with the above posters, put everything in the pot - savings, pensions, HOUSE - divide by 2 and make a fresh start. You can then pay any CM you are legally obliged to and, if you wish, contribute extra - totally up to you. You may have to wait until the youngest is 18.

What I would not do is sign away my rights to a half of (potentially) half a million quid asset to save £72k - £85k

if her family can afford to help her pay a £700 mortgage plus any other expenses then surely they can afford to help her out with a different house when she has, at least, a £167k deposit.

I assume this has to be a pretty large house (4 or 5 bedroom?), eventually the children will all move out with the possible exception of the special needs child. Why on earth would a person want a 4/5 bedroom house for just 2 of them - more likely is it will be sold (no matter what she is saying now) and a nice 3 bed bungalow or similar would be bought with plenty of cash in the bank left.

Finally, the family can help her out if you don't pay the mortgage - so why on earth are you still paying the mortgage and not just what you are required to pay. Let her family help her out now instead of just when a big payday is on the horizon. Obviously, if you WANT to pay extra that is your privilege - seems to me she is living rent free in a big house whilst working and claiming benefits - nice if you can get it........

See a solicitor

kingfisherblue

You really do need to take legal advice.


My son has significant special needs. In addition to his severe learning disability, he has physical disabilities. I too believed that he would be in education until he is 25, but despite his needs, his education finishes this year when he is 21. To continue in education, there has to be a college with SEN provision in your area that takes young people up to 25, and the young person has to make significant enough progress for them to offer another year (repeating a year is not an option due to funding constraints). So although you may believe that he will stay in education until age 25, it is likely to be a lower age (I have yet to meet someone in education until 25).



You also need to bear in mind that your wife can push for child maintenance at the correct rate, which will be more than £220 a month based on your income. Your outgoings will not be taken into consideration. Even if things are amicable now, they may not be in the future.


Your wife might lose her Carer's Allowance if your son does not qualify for PIP when he turns 16. It has different criteria to DLA, and is by no means guaranteed, especially as you describe your son's special needs as mild.