*sigh* this may take a while

Drawingaline

Glad the younger children made you feel wanted. My youngest made me a card with a lovely poem he had written on it and has been particularly snuggly recently too. I embrace them all as he will think he is too old soon. Also he is very 'you are the best mummy' which really boosts me up. The girl doesn't say stuff like that but she does acknowledge that as parents we have helped her realise her dreams and supported her no matter what. 

EssexHebridean

mark55man said:

children are like pancakes - the first one always turns out a bit different from the others

LOVE this - there's a thought eh! 

savingholmes

I think when you have multiple kids - they all have different experiences of you - and therefore it throws the whole nature versus nurture things right back up in the air. I definitely sleep better if I believe what one says versus the other so feel your pain

ohdearhowdidthathappen

A bit of a gap in posting again! 
First up... thanks SH, moneywhizz, EH, suffolksue and LH
Parenting is a minefield, isn't it?  I genuinely do my best and I'm sure I'm not perfect, but she does judge me harshly (in my opinion anyway!)

ohdearhowdidthathappen

mark55man said:

children are like pancakes - the first one always turns out a bit different from the others

I LOVE this and it will forever be stored in my mind when she's being a moo  

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Thanks HSL and DAL
I guess there's an element of seeing your parents through different eyes as you get older as the naivety wears off and you see they're just ordinary humans  
It took me until my 30s with mine and by then I could see the bigger picture anyway.  Maybe today's generation are more opinionated and judgy (or mine are anyway!)

ohdearhowdidthathappen

savingholmes said:

I think when you have multiple kids - they all have different experiences of you - and therefore it throws the whole nature versus nurture things right back up in the air. I definitely sleep better if I believe what one says versus the other so feel your pain

Very true.  I remember my aunt saying something along the lines of 'by the 3rd child you're bordering on negligent' or something similar (she has 3).  Basically saying you can't keep up your previous high standards the more children you have. 
I'm definitely more chilled with my younger ones, just because I've learned where to pick my battles.  My eldest sees that as favouritism.  Interestingly, DS1 (child 2) thinks being one of the eldest is a perk as they got more undivided attention and are treated as more of an adult that his younger siblings, he rolls his eyes at my eldest and just says she's a tiresome drama queen

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Been a busy couple of weeks.... I've handed my notice in at work.  They pushed too far and I'm done, I have a 3 month notice period so I finish at the beginning of July.  I was interviewing around the time and got a few interesting offers and just decided to go for it. 
The role I've gone for, I'll be working for a private firm, a mix of training/audit/clinical based on my current field.  I've had to increase my hours, but it's home based and I'll be able to arrange my own diary for clinical visits/training others (so they say - after years of NHS, I'll believe it when I see it).
It's been coming a while, my current trust is much MUCH better than the previous one and my line manager is lovely.  But the lists and the constant pressure from above... nope.  
Without naming my exact profession so it doesn't come up in searches, I scan 0b$ & gyn@e.... 0b$ has been pretty well protected during c0vid for obvious reasons but the backlog for gyn@e is truly appalling and bordering on negligent. 
I was tempted by an offer from a manufacturer for apps specialist and toyed with the idea of locuming (the wages are amazing) but I think this new role is a good fit and I've realised that no job is forever and if I've made a mistake, I can walk back into a similar role to the one I have.  Life's too short and the NHS has burnt me out for now, I don't have the right mindset for them right now 

dawnybabes

Congratulations on the new job.  Life’s far too short to be stressed all the  time. 

I am the eldest and I hated that I was the trailblazer being the first to ‘do’ things when I was still alive a few weeks later my sister was allowed to do them ! Drive me mad, remember many arguments about how I’d had to be xx old before I was allowed to xxx but my sister was allowed at xx …..

mark55man

good luck - always exciting when you enter a new phase of work - new job, new project ....but always nice to have the safety net of not burning your bridges as well