So sick of the family (Looong post)

jbbonce

sooz wrote: »

EDIT....I was breastfeeding at the time, not just flashing at my dad!

I have never been so relieved to read an edit!

floss2

I would turn the phone off because it disturbs all of you, not just Baby Bonce!

My dad used to get embarassed when I was feeding...and as for nappies, the slightest smell & he was off!

Be strong, set your rules for when Baby Bonce arrives & stick to them - especialy while you have lots of other "normal" family members to help with the dishes & ironing when they come to visit!

Loretta

jbbonce wrote: »

Yes, my mum and stepdad, my stepgrandparents, DH's dad and stepmum, sister, 3 stepsisters and their respective families. All comparatively nice and normal, thankfully.

Well there you are, that's plenty of family for anyone!!

Make this baby a new start. Dump the ones you don't want and get on with your life as a new family

Good luck

Toto

I always felt I had to prove myself to my dad too, so I do understand. But you know what, that's in our heads, we don't have to prove anything to anybody. I've accepted that I will never have a proper father daughter relationship with my dad, I'll see him once or twice a year and we'll chat on the phone now and then.

I would let your dad come and see the baby, but in your home on your terms. And what on earth more proof do you want to give him of how wonderful you are than a happy family with a beautiful baby girl.

Toto

Forgot to add, as for the rest of them... yikes. MIL isn't your responsibility just because you're the last one speaking to her. She will soon find someone else to meet her needs, believe me. The aunt:eek: give the credit card/debt collectors her forwarding address and tell her you will continue to pay the loan as agreed. However if she tried to take you to court you will report her for applying for credit by deception, she has never lived at your house and therefore lied on the forms.

You need to start thinking about you, sod the rest of them. Keep the people close who bring something to your life and get shot of the others until they learn how to be worthy of being a part of your life.

madison's_mum

I suppose a certain amount of what i can't bear about him could be a generational thing, not his intentional actions, but his awkwardness and inability to express his feelings and stand up to his 2nd wife.

My dad would ring me up quite randomly (we did get on, not estranged & parents were still married up to his death) and let me know about the offers that were on the local B & q, Argos etc. Generally for stuff I a) couldn't afford & b) didn't need but it was stuff he thought i would like. He would never ring just to see how i was.
Obviously your situation is different but maybe this is your dads attempt at trying to build some bridges?
And the breastfeeding worked at getting rid of my dad, if i was feeding DD & he walking in he would always suddenly remember something he'd forgotten & run out of the room again!
Re the rest of the family, i think you're probably best away from them!

seven-day-weekend

I feel a bit sorry for your dad, I think he is interested in you and your family and maybe just doesn't know how to show it.

The others seem poisonous and if they are ruining your life, I would not bother with them, although I can understand if your husband still wants contact with his nother. You or the baby don't have to see her.

I agree with another poster about the aunt, give her creditors her address, get a loan from elsewhere, and pay ehe off.