Advice about stubborn Grandparent who isn't well

Mojisola

trailingspouse wrote: »

At what age do we stop being determined and start being stubborn?

I'm not criticising the OP, but often old people are described as stubborn. Which is generally seen as a negative characteristic. If you thought of your nan as determined, with a steely resolve, her choices might start to make more sense and/or be easier to accept.

Having seen this is the older generation of our family (and noticing it now in myself), I think it's more 'resistant to change' because it's often easier to struggle on with what's familiar than cope with changes.

After getting their agreement to changes, my parents often said things like - 'I wish we'd done this ages ago' - because, after getting used to the new aids or ways of doing things, life was easier.

I'm trying to be conscious of it in myself and have given our kids the okay to call me out if they think I'm doing it.

Red-Squirrel_2

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Hospitals have the power to detain competent adults without a trial? That's scary.

No, they don't.

If the person has mental capacity they can just walk out anytime they want.

However if they aren't physically capable of just walking out thy hospital are under no obligation to facilitate a discharge they believe would be unsafe.

BrassicWoman

Mine would take no help until they had a crisis.


I withdrew help until they had a crisis.


Then they took help.


You need to be tough as nails, but it works.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

trailingspouse wrote: »

At what age do we stop being determined and start being stubborn?


I'm not criticising the OP, but often old people are described as stubborn. Which is generally seen as a negative characteristic. If you thought of your nan as determined, with a steely resolve, her choices might start to make more sense and/or be easier to accept.

From experience with somebody much younger who is endangering their health (and life), plus putting their family through extreme stress through refusing to consider having help/adaptions/support/moving somewhere safe following an extremely serious medical condition, they aren't stubborn before they get to their late 70s - but neither are they determined prior to that point; they're just pigheaded bloody idiots.


We're at the point of some of us saying 'Let them get on with it, then, we'll help the moment it's not going to be refused or accepted for a couple of weeks before chucked back in our faces and the time, worry, effort and expense has been for nothing', some saying 'BUT' and then being guilttripped into enabling the person to continue damaging themselves.