Money Moral Dilemma: Should I let my mum keep my car?

pollypenny

Another for giving your mother the car, unless it's worth thousands.

As for walking distance to work being less than four miles, how many of would fancy that there and back every day?

phoenix1837

If it was just the car then I'd let her have it, after all she's cared for you all your life. If, however, she can't afford to run the car with respect to petrol, insurance, tax and maintenance then I would have to say no.

limetree

Tell your Mum you love her very much and thank her for taking care of you for all these years. Tell her it is hers, kiss her and hug her because when she is gone you will miss her more than you know is possible and you will regret not doing more for her for the rest of your life.
Take it from one who lost his Mum at the age of 22 (now70) and I would do anything to hear her voice and give her a hug.

moneyistooshorttomention

Again - there isn't enough information.

Some posters are being judgmental - when they don't actually know:

- what the relationship is like between the person and their mother

- what the mother is like as a person. She may be a loving/caring/generous sort of person. On the other hand she may be a mean/closed-off/someone who wouldnt do anyone a favour to save their lives sort of person. We don't know.

- how much the person has been/is contributing towards "keep". Given that a lot of mothers don't charge enough and are still subsidising adult "children" - but there are also many that charge an "economic" rate. There are also ones that even expect things like a contribution towards the "local tax" (be it rates/Council Tax/whatever it's currently called) - even though it's no dearer because they are living there.

Sarah180

Thank you all for your comments but it seems MSE has missed out a few details...

The car isn’t second hand or an old banger. It’s a 2016 Fiat bought new on a PCP. I paid the deposit and the £176 p/month repayments since then. In addition I’ve paid the insurance for 3 years and split all services and maintenance with my mum 50:50. She pays for the petrol as she’s the one using it the majority of the time.

Unfortunately we live in an area where trains are buses are unreliable and my mum is required to have a car for work as she could be located at one of several branches and doesn’t know until the day.

For all those of you asking about rent, fear not, I’ve been paying a fair and equal share of the rent since I moved home in 2015 along with my siblings. This is another part of the problem, not only is my mum going to loose my rent when I move out but she’s also going to have to take on the car repayments, refinance or find a cheaper car.

I’ve offered to give her until at least June 2019 to source an alternative and have suggested we go to the garage where I first purchased the car to discuss our options but she’s not willing to.

AylesburyDuck

I'm very shocked at some of the answers here, suggesting that the mother is "owed" the car basically because she gave birth and raised a child.
Seriously?
I gave birth and raised 4, but seriously wouldnt consider asking then to leave a car because i couldnt get myself around. It wouldnt even be on my radar to think of such a thing.
OP, it's not your responsibility to ensure that your mother can get herself to work, especially seeing as you yourself need the money for living costs. Judging by some of the answers here people seem to thinking you frivolous. I dont class paying rent or putting food on table as frivolous..
You Mum is a grown up, she's going to have to put on her big girl panties!
Cross posted with the further info post. But my opinion remains the same.

Sarah180

Nice idea, but unfortunately my sister will still be living in the room when I move out.

Red-Squirrel_2

Sarah180 wrote: »

Thank you all for your comments but it seems MSE has missed out a few details...

The car isn’t second hand or an old banger. It’s a 2016 Fiat bought new on a PCP. I paid the deposit and the £176 p/month repayments since then. In addition I’ve paid the insurance for 3 years and split all services and maintenance with my mum 50:50. She pays for the petrol as she’s the one using it the majority of the time.

Unfortunately we live in an area where trains are buses are unreliable and my mum is required to have a car for work as she could be located at one of several branches and doesn’t know until the day.

For all those of you asking about rent, fear not, I’ve been paying a fair and equal share of the rent since I moved home in 2015 along with my siblings. This is another part of the problem, not only is my mum going to loose my rent when I move out but she’s also going to have to take on the car repayments, refinance or find a cheaper car.

I’ve offered to give her until at least June 2019 to source an alternative and have suggested we go to the garage where I first purchased the car to discuss our options but she’s not willing to.

Thanks for coming to the thread and providing more info!

So is your mum expecting you to carry on making payments for the car while she has full use of it? Is she going to be paying 100% of the running costs or will she expect you to contribute to that too?

How does the PCP work? Will you eventually own it? Is there a 'balloon' payment needed at the end of the plan?

It isn't your responsibility to sort your mum's transport out, it sounds like she has unrealistic expectations.

Sarah180

Thanks Red-Squirrel.

I don’t think she’s really thought about. Any time I approach the conversation she changes the subject very quickly. I assume she thinks it will just continue as it is currently with me paying the monthly PCP and her paying the running costs.

There’s a year left on the PCP and the plan was always that she’d make the final payment in March 2020 to be the legal owner of the car which I feel further supports my argument. She was willing to take out a loan in 2020 to buy it so why not do it now if she can?

Her argument is she was made redundant last year and took a significant pay drop and given her age she’s unlikely to receive the same salary she used to again.

Red-Squirrel_2

Sarah180 wrote: »

Thanks Red-Squirrel.

I don’t think she’s really thought about. Any time I approach the conversation she changes the subject very quickly. I assume she thinks it will just continue as it is currently with me paying the monthly PCP and her paying the running costs.

There’s a year left on the PCP and the plan was always that she’d make the final payment in March 2020 to be the legal owner of the car which I feel further supports my argument. She was willing to take out a loan in 2020 to buy it so why not do it now if she can?

Her argument is she was made redundant last year and took a significant pay drop and given her age she’s unlikely to receive the same salary she used to again.

To most people, that would mean they can't afford a nice new car on finance and they'll have to adjust their expectations and get a cheaper second hand one.

If I were you I'd take the bull by the horns. Its your car, its your credit record its reported to, you're responsible here. I don't know how it works with the PCP if you can sell it or if you hand it back or what, but give her a fair deadline by when the car will be gone and no longer be available to her and then get rid of it.


You could point her in the direction of this bit of MSE: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/car-finance/buying-used-car/