Should we move area? -Advice please

lieutenant_dan

Kent is as expensive as places like Surrey in some parts, such as Bromley, Beckenham and Orpington. Because it is an easy commute to London from there.

But the further out you go, Canterbury, and towards the coast in Folkestone, Chatham etc, it is much cheaper, but more of a trek to London if you work there.

affordmylife

I appreciate that a mum should be at home with her baby - I agree with that in prinicipal but it isnt always possible.

Each person will have their own opinion but personally why would you or your wife want to live in the place you are now as you describe it.

I dont think you have much choice. Move to the expensive area 5 - 10 mins away from her family. Cut you costs in other areas of your life and its possible. Plus you will be in the right place for good schools etc in the future. Your work may improve in the future either promotion or pay rise.

Or perhaps a couple of years down the line your wife may decide to return to work easing the financial burden.

GarethK

If it were possible to cut down further, we would! I owe about 20k so have to make payments for that, and we do count the pennies when we shop etc.

It wasnt a case of wanting to live in this house, it was more we *had* to because we moved from Norwich and had a month of me starting my new job until we found another place as we were staying at her mum's which wasnt nice.

I think when you earn 1k a month and pay out £650 a month in the house, plus the bills and debts, your already scraping the barrel, alot of people are in the same boat. Rathe than rely on benefits like some people have to, or chose to, i want to make sure we are not in a worse case scenerio and if we do get some help, it will only be a little.

A lot of landlords wont take you on because of DSS so i want to widen our choice when it comes to what we can find.

GarethK

Still trying to convince her, albeit slowly!

Time is running out for us here, we had the 21 weeks scan today which showed we are having a baby boy which is great, but it makes you realise even more that there is such little time left if we intend to move our before our baby gets here.

We have looked at all different places, but all involve travelling to her mum's to some degree, and the places are still £200 more than we can afford unless we claim, but i would rather not rely on this.

She wants to leave work mid-december aswell which is going to make it very difficult end of the year and into Jan as i start a new job in a couple of weeks and wont get paid until Jan, so everything is against us, sure we will manage though!

Running_Horse

Whereabouts in SEL-Kent are you? There are some good and bad villages in your area.

GarethK

Running_Horse wrote: »

Whereabouts in SEL-Kent are you? There are some good and bad villages in your area.

Place called Swanley, sounds nice, reality is far different!

Running_Horse

Know it well.;) You are right to want to move.

I know nothing about local rents, but if they are linked to house prices have a look at South Darenth/Sutton at Hone, or Longfield/Hartley. All a short train journey from GF's mum.

Avoid Darenth for similar reasons to Swanley.

A_Nice_Englishman

Have you put your details in to www.entitledto.co.uk to see what tax credits you will be entitled once the baby is born and Mum isn't working?

seven-day-weekend

I actually think your girlfriend is being a bit selfish but there is not a lot you can do about that if she won't change her mind. Her priority imho is to the baby and your own little family unit, not living next door to mum, it sounds as though she is not mature enough to be having a relationship, let alone a baby.

That said, I think all you can do is try to compromise on the area.

Please bear in mind that wherever she lives she will get to know loads of people once she has had the baby if she goes to things like parent and baby groups.

Hope it works out for you.

two_sheds_2

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I actually think your girlfriend is being a bit selfish ... she is not mature enough to be having a relationship, let alone a baby..

I don't think anyone is in a position to say this; we don't know the girl. A strong family is important for the upbringing of a baby - an unhappy, isolated mum isn't going to be the best new mother.
I don't have any answers. On paper it looks like you should move nearer to your work, but then again...
I moved from Norfolk to the South East and back again, for work. I realised that family and friend relationships are important... earning lots of money for a bigger house is nice, but you have to consider everything, not just the financial position. I am now looking to move again next year, further away from my family again. I will see less of them, but will try to make it "quality time"

You could always move, try it for a year, then move back if it's terrible?