Money Moral Dilemma: Can I buy a cheaper baby-shower gift?

selement

I think if you are willing to pay the price to attend it's totally fine to spend less on a gift. My experience of UK baby showers is most people don't really expect presents from everyone (although they are welcomed) so maybe don't take anything or just spend less than you would have
Anyone expecting expensive gifts after guests pay to come to their chosen venue sounds a bit greedy so doesn't matter if it offends them (I reckon most won't be offended though)

Bellisima

Don’t really get all this “baby shower” business. Buying a gift for the baby when it is actually born, yes of course I would. I would never go to a theme park, least of all for this reason. Ridiculous idea.

Barryfan

I think it's a bit of a cheek to expect guests to pay to get into a venue (unless you get the chance to use the rides in the theme park??). If you don't want to pay, then don't go to the shower, and simply buy the present you intended and give it to your friend at another time.

Guineapigsqueaks

If you want a baby shower, pay the cost of it yourself. I think they are a dreadful idea, little different to directly asking people to buy gifts for you and your baby.

CupcakeSquirrel

A few observations:

1. The mother to be is probably not organising the baby shower herself - all of the ones I’ve been to over the last decade my friends have been having babies have been organised by friends and family. So she is not “expecting” anything.
2. If there are lots of guests, and/or guests are bringing their children, it’s very common to have the shower at a venue. Having organised a couple of these it can be difficult to find free venues, so yes, it’s common to ask guests to chip in although we have usually had some food included in this. The post doesn’t say if this is the case so we can’t judge on this.
3. As per my first post, baby showers have been a “thing” in this country for many years now. And they’re a very lovely thing indeed. A lovely chance for a final afternoon before baby comes, seeing friends and celebrating what is to come. Not much chance for this when baby arrives!
4. No one expects gifts, but they are gratefully received be it cash to spend, homemade things, bought gifts, useful/practical things, pretty things etc. Never has anyone been looked down on for bringing or not bringing a gift, of any value.

So finally to answer the question - yes! It’s absolutely fine to give whatever gift you like, or to decide not to attend and buy a pricier gift instead. Do what’s right for you.

Pollycat

One wonders if the parents-to-be have got confirmed attendees to this baby [STRIKE]fiasco[/STRIKE] shower.
Or if the venue fee is refundable.
If they haven't and it isn't and lots of people decide that they're not paying £25 or simply think that it's not their cup of tea, it could turn out to be expensive...

Gigervamp

The American mums on another forum are horrified by how we've taken the baby shower idea and completely got it all wrong!


Apparently over there, it'll be a friend or relative who organises and hosts, and money is NEVER asked of the guests. The host pays for the party, which is usually in their house, not fancy venues.
The gifts are small, things like socks, nappies etc, or pampering items for the bride.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

I never buy gifts for a new baby until it's safely arrived. I'm not usually superstitious, but I do think it's tempting fate. We shouldn't take for granted what is still a major cause of mortality in some countries.

Unless kids are going and having a proper day of it, it's ridiculous to hold an event that charges entry.

phryne

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I wouldn't go if I was expected to pay £25 to get in. I would take a gift to the person's house at another time.

Ditto, and I'm not sure I like the idea of a 'baby shower' anyway.

Spendless

CupcakeSquirrel wrote: »

A few observations:

1. The mother to be is probably not organising the baby shower herself - all of the ones I’ve been to over the last decade my friends have been having babies have been organised by friends and family. So she is not “expecting” anything.
2. If there are lots of guests, and/or guests are bringing their children, it’s very common to have the shower at a venue. Having organised a couple of these it can be difficult to find free venues, so yes, it’s common to ask guests to chip in although we have usually had some food included in this. The post doesn’t say if this is the case so we can’t judge on this.
3. As per my first post, baby showers have been a “thing” in this country for many years now. And they’re a very lovely thing indeed. A lovely chance for a final afternoon before baby comes, seeing friends and celebrating what is to come. Not much chance for this when baby arrives!
4. No one expects gifts, but they are gratefully received be it cash to spend, homemade things, bought gifts, useful/practical things, pretty things etc. Never has anyone been looked down on for bringing or not bringing a gift, of any value.

So finally to answer the question - yes! It’s absolutely fine to give whatever gift you like, or to decide not to attend and buy a pricier gift instead. Do what’s right for you.

What's 'many years'? My youngest is 15, I never had one for her nor did I hear of any from Mums pregnant around the same time.



The baby showers I am aware of either because I've been at the same place when one's taking place or more frequently listened to my workmate grumble* about them, have been everyone goes somewhere for afternoon tea. I've never queried who pays the bill (*workmate grumbles because she doesn't eat bread due to a health issue, so dislikes afternoon tea)