Boyfriend not wanting to move in due to money?

Aggie_88

We're both in our early 30's, I own a flat, he rents with a friend. He's also a contractor (I'm not!). We've been together for a year, he's been staying at mine probably 95% of the time for the past 6 months. So I thought it would be the time to move in together, like officially all his stuff at mine etc.
But he said no, because renting saves him money as he can deduct it from tax ? ( something about being in UK only for the contracted job, I don't understand the rules really). This just doesn't sit right with me, I was pretty confident we'll be together "for ever" but if he doesn't want to move in because of this I'm just not sure anymore.

Am I being unreasonable here? I know it saves him some money but I feel like he earns enough to have a house/rent expense, others on the same contract do it.

Just to be clear, he doesn't contribute to my bills/mortgage etc now, I would expect him to pay few £100 to cover part of the bills if he moved in.

PasturesNew

He's just not that into you. If he were keen then all other thoughts would go out of the window.

Also, a year's no time at all. No time at all. You "hardly really know each other" to be honest.

74jax

Aggie_88 wrote: »

We're both in our early 30's, I own a flat, he rents with a friend. He's also a contractor (I'm not!). We've been together for a year, he's been staying at mine probably 95% of the time for the past 6 months. So I thought it would be the time to move in together, like officially all his stuff at mine etc.
But he said no, because renting saves him money as he can deduct it from tax ? ( something about being in UK only for the contracted job, I don't understand the rules really). This just doesn't sit right with me, I was pretty confident we'll be together "for ever" but if he doesn't want to move in because of this I'm just not sure anymore.

Am I being unreasonable here? I know it saves him some money but I feel like he earns enough to have a house/rent expense, others on the same contract do it.

Just to be clear, he doesn't contribute to my bills/mortgage etc now, I would expect him to pay few £100 to cover part of the bills if he moved in.

Are you being unreasonable how? What are you doing? Demanding he moves in, then yes you are. Being upset, then not as much as you really want to and he doesn't, so I understand that.

It's a year. You have him over so much, why don't you stop that and both be a little more independent and 'date'. It seems you have gone to the 'comphy' stage really quick.

Tahlullah

I'm with Patures on this one. He should be jumping at the opportunity. Sounds more like friends with benefits, and he is getting all the benefit. He would effectively be renting from you so what would be the disadvantage to him? Just not that into you.

Mojisola

Aggie_88 wrote: »

We're both in our early 30's, I own a flat, he rents with a friend. He's also a contractor (I'm not!). We've been together for a year, he's been staying at mine probably 95% of the time for the past 6 months.

So I thought it would be the time to move in together, like officially all his stuff at mine etc.

But he said no, because renting saves him money as he can deduct it from tax ?

Just to be clear, he doesn't contribute to my bills/mortgage etc now, I would expect him to pay few £100 to cover part of the bills if he moved in.

So he claims the rent he's paying his friend back on his tax claim and lives for free 95% of the time at your house - why would he want to change his position?

If he's spending that much time with you and hasn't offered something towards the household costs, are you sure he's really the one you want to spend your life with?

getmore4less

That renting somewhere saves me money sounds like BS unless he is on a tax fiddle.

comeandgo

I think if he is able to claim his rent as tax deductible then he has another property somewhere to keep. He is just in the area short term for work or contract he is on.
Are you sure he is not married? It used to really surprise me the number of our employees who when away short term hooked up with someone, They were married and the relationship stopped when they the work finished.

Grumpelstiltskin

' He stays with me 95% of the time' He doesn't contribute to the bills '

I agree with the others, he is taking you for a ride, he will drop you when it suits him, you must have doormat printed across your forehead.

DUTR

comeandgo wrote: »

I think if he is able to claim his rent as tax deductible then he has another property somewhere to keep. He is just in the area short term for work or contract he is on.
Are you sure he is not married? It used to really surprise me the number of our employees who when away short term hooked up with someone, They were married and the relationship stopped when they the work finished.

Oh you conspiracist you lol, but yes , there are many reasons why he cannot / will not move in.
PasturesNew's reply covered both aspects.

Keep_pedalling

100% BS if he pays say £1000 a month rent and offsets that against 40% in tax he is still paying net £600, so moving in with you would save him money.

bap98189

He doesn't want to move in with you and nobody here can tell you why. You need to have that conversation with him. However, the reason he gave you is utter rubbish. Even is he is using rent as a business expense, he is still paying out money as no tax is levelled at 100%.