*sigh* this may take a while

DancingInTheRain

Pleased you've set some ground rules for ET 🤣 hopefully she'll respond accordingly and start showing more appreciation for you when she joins the real world.
Well done on doing the ground work source the position for her too, we know what you did even if she doesn't! X

Drawingaline

You did what I did for my girl. I researched unis and did a long list. She looked at them with me and made a shortlist. But if I hadn't done the initial research she would have left it all to the last minute and it would have stressed me out 😂 

Sounds like a good plan regarding rent. You are right saving a fortune though. Only plus to uni is the girl moving out. I adore her, but these two years of artistic temper has made me realise I can't do another three years of it!

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Thanks EH, DITR and DAL

I must admit, I would have quite liked her to move out to go to uni in a way, she's still quite tricky to live with.  Much as she'll be working/studying, the apprenticeship seems a bit of an extension to school in so much as she can commute from home, no financial commitments/budgeting etc and housework still being done for her.

I half mentioned she could be picking up the odd small chore to help out and she was very much 'I'll be working full time, you're part time, so that's your job'.  Yawn.

We'll see, hopefully 'proper' work will sort her out a bit

enthusiasticsaver

Good that your ET has got an apprenticeship but it looks very much as if she either has to mature a bit or move into her own place to appreciate what you do for her. I don’t know how you manage not to let fly at her for being so entitled really. Maybe it is a large family thing as one person I used to work with was the oldest of six and seemed very resentful of the fact that she had to help out with the little ones and not at all appreciative of her parents and family. 

ohdearhowdidthathappen

We're feeling like we're haemorrhaging money at the moment, everything seems so expensive!

- Our water rates went up a lot and when I called them they said they hadn't been able to access the meter, so had 'guesstimated' it... I asked for them to recheck, they said they would and it would be reflected in next statement.  That has now come and they haven't done a thing!  Will need to chase.
- Council Tax increased £10pm
- Gas and electricity has gone up too  by £50pm- I fixed before the energy stuff kicked off, but it's still more expensive, I'll have to suss out our usage.
- Kids feet all grew (well, younger 4 anyway), always an expensive event, about £380 this time
- They grew in general, so odd bits of clothing needing replacing, approx £200
- Easter, 3 of the DCs Birthdays, Mother's Day (for our 2 mums).  I haven't even added it up, I don't want to know.
- School events - one is finishing year 11 and the other year 13, so 2 x proms, various end of school activities etc
- Swimming lessons!  OMG!  They've gone up massively since pandemic.  My youngest 2 are learning and they used to be £6.50 each for half an hour.  They finally restarted last month and they're £14!  The pool put their hire fees up apparently and she's having to pay her instructors more.  I shopped around a bit as it seemed a big jump and all the other swim schools were between £16-20!  Ouch.

We're still not saving or overpaying the mortgage.... we have no debt, which is good, but we should definitely be able to save and the 'spare' just gets swallowed each month.  Sigh.

EssexHebridean

That's a crazy amount of money for swimming lessons - and worrying too, as swimming is a pretty vital skill to have at least to a "get you out of trouble" level IMO, and at those sorts of prices, there will be a huge number of children who simply won't have the opportunity to learn, I bet. 

I suspect that full time work, having to get herself to a workplace on time etc will sort ET out - at some stage she'll let her attitude spill out at work, and she'll get roundly taken down a peg for it. If she then decides to cheek the older, more experienced colleague that has taken her to task in the same way she does you, she'll find herself on a warning - and then she'll learn that actions have consequences. Nothing like a full time job to ensure that someone grows up fast! 

ladyholly

I think swimming pools are having to increase their charges quite a bit due to the increase in electricity and gas price hike. Even worse for commercial premises as there is no cap. There was abit on the radio yesterday but I didnt hear most of it as I was in and out of the room with the radio.

I suspect there will be a lot of shocks like that in the next few months.

mark55man

EH swimming is a privilege and provision issue as well.  For a long time fewer and fewer children can swim and now their own children can't.  A significant proportion of lakeside/riverside drownings are for people who couldn't afford swimming lessons.  so well done OSHDTH for persevering

EssexHebridean

Absolutely agree with all of that Mark - much as I disliked going swimming with the school as a kid it was provided free of charge to all children in the relevant year groups - I’m sad to hear that’s something that has been lost.

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Thanks EH, LH and Mark

They get a 'free' half term of lessons at school in year 5, DC4 is doing them at the mo.  But even then they ask for a parental contribution towards the costs, only about £25, but still.

He was saying they assess them at the start and put them into groups, I'd say he's quite a weak swimmer and he's in one of the top groups.  I remember my eldest being quite a good swimmer at that age and being put in one of the middle groups, so I think there must be a reduction in those doing lessons just in the last 10 years.

All the swimming lessons that I know of around here are either in leisure centres or using the pools at private schools.  The lady running our classes told me that a franchise had offered the private school a massive sum to have exclusive use of their pools out of school time for lessons.  The school then went to each small company currently running lessons and said along the lines of 'we'd like to still offer you use of the pool, but we need to increase the fees to justify not going with the franchise'.  So they kind of all met in the middle to fend off the franchise.  The private school has to appease their investors/parents I guess too.  

I like the children to be able to swim a length on their front, a length on their back, be able to jump in and get out safely, plus be able to float and tread water.  Just so they can hold their own really.  The older 3 all gave up as soon as they could do all that I'd say at least another year of lessons for DC4 and DC5 is literally just starting as there have been no lessons available for 2 years.  He'd had a couple of months of lessons before the pandemic.