Hypothetical Future Divorce

System

And pre-nups can be overturned...they don't mean anything,

pphillips

andydownes123 wrote: »

And pre-nups can be overturned...they don't mean anything,

It's incorrect to say they don't mean anything. Just because they can sometimes be overturned, it doesn't necessarily follow that that is going to happen every time.

Comms69

pphillips wrote: »

It's incorrect to say they don't mean anything. Just because they can sometimes be overturned, it doesn't necessarily follow that that is going to happen every time.

I agree, they are not legally binding (and therefore in my opinion unreliable); but I think that's a good thing.

badmemory

I do think that needing to sign a pre-nup would be a good thing before all marriages. It would give the person being asked to sign an additional insight into the beliefs & motives of the person they are about to marry, which may have been hidden from them before & take off some of the "I love you" blinkers.

pollyanna24

I can kind of see where the OP is coming from.

I have worked blooming hard for my house sacrificing a lot in order to try and get the mortgage down to a (to me) reasonable level.

I think it would take a lot of persuading for me to risk that when I almost lost the house after my last relationship broke down.

I feel secure now that it is mine and I don't think I would give that up for anyone regardless of how I felt about them. I was in a relationship for 11 years before and that managed to break down.

Comms69

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I can kind of see where the OP is coming from.

I have worked blooming hard for my house sacrificing a lot in order to try and get the mortgage down to a (to me) reasonable level.

I think it would take a lot of persuading for me to risk that when I almost lost the house after my last relationship broke down.

I feel secure now that it is mine and I don't think I would give that up for anyone regardless of how I felt about them. I was in a relationship for 11 years before and that managed to break down.

so don't get married; no-one has a gun to your head.

Primrose

You are definitely either not marriage material or haven't yet met that special person who you feel you can love and trust to have a happy lifelong relationship.
I suggest you and any girlfriend buy your own properties next door to each other, keep your finances totally separate and never have children. That way you should be able to have your cake and eat it!

C_Mababejive

Just dont get married. I mean,why would you ??

Happier_Me

I'm a woman and I've been married forever (okay, nearly 17 years). I'm one of the lucky ones who still feels confident that I've met the man I want to annoy for the rest of my life:D He doesn't appear to want to go anywhere either. We did marry for love, met when we had nothing and although we're not wealthy, if we were to separate we'd be able to sell our mortgage free house and buy two modest three beds outright. God forbid, if he were to die, then I'd be sitting on a small fortune (for me).

I don't understand why anyone would so readily risk financial assets that they've worked so hard for. I wouldn't and I don't think that has to mean someone spends the rest of their life alone with their cash. Admittedly, children change things, but I think parking any common sense around financial assets for the sake of love and an institution that fails almost 50% of the time is foolhardy. I'm sure those in failed marriages didn't walk down the aisle expecting their marriage to end in divorce. It could happen to you!

I think this is a subject that will always cause a divide, with people sat on both sides of the fence. I guess I'm wondering if those on the side of fence shouting 'its all about love' are those most likely to benefit financially...

And just to throw it out there, I would consider marrying someone with similar or more assets than me...not because I want a chunk of their assets but because I see that as potentially providing protection for my own!

clearingout

username12345678 wrote: »

And I say that as someone married to a fiercely independent woman who has repeatedly told friends if anything happened she wants to keep what she brought in to the marriage and nothing else beyond what she has accumulated herself.She's like gold dust!

Presumably she earns sufficiently well to be able to maintain her current lifestyle should the relationship break down. She may feel differently if on minimum wage, paying rent in the South East with three primary aged children.