Fake Equity release ?

poppy10_2

Brum2312 wrote: »

I would say my brother is the favorite, but he hasn't benefited from the financially before. Or maybe he has and we aren't aware of it.

In my experience where there is one sibling who earns significantly less than the others, there is a tendency for them to feel resentful (even if the siblings worked hard to get to their position) and for parents to attempt to 'even the score' by secretly subsidising them.
That would be fine if your parents were using their own money but if you are paying the roof over their heads there's no way I'd be happy with this situation. Wash your hands of the whole deal.

lookstraightahead

This equalling up thing is bizarre. I only have one child but I do know parents who compensate for the less financially secure child. Especially where grandchildren are concerned. Or splitting inheritance depending on how many grandchildren there are - my ex's grandmother had £2000 to her name and split it between four grandchildren. That in effect was £1500 to one child and £500 to her other child (3:1). I find that odd as well.

Anyway back to op, let us know how meeting goes.

AnotherJoe

lookstraightahead wrote: »

This equalling up thing is bizarre. I only have one child but I do know parents who compensate for the less financially secure child. Especially where grandchildren are concerned. Or splitting inheritance depending on how many grandchildren there are - my ex's grandmother had £2000 to her name and split it between four grandchildren. That in effect was £1500 to one child and £500 to her other child (3:1). I find that odd as well.

Anyway back to op, let us know how meeting goes.

i find your maths odd



Did she leave the money to grandchildren or children?
If she lent it to grandchildren, then her children dont come into it since she didnt leave anything to them and so didn't split it between her children at all

AdrianC

lookstraightahead wrote: »

This equalling up thing is bizarre. I only have one child but I do know parents who compensate for the less financially secure child. Especially where grandchildren are concerned. Or splitting inheritance depending on how many grandchildren there are - my ex's grandmother had £2000 to her name and split it between four grandchildren. That in effect was £1500 to one child and £500 to her other child (3:1). I find that odd as well.

Anyway back to op, let us know how meeting goes.

AnotherJoe wrote: »

i find your maths odd

Did she leave the money to grandchildren or children?
If she lent it to grandchildren, then her children dont come into it since she didnt leave anything to them and so didn't split it between her children at all

A has two children, M and N.
M has three children, W/X/Y
N has one child, Z

A leaves £500 to each of W/X/Y/Z. You can see how that could be perceived as "£1,500 to M's family, only £500 to N's".

kingstreet

Brum2312 wrote: »

Do you know if it is possible / likely to get an equity release approved for a 25 year old couple with a 90% mortgage between Christmas and new years?
I'm almost certain it isn't possible. They hardly have any equity to release and surely an equity release company wants more than a few % equity to protect themselves in event the value drops

Are you sure you mean equity release? That's a means for the elderly to borrow to increase their standard of living in retirement.

Generally, equity release has become a euphemism for using your home as an ATM. Have they taken a secured loan/second charge to increase their borrowing?

ka7e

I don't think you should be subsidising your parents, especially as their savings may prohibit them from claiming benefits they may be due. But the dynamic of your family is familiar. You and your sister are removed from the day-to-day lives of your parents and brother. You may provide financial support, but I suspect they get company and emotional support from your brother.They are likely to love having their grandchildren nearby and are happy to help improve their home. As your parents age, they will become more dependent on your brother and his family You may be pleased he will be on hand, while you and your sister carry on with your lives.

Mojisola

ka7e wrote: »

You and your sister are removed from the day-to-day lives of your parents and brother. You may provide financial support, but I suspect they get company and emotional support from your brother. They are likely to love having their grandchildren nearby and are happy to help improve their home.

As your parents age, they will become more dependent on your brother and his family You may be pleased he will be on hand, while you and your sister carry on with your lives.

That's by no means certain - there are plenty of families where the favoured child steps back from helping their parents when the need arises - they are used to being helped, not helping back.

[Deleted User]

I have a family with very bad dynamics.

My parents were the same (I was the black sheep of the family, not sure why, my brother was given loads of things and spent frivolously, even down to stealing from an employer but he was the golden boy).

I tried to bring up my kids to know that love, truth, being honorable etc are important. We all have ASD so I don't know how much this is a factor but I have recently had to harden my heart with my older son as he took a very expensive Xmas present when he shouldn't have done (its a bit more complicated than that, some lies involved) while making it clear what he thought of me (it wasn't favourable). He also is not very good at managing money, and I realise I have helped too much, kind of not allowed him to learn lessons he needed to learn and made a rod for my own back at the same time. There is no respect, no knowledge at all of the difficulties I have dealt with at times. At times I wasn't able to eat but I didn't care if he was ok.

So now I don't help at all. In fact we aren't really talking. Not a situation I would have even thought possible a year ago. Very very hard thing to do, but there was little choice. I hate every day that passes but I still don't see I had a choice. I wasn't helping him. I was allowing him to continue to make bad choices. Hardest thing I have ever done. Its the hardest thing every day.

lookstraightahead

AdrianC wrote: »

A has two children, M and N.
M has three children, W/X/Y
N has one child, Z

A leaves £500 to each of W/X/Y/Z. You can see how that could be perceived as "£1,500 to M's family, only £500 to N's".

Thanks yes this

lookstraightahead

AnotherJoe wrote: »

i find your maths odd



Did she leave the money to grandchildren or children?
If she lent it to grandchildren, then her children dont come into it since she didnt leave anything to them and so didn't split it between her children at all

She gave £500 to one child and £1500 to the other, asking that it be given to the grandchildren, if possible.