Need advice on life!

FailureAtLife

Sorry I can see what you mean, what I meant to say is that I don't want to work for the sake of saying I work but then struggle to live. Basically being the moral guy, the hardworking guy in reality doesn't necessarily get you more. For example, some people work very hard and get paid minimum wage, where as some people do literally nothing and get paid more, then you have people given jobs because of who they know when there are people who need it more than them and are actually more qualified and better suited to the job.

System

you benefited by not paying rent/ your children etc and also comitted fraud

i hope she goes to the CMS and bleeds you dry but i doubt it as your attitude is disgraceful and you will probably never leave mummy and daddy

Comms69

FailureAtLife wrote: »

That is what I want to be able to do? Unlike some people I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. - literally 99% of people weren't. I was simply making the point that she was claiming to be a single parent as we lived apart but were together and she never once struggled financially with paying for rent, bills, food, school uniform, clothes or even having her hair done. - So she should struggle? Perhaps she just budgets

It is easy to sit there and make judgements from your screen, not everyone's life is as nice as yours may be. - Paying maintenance for your children isn't a choice. It's as simple as that

If you knew me personally perhaps I wouldn't 'make you sick' as you put it, I was only trying to get some advice on what steps to take to better my life. - start by paying maintenance, you will feel better about yourself. You'll find pride in knowing that you are supporting your children Believe me if I could walk into a reasonably good job tomorrow I would - what about a full time minimum wage job. Given you have very few overheads that would be a good start . Yes I know things don't fall in your lap as someone also said, that is why I was considering attempting university. - How will that help you get a job? I don't spend my time drinking, smoking or vandalising things, I am a polite, respectful person but unfortunately not the most intelligent.

I do enjoy a drink and a cigarette; petty vandalism isn't my thing.


But I work full time, pay voluntary maintenance, pay additionally towards big events (there's a big one coming up) and I know my ex isn't living the life of luxury with the approx. £2k she gets. In fact I know she struggles. (hence additional voluntary payments)


You want to turn your life around; start by changing your perspective.

FailureAtLife

bournemouth_bell wrote: »

you benefited by not paying rent/ your children etc and also comitted fraud

i hope she goes to the CMS and bleeds you dry but i doubt it as your attitude is disgraceful and you will probably never leave mummy and daddy

I would prefer she does that so it is all legal and lies cannot be told.

Comms69

FailureAtLife wrote: »

Sorry I can see what you mean, what I meant to say is that I don't want to work for the sake of saying I work but then struggle to live - if you work FT on NMW you'll earn approx. £15k a year; with no immediate overheads to pay, you'll have plenty of money . . Basically being the moral guy, the hardworking guy in reality doesn't necessarily get you more. For example, some people work very hard and get paid minimum wage - yes they do; those that don't tend to get no wage , where as some people do literally nothing and get paid more - I doubt that actually happens very often. , then you have people given jobs because of who they know - and? What about people you know? when there are people who need it more than them and are actually more qualified and better suited to the job.

Whoever told you life was fair; lied.

Comms69

FailureAtLife wrote: »

I would prefer she does that so it is all legal and lies cannot be told.

Literally if you go down that route you will be taking money from your children and giving it to the state.

FailureAtLife

Comms69 wrote: »

I do enjoy a drink and a cigarette; petty vandalism isn't my thing.


But I work full time, pay voluntary maintenance, pay additionally towards big events (there's a big one coming up) and I know my ex isn't living the life of luxury with the approx. £2k she gets. In fact I know she struggles. (hence additional voluntary payments)


You want to turn your life around; start by changing your perspective.

I only get roughly £50 a week at the moment so surely you can understand my not giving voluntary maintenance? What should my perspective be?

FailureAtLife

Comms69 wrote: »

Literally if you go down that route you will be taking money from your children and giving it to the state.

I know that but you have to understand at this moment in time if I explained that to her she would still do it out of spite anyway.. She will still get her money just some of it will come from me so I can spend even less on the kids, its a one sided thing in her favour. But I would be covered from her saying down the line I have given nothing etc, when I try my best to get what I can to keep my 4 year old happy, it seems to be enough for her.

spadoosh

FailureAtLife wrote: »

I only get roughly £50 a week at the moment so surely you can understand my not giving voluntary maintenance? What should my perspective be?

Get a job and earn your way to improving your life.

Youve given up and your 25, the sooner you actually try at life the quicker it will get better.

Stop blaming others and take responsibility for yourself and your children.

FailureAtLife

spadoosh wrote: »

Get a job and earn your way to improving your life.

Youve given up and your 25, the sooner you actually try at life the quicker it will get better.

Stop blaming others and take responsibility for yourself and your children.

I don't blame others honestly, I was just giving you the background story to my life as accurately as I can, I chose to have the children, being young and naive without realising the consequences, I know that believe me but they are hear now and I wouldn't change it. I haven't given up just yet that is why I'm here! I guess I'm going to have to start taking things on the chin more.