Adventures of the Boy & Me: Part 3..

Chandelier.

Hello,

Yet another year has passed and now we are into 2019!

2018 was quite a good year for the boy & me, aside from a few wobbles. It was quite an expensive year with everything we had going on but we had lots of adventures and made many memories we can look back on. That is all that matters.

What brings me back here?

I still hold a little debt- not much but it is something I still need to be accountable for. So I guess this is why I am back here and onto part three of our chapter!

My current debt total stands at £270.00 and is on a 0% percent offer until December. I am making more then the minimum payments each month and allowing it just to plod on in the background.

The thing is, there are a few things I would like to treat myself to this year, one being some new pair of spectacles. These sometimes end up expensive due to my prescription and style of frames I need. I will take up the offer of two for one when it comes to purchasing them but I will also shop around. I figure I might add the cost of this onto my credit card and spread the payment out a little whilst I have the current offer.

I have another credit card which I put monthly expenses on and pay in full each month. I earn reward points from this and cash them in for gift vouchers once I have built up a tidy sum! Every little helps .

2019 will be another year of adventures for the boy & me.

The plan is to go travelling around Europe in the summer holidays. The first thing I need to do is book my annual leave and ensure I have enough time off. I am hoping to sort that out in the next few days. I know there is a lot of uncertainty with Brexit happening, so I will hold out on booking anything until things seem a bit clearer! However I shall draw up a rough budget/plan for this trip and see what costs I can expect. I shall be seeking advice from the travel boards on here and I have a good amount of savings to fund this.

Apart from the small amount of debt, I am mostly a saver now. I have a savings diary on another board which I update every so often and keeps me accountable.

I just really need to start watching my pennies and stretch my budget a bit further then I have been doing. It has been quite a busy start to January so far and I need to rein it in a little bit as we are only nine days into the month!

I am currently off work on annual leave and I'm trying to sort out several aspects in my personal life. I have had a tough couple of weeks over the festive period and I need to resume back to normality as much as possible and get back into the routine.

My main focus this year shall be on myself. I plan on doing more for myself then ever before and get myself to where I want to be. This includes the usual losing some weight, getting back to exercising, managing my mental health state and enjoying what free time I have. I will no longer sit back and wait for things to happen, its down to me to choose my own path in life. I'm sure there will be hiccups along the way but past experiences have proved that I am able to pull through.

I am feeling a lot more positive then I have done in a while and want this to continue.

As well as focusing on myself, I will put any extra energy I have into helping the boy learn about the world and environment around us. I want to use the time we have together effectively and teach him things he does not learn at school. He is such a bright little spark and soaks up information like you wouldn't believe it. Together, we make a great team and we will always have each other. That is what matters the most,

So to leave this on a bright note, I would like to wish everyone a happy and healthy 2019 and look forward to catching up on other diaries. You are all welcome to join us on our journeys to creating new adventures and memories!

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like you have a good year planned and are effectively debt free or debt neutral presumably. Exciting plans for travelling. We normally like this but am hesitant this year until we see how Brexit pans out so the only trips we have planned is the New Forest in late Spring/early summer and the Lake District in late summer and a long weekend to London this month.


We do the same as you and use 2 credit cards for the rewards (vouchers on one and cashback on the other) then pay off in full each month.

Chandelier.

Morning,

It's been quite a busy couple of days since I last posted here. I've been trying to minimise spends here and there whilst also keeping us occupied. It's manageable but it's also eye opening to see how much I'm actually spending and on what.

I use a halifax current account for entertainment spends which has £105 left for the rest of the month. This should be doable but I was half hoping that I'd have something left by the end of the month. It depends what we do up until then but I think I'm going to try and cut back where possible and reduce my how often we go out for food. It all stacks up before you know it.

I have £125 left in my Monzo account which I really need to stretch out over the next couple of weeks. This account is used for surplus income and other spends not accounted for. I know where I can cut back for this but it will be pretty hard for me to so given current circumstances. One can only try.

I've booked an eye test for Tuesday and I will then decide whether I shall get glasses from the opticians or maybe online. I'm unsure as I like to try them on and see if they suit my face shape etc. I suppose that's the hard thing about buying online. I'll whack them expenses into my 0% credit card and work out a repayment plan once I know final figures. I'll most likely round the total down and divide up the payments by however many months remaining.

My week of annual leave has sadly come to an end now and it will be back to work for me whilst getting back into a routine. I'm still confused after the festive/new year period so it will be good to get back to normal. To be honest I feel a bit anxious about returning and I'm not sure if my heart is quite in it anymore. I really need to have a long, hard thing about what i want to do and where i want to go. I feel as if I'm stuck at a cross roads. I have a great support network at work but sometimes that's just not the right reason to stay. I'm not challenged enough mentally and each shift has become quite repetitive.

I've finally found out the boys dads/grandparents holiday leave so its given me an idea of when they shall be taking the boy away. I can now plan my leave around that, once my manager is back in work. I'm looking for two weeks off but might see if I can stretch it to three somehow so we have longer to explore.

I was possibly looking at maybe going out with a friend later but I might just cancel. They live quite a distance away and it means factoring in petrol costs as well as others costs as we would most likely be going for food together. I'm just unsure whether to bother, I'm growing quite tired of people. I might revert back to being an introvert for a while.

It's one of my work friends 50th birthday next month. I've had an idea of what I shall buy her so I'll look into it and see what I can find and get a rough cost. This person is a great support at work and always helps out where she can. Usually I'd just put into a collection but I'm going to get her something personal to show my gratitude and appreciation. She is really good at a skill like me so I'll get her something related to that. It's also another work colleagues 50th but I'm not buying them something seperate as I'm not close with them nor do they bring much to the table apart from drama, I'll just pay a couple of quid into a collection and let someone else choose gifts. There just always seems to be collections going on at work, they are neverending. I just figure that I should only buy for who I want to as at the end of the day it's my money and I should be able to pick and choose.

I just need to round up my bank accounts and ensure all payments are up to date. I tend to do this every couple of days and it only takes five minutes to review things.

I'm yet to pay for the boys childcare as the online payment isnt working and there is no other way around it. The school are aware of the issue so at least we are not being penalised for it but it just makes me feel uncomfortable not being up to date and in control of it all.

Another payment due to go out this week will be the cost of the boys new ice skates. This will be quite pricey but I've funds set aside to cover the expense. That will hopefully be sorted on Tuesday if all goes to plan and no further delays.

I think I may be getting an extra payment from another source of income this month which will go towards any added extra expenses. I'm hopeful because this will make me feel a bit better around my current outgoings.

I was talking to a friend today who's financial circumstances are rather poor and they are in a lot of debt, however they choose to fund a lifestyle they just cannot afford. It just kind of made me realise how fortunate I am with the position I'm in and has given me more motivation/determination to save as much as possible for mine and the boys future. We never know what it may hold but I need that safety cushion behind me as a back up, just in case our circumstances change.

I also need to look into some personal circumstances around family matters which may possibly impact my future plans. It could have cost implications and I dont want that. The cons far outweigh the pros and I dont benefit in any way. It was just something left behind in a will. I need proper advice on it if I'm honest before I do anything.

My bank who I have my help to buy isa with rang me the other day asking if I wanted to discuss mortgage and borrowing options. I politely declined but then wondered if I should maybe explore that avenue and just see what I could potentially borrow. It would then give me an idea about what price range I would be looking at and the type of houses I could get for my money.

I need to set myself some goals to keep me on the straight and narrow. I find it my money doesn't have a purpose, I'm more inclined to possibly fritter it away and not keep a close eye on it. I'm kind of caught off guard at times.

The only other things I need to do is sort out my car breakdown renewal quote and maybe have a mini valet done on my car. It needs a good wash and hoover inside and what it would cost me to have it done at a local car wash saves me the stress of doing it myself. I always find washing and cleaning the inside of my car stressful, it's not a job I enjoy doing and would most likely only cost me around £12-£15 to have it done for me. It would also save my time.

I really need to contact my CPN and arrange an appointment with her as I haven't seen nor heard from her for a couple of weeks. I've tried ringing but haven't had any call backs which is frustrating but what more can I do except keep trying?

Anyway, I best get on with my day. There are a few outstanding things to do and I am getting some new furniture for my bedroom which shall give me extra storage.I can get myself organised and then get rid of the old pieces of furniture as they will no longer be needed. I just need a really good declutter.

So that is pretty much it for now. Once I know final figures of the upcoming expenses over the next week or so, I can then draw up a plan and keep myself accountable for everything.

I'm also hoping to set myself some weight loss targets and goals and get back into the routine of going to the gym. My target is to lose around 4lb each month, any extra will be a bonus. I know that I've put on weight but was shocked at how much when I was weighed earlier on in the week. A lot of this is due to the medication I'm on, so I'm keen to get it back off again and regaining control of my health and wellbeing. I want to have a more positive attitude in regards to body image and get my confidence back which will have further potential benefits.

I'll most likely post updates regarding goals and targets alongside my financial updates. It's just another place to keep myself accountable and on the right path.

Hopefully its onwards and upwards from here!

Chandelier.

Evening,

The rest of the weekend went by so quickly! Yesterday was my first day back at work and it really tired me out that I ended up falling asleep earlier then usual.

Today I've been to the opticians and ordered two new pairs of glasses using their two for one offer. I had to pay extra due to the type of lenses I require with my eyesight. The total cost came to £349.00. I put this onto my 0% credit card which has now obviously increased the total debt.

So as of today my total debt is £619.00 across one credit card. I'm going with the idea of paying off a minimum of £30 a month and throwing extra towards it when funds allow and with whatever is left over at the end of the month. There is eleven months left on the promotional period so as long as its paid off by then, I'm not going to worry too much. I have funds elsewhere to cover the cost of the balance should I need to pay it sooner.

I've been totalling up costs of everything in our lives and seeing where I can make cuts.

I thought I'd ask the boys dad if he could pay for one of his extra curricular activities each month. I knew I shouldn't have wasted my breath because the answer was a big fat no. His dad literally pays the minimum he has to and nothing else. I fund all other expenses and his contribution doesn't even touch the sides. We ended up having a huge argument over it all as I've had enough. I do all the running about, day to day activities, days out, buy all essentials he needs and everything else. His dad pays a measly contribution of £160 per month. I know this is more then some pay/receive but he begrudges this already. If I'm honest he pretty much chooses his girlfriend and their champagne lifestyle over time with the boy. He probably sees him for 2/3 hours most weeks and even then he is in a rush to get off to do other things with his girlfriend. They can afford to go away 4-6 times a year yet refuse to pay anything else but the bare minimum. I've had enough and gave him a right mouthful of what I think. Nobody else will say it so he needs to hear it from someone.

So a pretty stressful way to end my day. I've got a headache from it all and to be honest, I just want my bed right now.

I've managed to get myself up to date in regards to childcare payments. The issue with the system has now been resolved and I've paid all the fees in full.

We also picked up the boys new ice skates this afternoon so we will try them out tomorrow and see whether any further adjustments are needed. He is flat footed so the fitting needs to be correct in order to provide the support he needs to do things and prevent types of injury.

I've checked all my banking and updated totals today. I've also been through my credit card accounts to check they are okay and there are no surprise transactions.

I am going to think of ways to possibly increase my income without affecting other areas of my life. I'm not in dire straights and I'm able to save lump sums each month but I fancy a bit of a challenge money wise. I'll have a look at the ideas within the MSE website and the forums. It would be pretty cool to make some extra funds which I would allocate straight towards the credit card alongside my usual payments.

I'm currently at football with the boy but looking forward to going home and getting wrapped up warm for the rest of the evening.

I think I'm going to take a break away from my phone and just totally chill out and gather my thoughts together.

beanielou

Happy shiny new diary

Homegrown0

Welcome back Chandelier, I used to post on your original diary when I was under my old username so it's nice to see your name pop up again.

Sounds like you did the right thing with your sons dad - £160pm really doesn't go far does it? And the fact that he thinks he's already paying too mucjmh/ doing enough is laughable. I don't thinking alone on this one, but I'm glad you aired your thoughts. Even if nothing comes of it, at least I hope it helps you to not bottle up your irritation.

Chandelier.

Evening to all,

Thanks beanie for the happy new diary comment! Here is too another year!

Homegrown, if you are who I think you are (maybe I should PM you to confirm) then welcome back! It was only the other day I was reading through my old diaries and reminisced on the support I received. It was always appreciated!

The saga with the boys dad seems to have been resolved for now. I had a phone call from his dads, dad acting as a mediator for the whole thing. I told him exactly how it is and he agreed with me on many things. The end result is that he shall carry on paying the £160 per month but will also pay for the boys football which is £5 a week. All he had to do was discuss this with me and come to an agreement yet he had to go through his own dad who thankfully supported my argument. The thing is, he needed to hear the truth from someone and every !!!!!foots round him and it's always poor me. He never thinks about what I actually put up with and do for the boy. I wish he was more involved but I can't force him too, that's got to be his choice and it's one he has neglected for a while. Maybe hearing it from his own dad may help matters. We shall see!

I've had a day off today and I went food shopping this morning, I only picked up a couple of things that we needed, mostly fresh items- total amount spent, £20.87.

I also bought the boy some new headphones for his nintendo switch so he can talk to his friends which were £14.99. I looked around and these seemed to be the best deal for what we wanted them for. I've made a deal with the boy that if he does all his homework each night and does some odd jobs here and there that I will reward him with pocket money that he can put towards whatever he wants. I'm thinking £5 per week but that is only if he does all that is asked of him. To be honest, he is really good at most of the things you ask of him but this gives him that extra incentive to work hard.

My friend came round for a quick catch up which was nice as we haven't seen each other for a while. However it kind of reminded me why I sometimes hold myself back. Hes a rather impulsive person and it sometimes rubs off on me and I don't need leading astray, more then what I already am. He is a big spender and is forever getting himself into debt at high rates which does worry me but nothing I do or say will stop him. I can only support him when needed and advise where I can but its him that is in control. He's been insolvent at least twice and doesn't seem to learn from mistakes. What more can I do except nod and listen. We are all different.

I'm currently at ice skating with the boy and its the first time in his new skates. They really need breaking in as he says they are a bit tight so I'm getting him to practice as much as possible and will do over the next few days. Hopefully once they are worn in, he will feel more comfortable. His teacher says he seems much better in them, so fingers crossed! They cost me enough:rotfl:.

I'm working tomorrow so will accumulate a NSD as I'll leave my purse at home and have no further spends. I'll most likely need to put petrol in my car on Friday but I have money within the petrol budget to cover this as I've not filled up yet this month.

I think I'm not going to include expected spends budgeted for within my NSDs such as foodshopping/petrol etc. I shall just account for unexpected spends that come out of my surplus bank account for random things bought here and there. After all there's a reason why I budget for the monthly day to day expenses. Anything aside from that is extra.

I've a few other things left to do such as look for renewal quotes for car breakdown insurance. I'll have a look into that on Friday. Also at some point, I'll look at seeing if my mum can find a cheaper gas/electricity supplier as shes currently on a standard plan which is extortionate each month. I just need her with me when I'm doing it, I reckon I could save her a couple of hundred over the year from what she is already paying.

That's pretty much it for now. I'm still thinking about ways I may increase my income. I may do a couple of mystery shopper type of things on my days off as every little could possibly help and I think it could be fun, get me out the house and possibly free food if I go for them types. I'm wondering if there is an option to get paid to write articles or something along those lines, I quite miss writing essays!

The only other thing that is going on is we are donating the boys old play kitchen which is huge, to a local children's charity that provides holidays for disabled children and their family. They are grateful to receive this and we just need to arrange a time to go and build it up for them. It will be a good experience for the boy to witness, the values of giving to those in different circumstances.

Bye for now!

Chandelier.

Morning,

I've a long shift ahead of me at work today so I'm just gearing myself up for it.

Yesterday, I really fancied a sausage bagel from McDonalds. Instead of succumbing and paying the expensive prices, I went to aldi and bought the ingredients and made my own version which was just as nice, if not tastier! I'm now making myself another one to get me started for the long day ahead.. so pretty MSE in that way .

There are a few collections going round at work which I'll need to contribute to. These annoy me and what annoys me even more is being pestered for it! I don't need reminders and I feel like saying I'm not bothering, I'll buy for who I like. I know it's only a couple of quid here and there but it soon adds up.

All my online banking is sorted and up to date. My monthly spend CC statement is now in and the balance remains in a seperate account, awaiting the pay date.

My 0% balance has been updated to the total sum of £619.00. I might move some money around to pay off £19 to give me round figures.

That's pretty much it really for now. I've sorted out all the boys school letters and need to pay for a school trip for him. It's a while off yet so I'm in no rush but I guess it's better to get it out the way!

Have a great day everyone

[Deleted User]

Hey Chandelier.

Happy new diary to you!

You sound very organised, I am loving your diary.

So happy that things seems to be sorted with the boys dad with regards to the football payment each week. Seems ridiculous that you even need to ask for it but that's the way these days isn't it unfortunately!

Good for you in resisting the temptation to buy that McDonalds breakfast and I totally know what you mean about the cost of eating out and having to reduce that!

I don't have kids but have my nephew and niece and we take them out to eat quite a lot, it is so so expensive and tbh we could probably make sandwiches and take them with us! So much cheaper!

Hope you have a good day at work and will catch up with you later.

Dxxx

Chandelier.

Morning!

Thanks Dolly, I do try to be organised as much as possible. If I wasn't then everything would fall apart and we don't want that.

It's sad that it came to a blow with the boys dad but I'm only doing what's right and things should be fair. I pay out so much a month for the boy to be able to do what he does, his dad should at least chip in for something.

Work ended up pretty busy and hectic today. I've not been enjoying work as much as I used to due to certain member of staff which is just making my life harder. I'm keeping it to myself for the moment but if nothing is sorted then I'll end up saying something myself which I don't want to.

It's been a busy morning so far.. my petrol light came on so I've put £30 in my car which should last until the end of the month. I also picked up a bag of sugar as we somehow ran out- we usually stock up on things like this and coffee.

I've then been to pick up one of my prescriptions and I'm just sat in the pharmacy now, waiting for it to be dispensed.

The plan for the rest of the day is to look up breakdown cover for my car. I'm going to do a price comparison against what I had last year and look at all levels of cover.

The boy has his ice skating lessons later so once he is home from school, I'll get him fed, snack pack made up and head straight there. We will be there for around three hours which always feels like a lifetime but it's all for good reason.

I may possibly be meeting a friend for coffee later but to be honest, I'm not really in the mood for it.

We'll see.

Homegrown0

Sounds like a busy day ahead! At least the three hours that your son is skating, you can try to do something nice - read a book or magazine, get rid of some life admin (not nice, i suppose but would free up some time later?).

Not great news about the work colleague making your life difficult - hopefully it eases up soon or you should absolutely say something.No point in just putting up with it if it's getting you down.