Landmark birthday and feeling unfulfilled

[Deleted User]

That you got married, had a child and independent.

If that isn't moving with life and something to be proud of then I don't know what is.

There are brothers and sisters where one loses their strength - at 35 my parents never imagined my brothers accident and I felt sorry for recently when they did the visiting (infections so was hospitalised, who am I kidding his quality of life makes me weep) so I wouldn't worry about the only child thing. 3 years on we still get nutters without thinking who say, he'll get up! The end of life stuff terrifies me as it's not something I can ask my brother to assist with due to his half awake in this life, so I'll do right by my parents then.

p00hsticks

MX5huggy wrote: »

Do a Ironman, swim the channel, climb Everest.

Just my opinion, but - although admittedly great feats of athleticism - I see those as pretty empty achievements.

Particularly the last - I could cry when I see what a mess has been made by the tourist conveyor belt that Everest has become .


In my opinion far more meaningful, cheaper and more achievable challenges would be to spend an hour or two each week with a lonely old person, volunteer in a hospice or help out in a charity shop or animal shelter for a few hours.

74jax

davenport151 wrote: »

"One day you'll leave this world behind
So live a life you will remember.".

Cross posted there 74jax - I like that.

https://youtu.be/UtF6Jej8yb4.

Amazing lyrics which really hit home with me. Not many songs give me goosebumps.

Fireflyaway

I don't think my parents friends kids have achieved anything amazing. My mum made a comment today which upset me a bit ' Sue and Sally's daughters are the complete opposite of you. They are both very slim and into fashion'. It's true I guess so I shouldn't really feel offended!
I'm happily married with a lovely daughter which is definitely something to be happy about.
I love the point about helping others.
Some kind of sports or active achievement would be a a huge deal for me actually. I've been fat and lazy all through my 30's.

Red-Squirrel_2

Fireflyaway wrote: »

I don't think my parents friends kids have achieved anything amazing. My mum made a comment today which upset me a bit ' Sue and Sally's daughters are the complete opposite of you. They are both very slim and into fashion'. It's true I guess so I shouldn't really feel offended!
I'm happily married with a lovely daughter which is definitely something to be happy about.
I love the point about helping others.
Some kind of sports or active achievement would be a a huge deal for me actually. I've been fat and lazy all through my 30's.

Did you pull her up on it?

"Mum you just called me fat, that's very rude!"

Being 'into fashion' is no sort of achievement at all! don't waste time trying to make that one proud though.

dawyldthing

Fireflyaway wrote: »

I don't think my parents friends kids have achieved anything amazing. My mum made a comment today which upset me a bit ' Sue and Sally's daughters are the complete opposite of you. They are both very slim and into fashion'. It's true I guess so I shouldn't really feel offended!
I'm happily married with a lovely daughter which is definitely something to be happy about.
I love the point about helping others.
Some kind of sports or active achievement would be a a huge deal for me actually. I've been fat and lazy all through my 30's.

I think the best thing in life is to not compare each other’s life. Yeah a friend might be slim, but she might be the most boring person in the world, fed up of her job and buys clothes to get away from life’s woes.

Whereas you might be happy, not living like the Joneses and not in debt (it’s a wild example, but hopefully you’ll get the gist)

As for the weight - I lost over 3 stone using slimming world principles, just bought the book and followed the thread on here. I’ve put a bit back on and am putting more on with being pregnant, but you have to get to a point your doing it for you, not your mum, to be compared to friends or jo round the corner, but for you. You’ll do it in time.

You’ll also have achieved more in life than you realise, you just have to sit down and write it down to realise.

Don’t be tough on yourself

gettingtheresometime

I was listening to a podcast quite recently & one thing that struck home to me was that it talked about eulogy cvs as opposed to career cvs.

(Better explained here - https://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/12/opinion/sunday/david-brooks-the-moral-bucket-list.html )

My sister has a high flying career and yes earns far far more than me but I know that my mum cares more about the fact that I actually spend time with her (mum) than my sister ever does.

PrettyKittyKat

I am sure that you HAVE and ARE making your parents proud.

I understand what you mean about achievement though. I like to have things to focus on and achieve. Years before I turned 30 I set myself 10 'must do before I'm 30' items. I didn't quite tick them all off but I did some amazing things. I have now done the same for 'must do before I'm 40'. They don't have to be anything ground breaking, but things that I know I want to achieve/experience and it gives me a focus/motivation/deadline!

My 30th one included things like
- sky dive
- place $100 on red in Vegas
- Go on the London Eye

My 40th list includes things like
- Make Christmas dinner
- Buy a house
- Volunteer for charity

Guineapigsqueaks

OP. Have you heard the expression "Comparison is the thief of joy"? Never compare yourself to others or how their lives might seem to you. Live your life based on what is important to you and your happiness.
Guineapigsqueaks x

HampshireH

I had this at 31. Got myself all in a tiz because i didnt have kids, house, marriage etc when all my friends did. Got quite upset at the time.

I had to have a proper hard look at myself and realise what was important and what I could be proud of.

I had my degree and masters as well as multiple supplementary diplomas in various interesting subjects

Good job due to progressive promotions.
My own car.
Great relationship
Loving family.

Still wobble about it but this year achieved home ownership, so one step closer to the rest.

But have learnt that just because I'm 5-10years behind my friends in regards of kids etc I am so much further ahead professionally as we just took different routes. And that's ok.

Maybe pick a challenge or goal (and it doesnt have to be climbing a mountain), but only if you want to. Its about what you are proud of not others