Help: I dont know what to do

unknownfuture

My Partner of 11 years is leaving me, while this is breaking my heart, I'll be left with my son.


He tells me he has found a new home with his new women and that once he leaves the family home he will no longer pay half the joint mortgage and I am expected to pay this myself.


I have a £8.5k loan that I took out in his name with £6k remaining. I placed the full amount ito his account stating loan and know this is his to legally pay back.


I have no additional funds to buy him out and everything I own is in the house for our family. I have no excessive luxuries.


We both placed £7.5k into the house as a down payment and split the solicitors fees.




I have suggest that he signs the house over to myself and I continue to pay going forward and off set his outstanding loan, I don't have any additional money to give but if he gave me a reasonable number I could see what I could sell t give him this. I really don't want this turning nasty for my son's sake.


He has asked what I would expect for payments of our child and have suggested the best was would be to use the Child Maintenance, this way I don't have to worry or work anything out. He is not happy with this and is saying im being unfair. in the same respect telling me he is not paying the Mortgage.


Where do i stand legally with this? he is still accountable for his share surely?


if he leaves and I pay for X+ years he can then claim half the fees back, while I struggle.

Comms69

unknownfuture wrote: »

My Partner of 11 years is leaving me, while this is breaking my heart, I'll be left with my son.


He tells me he has found a new home with his new women and that once he leaves the family home he will no longer pay half the joint mortgage and I am expected to pay this myself. - Would it be better to sell?


I have a £8.5k loan that I took out in his name with £6k remaining. I placed the full amount ito his account stating loan and know this is his to legally pay back. - sorry do you mean it's in your name?


I have no additional funds to buy him out and everything I own is in the house for our family. I have no excessive luxuries. - Have you used a benefits calculator, and a child maintenance calculation?


We both placed £7.5k into the house as a down payment and split the solicitors fees.




I have suggest that he signs the house over to myself - wont be possible. Your lender will refuse (and to be honest he shouldn't lose out on the built up equity) and I continue to pay going forward and off set his outstanding loan, I don't have any additional money to give but if he gave me a reasonable number I could see what I could sell t give him this. I really don't want this turning nasty for my son's sake. - No need for it to turn nasty. But no reason for you to rush this either


He has asked what I would expect for payments of our child and have suggested the best was would be to use the Child Maintenance, this way I don't have to worry or work anything out. - If you mean use the collect and pay service; that is grossly unfair. Just calculate his weekly wage (gross, but after any pension deductions) * 0.13 - you have the answer He is not happy with this and is saying im being unfair. in the same respect telling me he is not paying the Mortgage.


Where do i stand legally with this? he is still accountable for his share surely? - Yes and no. You are both jointly liable for 100% of the mortgage. There is no 'share' as such. That said, how did you split payments prior to the break up? How old is the child?


if he leaves and I pay for X+ years he can then claim half the fees back, while I struggle.

Yes in theory. BUT you are in essence using his credit to keep the home. So he wont be able to purchase another whilst this mortgage is outstanding.

unknownfuture

Help: I dont know what to do

My Partner of 11 years is leaving me, while this is breaking my heart, I'll be left with my son.


He tells me he has found a new home with his new women and that once he leaves the family home he will no longer pay half the joint mortgage and I am expected to pay this myself.


I have a £8.5k loan that I took out in his name with £6k remaining. I placed the full amount ito his account stating loan and know this is his to legally pay back.


I have no additional funds to buy him out and everything I own is in the house for our family. I have no excessive luxuries.


We both placed £7.5k into the house as a down payment and split the solicitors fees.




I have suggest that he signs the house over to myself and I continue to pay going forward and off set his outstanding loan, I don't have any additional money to give but if he gave me a reasonable number I could see what I could sell t give him this. I really don't want this turning nasty for my son's sake.


He has asked what I would expect for payments of our child and have suggested the best was would be to use the Child Maintenance, this way I don't have to worry or work anything out. He is not happy with this and is saying im being unfair. in the same respect telling me he is not paying the Mortgage.


Where do i stand legally with this? he is still accountable for his share surely?


if he leaves and I pay for X+ years he can then claim half the fees back, while I struggle.

unknownfuture

He tells me he has found a new home with his new women and that once he leaves the family home he will no longer pay half the joint mortgage and I am expected to pay this myself. - Would it be better to sell?


I wouldn't want to sell my son is settled, we have friends on the street and would then lead to needing to find new schools etc, its going to be hard enough for him. I can afford to pay / live there without him but I have no savings to buy him out.


I have a £8.5k loan that I took out in his name with £6k remaining. I placed the full amount ito his account stating loan and know this is his to legally pay back. - sorry do you mean it's in your name?



Yes it's in my name, but the claims company said if I can prove its went directly to him as a loan he is eligible but would have to go to a smalls claim court which I can then claim any legal fees back.



I have no additional funds to buy him out and everything I own is in the house for our family. I have no excessive luxuries. - Have you used a benefits calculator, and a child maintenance calculation?


I have now


We both placed £7.5k into the house as a down payment and split the solicitors fees.







I have suggest that he signs the house over to myself - wont be possible. Your lender will refuse (and to be honest he shouldn't lose out on the built up equity) - The lender wont refuse this and I don't believe he should im not after screwing him over, I'm after not being screwed over having to be paying the full mortgage if he is still legally on the deeds - I believe he should still pay half while that is the case, we have been in the house 2 years, the value has not really increased.


and I continue to pay going forward and off set his outstanding loan, I don't have any additional money to give but if he gave me a reasonable number I could see what I could sell t give him this. I really don't want this turning nasty for my son's sake. - No need for it to turn nasty. But no reason for you to rush this either. I don't believe this is rushing, he has made a new future with him self a new home and I am expectant to now pay full payments and have him still on the deeds. I don't think its unreasonable to want that settled to allow me to move on.


He has asked what I would expect for payments of our child and have suggested the best was would be to use the Child Maintenance, this way I don't have to worry or work anything out. - If you mean use the collect and pay service; that is grossly unfair. Just calculate his weekly wage (gross, but after any pension deductions) * 0.13 - you have the answer. Why is this unfair? I would have the security that me and my child need. he's not very repliable. He is not happy with this and is saying im being unfair. in the same respect telling me he is not paying the Mortgage.


Where do i stand legally with this? he is still accountable for his share surely? - Yes and no. You are both jointly liable for 100% of the mortgage. There is no 'share' as such. That said, how did you split payments prior to the break up? How old is the child? we split the house bills and mortgage evenly. he never contributed anything futher than that. I would pay everything else on top.


if he leaves and I pay for X+ years he can then claim half the fees back, while I struggle.

gettingtheresometime

As a side issue does he mean that he'll now be renting? If not then does he realise that he'll be liable for the extra stamp duty because he'll already be classed as a homeowner?


How could he afford to be on two mortgages?

-taff

You are both equally liable for the mortgage. If he ceases to pay, then paying it is up to you. If you both cease to pay, the mortgage company would go after both of you equally, not one or the other.
If you both own it jointly and it has a reasonable equity in it, and you have a child together, I would suggest finding a solicitor with a free consulatation and asking them their advice.

Comms69

unknownfuture wrote: »

He tells me he has found a new home with his new women and that once he leaves the family home he will no longer pay half the joint mortgage and I am expected to pay this myself. - Would it be better to sell?


I wouldn't want to sell my son is settled, we have friends on the street and would then lead to needing to find new schools etc, its going to be hard enough for him. I can afford to pay / live there without him but I have no savings to buy him out.


That is unfortunately the issue that's going to cause the biggest issues. However if you can afford to keep it going, then do so.



I have a £8.5k loan that I took out in his name with £6k remaining. I placed the full amount ito his account stating loan and know this is his to legally pay back. - sorry do you mean it's in your name?



Yes it's in my name, but the claims company said if I can prove its went directly to him as a loan he is eligible but would have to go to a smalls claim court which I can then claim any legal fees back.

Yes that is correct. However I wouldn't go in all guns blazing. You have to prove it's a loan; which you may be able to do. BUT at the same time, you were a family at the time and it's much harder to prove than a loan to a friend or a colleague

I have no additional funds to buy him out and everything I own is in the house for our family. I have no excessive luxuries. - Have you used a benefits calculator, and a child maintenance calculation?


I have now

Excellent, do you work by the way?

We both placed £7.5k into the house as a down payment and split the solicitors fees.







I have suggest that he signs the house over to myself - wont be possible. Your lender will refuse (and to be honest he shouldn't lose out on the built up equity) - The lender wont refuse this and I don't believe he should im not after screwing him over, I'm after not being screwed over having to be paying the full mortgage if he is still legally on the deeds - I believe he should still pay half while that is the case, we have been in the house 2 years, the value has not really increased. Sorry but there's no way to know for sure whether your lender would agree; and often they don't because they have two people to chase for money, rather than just one. You would need to remortgage and buy him out


and I continue to pay going forward and off set his outstanding loan, I don't have any additional money to give but if he gave me a reasonable number I could see what I could sell t give him this. I really don't want this turning nasty for my son's sake. - No need for it to turn nasty. But no reason for you to rush this either. I don't believe this is rushing, he has made a new future with him self a new home and I am expectant to now pay full payments and have him still on the deeds. I don't think its unreasonable to want that settled to allow me to move on.
Maybe not, but these types of things go on for years, even decades sometimes.

He has asked what I would expect for payments of our child and have suggested the best was would be to use the Child Maintenance, this way I don't have to worry or work anything out. - If you mean use the collect and pay service; that is grossly unfair. Just calculate his weekly wage (gross, but after any pension deductions) * 0.13 - you have the answer. Why is this unfair? I would have the security that me and my child need. he's not very repliable. Because they charge a premium. If he fails to pay, by all means make a claim. But he will always be given the opportunity to pay voluntarily. He is not happy with this and is saying im being unfair. in the same respect telling me he is not paying the Mortgage.


Where do i stand legally with this? he is still accountable for his share surely? - Yes and no. You are both jointly liable for 100% of the mortgage. There is no 'share' as such. That said, how did you split payments prior to the break up? How old is the child? we split the house bills and mortgage evenly. he never contributed anything futher than that. I would pay everything else on top.
- What about holidays, days out, etc. After 11 years it just seems unlikely to be nothing more

if he leaves and I pay for X+ years he can then claim half the fees back, while I struggle.

Ultimately I think you both need to sit down and decide how to move this forward

unknownfuture

hes going to be renting with his new woman

calleyw

I know this a shock and its hard to deal with.


But you try as you might you need to take out the emotion of it all.


Yes it nice to stay where you are. But can you afford to remortgage in your name and give him back his £7.5K + 50% of any rise in equity?


As Comms69 said use the maintenance calculator to work out what he should pay.


If you can't afford to take on the mortgage and fail to pay then both of you are going to end up with trashed credit and that will make it harder to get any form of credit at a later date.


Also why would you want to have a financial connection to this person. Hence why you want to get rid of anything joint.



The loan is a hard one as unless you can prove it was loan he will say its a gift. Do you have any proof of any repayments made to you?


Also not a very nice bloke if he is going to argue over maintenance and paying to keep a roof over you and his son's head in the short term until things can be sorted out.


Yours


Calley x

Candyapple

1. Are you married?

2. Are you tenants in common or joint tenants? Please check your mortgage documents.

3. Did you have a deed of trust taken out when you bought the property?

4. Do you work? If so what is your salary?

5. What is the value of the house?

6. How much remains on your mortgage?

You have 3 separate issues that I can see here:
a) You have taken out a loan in your name for him
b) You need to sort out what happens with the house and how you will split the funds
c) Child maintenance payments


a) You have taken out a loan in your name for him
This is going to be tricky if the loan is in your name and you expect him to keep up repayments. Who is the loan with?

Has he said that he will continue with payments? If he hasn't and wants to stop paying then unfortunately for you, if you want to keep your credit history in tact, the onus will be on you to keep the repayments up.

Taking him to small claims court and chasing him for the money is a long process and if he stops working then you really would be throwing good money after bad. Cross that bridge when you come to it.


b) You need to sort out what happens with the house and how you will split the funds
You need to decide whether you want to make a clean break now, or face years of expensive court dealings and hassle years down the line when you do eventually come to sell. Because lets say you pay the mortgage on your own for the next 10 years and your property goes up £100k in value - regardless of him not paying a penny towards it in the decade previously, he will still be entitled to half. Plus not to mention you will be tied to him for however many years you stay in the house meaning if he gets into debt or goes bankrupt it will affect you. Or another scenario - him and his new woman want to buy a home together but because he already has this property with you - he will be forced to pay the higher rate of stamp duty on a second home. So then he contacts you about forcing you to sell the home - you disagree - and then as I said, you both end up in an expensive court battle.

If you don't want to sell and can manage paying the mortgage yourself, then you need to speak to a mortgage broker about being reassessed by your current lender on your sole salary and whether you will be able to take over the mortgage in your own name and get your ex off the deeds. Don't forget assuming that if they agreed you could, that you would still need to sort out a lump sum payment for him - do you even have say £10k plus spare?

Your other option is to sell the property and split any profits 50-50, you both move on with your lives no longer financially tied to one another.


c) Child maintenance payments
This one is simple, tell him to go here: https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

I don't see how he can blame how much he needs to pay on you, that is the official government website.


And some side advice - your ex wants to play house with someone else - good riddance. Don't waste your tears on him - be thankful you've been shown what a rat he is now and not wasted another 10 or 20 years down the line. You are still young, move on and enjoy your life. He is making a rod for his own back the way he is moaning about child maintenance because your son will see for himself just how much his dad despised paying for him whilst growing up.

Rubik

If you are not married and are unable to afford a home for you and your child then it may be possible to make an application under Schedule 1 of the Children Act 1989 to remain in the house until your child is 18/you marry/other triggers.

I would advise that you seek legal advice, or post on Wikivorce (which is free).