Hypothetical Future Divorce

trailingspouse

I would suggest that no-one gets married expecting the marriage to fail.


And yet... We also know that many marriages do indeed fail.



What's wrong with finding out beforehand what your liabilities might be? I hope the OP meets someone who also has their head screwed on.

Ames

What about if there are kids and she carries on working? Or you decide to be a stay at home parent? Or she has more assets at the beginning, or gets a large inheritance during the marriage? Or she dies leaving you with kids?

So, so many possible outcomes that you don't seem to have considered.

unholyangel

Comms69 wrote: »

absolutely, I 100% agree. But if the fundamental nature of the contract is that assets become jointly owned. Trying to manoeuvre around that comes across as somewhat immoral.

The fundamental nature of a marriage contract in english law perhaps - but not necessarily elsewhere. As I said above, in scots law premarital property won't form part of the marital pot, nor does inheritance or gifts and the relevant date for calculating finances is the date of separation. Financial separation is also a mandatory part of divorce proceedings here. This means if you win the lottery or have some other windfall after separating but before divorcing, its yours. If you inherit your childhood home, you won't potentially lose it in divorce proceedings.

The position the OP is asking to be in is more or less the default position here in scots law. To me, its normal and a very thorough and sensible approach to differentiate between assets contributed to by both and assets only contributed to by 1. To you, its immoral. Where to me, getting something you in no way contributed to is immoral and to you, its the normal sensible approach. Sorry, just found it slightly amusing.

TBagpuss

If you were to meet someone and decide that you both want to marry, then it makes sense to discuss finances with them, and to consider a prenup.
Prenups are not cast iron, the court in any later divorce still has ultimate power to decide a financial settlement, but provided that they are done properly (separate legal advice, full financial disclosure, signed well before the wedding) then the court will take the agreement into account, but more importantly, it means that the two of you discuss finances, and your attitudes towards finances, before you get married, rather than at the point when the marriage is coming to an end.

username12345678

Seriously, do not get married.

I've lost count of the number of men who get to their 40s and realise what a horrific mistake they've made.

I promise you that you will be happier, and much wealthier, keeping any relationship away from the alter.

And I say that as someone married to a fiercely independent woman who has repeatedly told friends if anything happened she wants to keep what she brought in to the marriage and nothing else beyond what she has accumulated herself.

She's like gold dust!

Red-Squirrel_2

username12345678 wrote: »

And I say that as someone married to a fiercely independent woman who has repeatedly told friends if anything happened she wants to keep what she brought in to the marriage and nothing else beyond what she has accumulated herself.

But if you live together for years and years how can you possibly separate out what each person accumulated totally independently? It just doesn’t work like that unless you never do anything at all to help or support each other, and not just financially!

For example a partner might give you a lift to work when your car dies, or cook and clean while you are putting in long hours, or provide emotional support at times of stress that helps you stay on track, or be the one to take parental leave while you forge on at work, or have a better eye for a good investment when buying a house jointly or loads and loads of other seemingly little things that all add up to a big contribution.

Skintski

No one gets married expecting it to fail but with divorces seemingly becoming more and more common I see no harm in leaving the romance behind for a touch for realism before taking the plunge.

Having been bitten once already by marriage, my partner (also divorced) and I are keeping our assets separate and no plans of getting wed anytime soon. We think of it as wanting to be together rather than one of us being financially dependent upon the other. There is no need to get hitched if you’re happy.

marliepanda

username12345678 wrote: »

And I say that as someone married to a fiercely independent woman who has repeatedly told friends if anything happened she wants to keep what she brought in to the marriage and nothing else beyond what she has accumulated herself.

She's like gold dust!

This sounds like utter rubbish. No one talks like that, and repeatedly to friends! Pull the other one!!

‘Hey Sally! How’s work, did you get your project done on time? Great. How’s things with the husband? Oh lovely. Did I ever tell you that if we get divorced I only want my own contribution returned to me and not a penny from him? Oh I HAVE told you before. My mistake! So, what do you think of Strictly this year!’

SuperPikachu

Just do my trick and have nothing so they would only get half of nothing anyway

Comms69

You know money and possessions have never really been 'my thing' - I can just buy / get more.


I'd be more concerned about losing time.