Direct cremations

pickledonionspaceraider

Hi all,

Direct cremations. Has anyone had any experience of these?

Maybe a loved one, opted for that type of exit, as their final wish? How did you feel about it?
Would you have preferred to chance to grieve, or do you think this option is easier on those you leave behind?

Thank you x

Dymphna60

Cremation is only the disposal of physical remains. It doesn’t mean that those you leave behind can’t gather together to mourn/ celebrate your life .
When arranging my partner’s funeral last year I opted for direct cremation as it is a good distance to the nearest crematorium.
I was then free to arrange a memorial service where he had lived so much easier for most people to attend.
If you are writing it in your will remember you are dead you don’t care so maybe indicate your wishes . I would like to be buried / cremated ect but surely I forbid you spend a penny more than necessary is as much as a burden as I want a horse drawn carriage and professional mourners?

chesky

I want a direct cremation too but I'm not 100% sure how to go about it. My family are sort of OK with it, though they think it's a bit weird. I trust them to go ahead with it but I suppose I should point them in the right direction as they won't have a clue.

Yorkshireman99

Dymphna60 wrote: »

Cremation is only the disposal of physical remains. It doesn’t mean that those you leave behind can’t gather together to mourn/ celebrate your life .
When arranging my partner’s funeral last year I opted for direct cremation as it is a good distance to the nearest crematorium.
I was then free to arrange a memorial service where he had lived so much easier for most people to attend.
If you are writing it in your will remember you are dead you don’t care so maybe indicate your wishes . I would like to be buried / cremated ect but surely I forbid you spend a penny more than necessary is as much as a burden as I want a horse drawn carriage and professional mourners?

I beg to differ! The wishes of the deceased should be followed as far as is possible. Other aspects of a will are intended to be followed exactly so why not the funeral arrangements. The important thing is to discuss it with your family in plenty of time.

Mojisola

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

Direct cremations. Has anyone had any experience of these?

Would you have preferred to chance to grieve, or do you think this option is easier on those you leave behind?

If the deceased wanted a direct cremation, that doesn't stop those left behind arranging some kind of memorial. It can be easier to arrange than a wake following a funeral service because the timing isn't restricted by whatever times are available at the crem.

borkid

I was actually thinking of a direct cremation then sometime later, when friends can manage it, having a concert to celebrate the music in my life. It would probably be a Saturday so that it would be easier for poeple to get time off work.

Flugelhorn

I arranged direct cremation when my mother died then we arranged a memorial service (and interred the ashes) on a Saturday afternoon a few weeks later. Having the two events at different times made it easier to arrange and also easier for people to travel at weekends and with more notice etc

Dymphna60

YM99 - did I say disregard the instructions in someone’s will?
I said when you make your will consider allowing some flexibility for those you leave behind. Why would I want to impose harsh restrictions on my daughter from beyond the grave ? I love her. She knows what I like .
If I was going to my funeral I would like a cosy pub or a pretty tea room. But I won’t be there cause I am dead . So if the money is available and spending it on filling a church with white lilies and singing Avia Maria makes her feel better why would I forbid her ?

victor2

Initially, I would put myself in the "I'm dead and don't care" camp, so have a direct cremation and then a wake at a convenient date for everyone.
However, arranging a gathering of any size is invarably a frustrating experience trying to please as many people as possible. A funeral has something more fixed about it. If you're invited to a funeral, you will do your best to attend, assuming you want to, rather than say it's inconvenient for you and suggest a different date.

Mojisola

victor2 wrote: »

If you're invited to a funeral, you will do your best to attend, assuming you want to, rather than say it's inconvenient for you and suggest a different date.

Do you really do that if you're invited to, for example, a wedding anniversary do or a significant birthday celebration?

I've never had invitees do that!

Gers

https://www.barkerevanslaw.co.uk/2016/05/who-owns-your-body-when-you-die/?cli_action=1548607543.276

Disputes about funeral arrangements

The courts have on a number of occasions been asked to intervene in disputes about the disposal of a body. In finding solutions to those problems they have laid down legal principles about funeral wishes.

In the case of Williams v Williams (1882) the court had to decide whether a deceased man’s wish to be cremated was binding on his executors. The deceased man died at a time when cremation was not legal in England and Wales.

The man left instructions in his Will that his body was to be ‘given’ to Miss Williams and he instructed her to burn his body under a pile of logs and place the ashes in a Wedgewood jar. His executors ignored the deceased’s wishes and his body was buried instead. Miss Williams had the body exhumed and sent to Italy for cremation. She then tried to claim the expenses of the cremation from the deceased man’s executors. They refused.

The court decided that it is not possible to ‘give’ a body to anyone because a corpse can’t be owned. As a result, the court decided the executors could ignore the deceased man’s wishes and did not have to pay for the expense of the cremation.
Funeral wishes

In more recent times the courts have taken a rather different view about funeral wishes.

The legal issues surrounding the question of who owns your body when you die was considered in Valerie Anstey – v – (1) Sonia Mundle (2) Cynthia Allison (2016).

In the Anstey v Mundle case the court was asked to consider the right to arrange a burial. The case involved the family of a man who had originated from Jamaica. His last visit there had been in 1998. His Will stated that he wished to be buried in Jamaica next to his mother. The UK court concluded that the relevant factors were:

• The deceased had maintained close connections with family in Jamaica who wanted him buried there;
• he had expressed his wishes in his Will;
• the country he was most closely connected with;
• the reasonable wishes of family and friends.

The court’s conclusion was that the body of the deceased should be released to a niece in Jamaica for burial there.