Living in a house my partner owns

getmore4less

Starmummy wrote: »

I guess (right or wrong) I feel like we have proved that we live well together and I'm not going anywhere, yet I'm still paying a 'trial' can-we-live-together-protecting-his-interest agreement on the household.

Starmummy wrote: »

I'd also like to add my partner has always insisted that he is happy to come to what ever arrangement makes me happy, even if that is no 'rent'... but he knows I would not feel comfortable not paying my way.

We have decided that we need to sit down and revisit our joint finances together and discuss what that should look like. I am just trying to get a balance on what is a fair contribution to make.

Taking that first point into the second, a key feature of the future budget needs to include a way to recognise your contribution to the joint asset of a house.

how you balance this with larger difference in income is subjective.

Some prefer the everything is one pot and you share everything equal.

Others move more towards you pay for everything equal from your income and get to keep what's left.


One balanced approach is to separate out the asset purchase from the living costs

decide how much you could afford to buy and still leave enough to cover the other things.

ie your current £600pm needs splitting.
one issue will be that you may be able to afford say 1/2 the mortgage ~ 30% of the house and any minor maintenance but the larger project may be a stretch.


With living cost I like the initial approach where you decide what you can afford based on the lower income person ability then the higher income person matches that forming the base budget.

If the higher income person wants better stuff(sky sports) or going out more or more expensive cars/holidays etc. they pay the extra.


I think if you go over a proper budget(plan*) for a 1y-5y plan a lot might drop out anyway especially if you go as far as how you move to the next property together.

One thing when this house was chosen was that a joint exercise so you can feel it is "our house" rather than "his house".

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* the key thing about the plan is you are deciding in advance where you want your money to go, once essentials are covered the discretionary spends discussion can include how much you put towards property purchases.

Starmummy

Thank you for all the advise and opinions it really helped to open up the debate.
There really is no right or wrong answer.

I had a proper conversation with my partner this evening and he can completely understand where I am coming from. He has reiterated that he is happy to do whatever I feel comfortable with as he doesn't need the money but understands my need not to feel like a !!!!!!!!!!.

I'd still feel guilty paying nothing so we have settled on splitting my £600 contribution in 3. £200 towards utilities. £200 to him as my contribution to the current mortgage set up/ other household costs (carpets/ white goods etc), £200 into a LISA in my name to help build up a deposit for when we buy a house together in a year or 2. (I will be contributing on top of this to get my full allowance/benefit)

I understand this doesn't resolve the no legal right to stay issue....but he is a good egg, I know in my heart and my head he would never just kick us out should the worst happen. So for now I'm a little happier that I shall start to own a stake in our joint future.

Marriage was also one of the things discussed and it is a serious possibility for some time in the near future, but not right now (this has nothing to do with waiting for a big white wedding I couldn't think of anything less me)

C_Mababejive

Obviously i can only comment generally but all partnerships start with two "good eggs" but by the time they split up/divorce, its every man for himself and many people demand and take what is theirs. I have seen it happen several times with personal friends and families.

Believe me, there is nothing more reassuring than real legal right and entitlement. When it comes to home,that means being either the sole or joint proprietor as registered at HM Land registry. Nothing else matters.

melanzana

Civil Partnership is possible now between opposite sex couples. I am guessing there will have to be legislation drawn up, but I cannot see it being difficult as it will mirror same sex CPs.

An alternative to marriage...... but with a contract that acknowledges your partnership legally. Can't see much difference with marriage though apart from not being "married".

Might be something to discuss without the marriage word? I would look on it as a partnership agreement!

Best of luck.

BlackBird75

melanzana wrote: »

Civil Partnership is possible now between opposite sex couples. I am guessing there will have to be legislation drawn up, but I cannot see it being difficult as it will mirror same sex CPs.

An alternative to marriage...... but with a contract that acknowledges your partnership legally. Can't see much difference with marriage though apart from not being "married".

Might be something to discuss without the marriage word? I would look on it as a partnership agreement!

Best of luck.

At the moment, based purely on money (and ignoring household chores etc) it would be an unequal partnership. Because the "husband" would be contributing more, but a "divorce" may grant him less.

May sound a bit cynical and not romantic etc, but that was the way in which the OP started this discussion.

I don't see the point of moving, just to buy a house "together", when the OP could easily buy a share in the current house.

Personally, I don't see the point in a "civil partnership".
It just seems like a marriage, but one that may not be recognised abroad.
Say you wanted a stop over in Saudi Arabia for example. Would you really want to be the one testing out their adultery laws..?!

Of course, you won't see potential issues like this highlighted by the mainstream media. Because together with the government and their lawyer friends, they have a lot to gain from any such cases....

justme111

OP, I think the fairest way would be you paying the money that you save on rent to the pot from which you both benefit - deposit for future home , holidays , family cars etc. If one wanted to keep all things separate then to pay him half of your savings on rent so that you both benefit equally. Apart from bills of course - bills is a separate issue.

Mutton_Geoff

Starmummy wrote: »

I have lived with my partner since the end of March 2017. He owns the house, It was only him that contributed to the deposit and the house was bought in November 2015

At the time he applied for the mortgage, he would have been asked if anyone over the age of 18 would be living in the house. The terms of the mortgage also usually stipulate that changes in circumstances must be notified to the lender.


I think it is treading on dangerous ground unofficially contributing to a mortgage that the lender is unaware of. Unfortunately "common law" status currently has no legal standing. Even if your child were born of both of you, this wouldn't change anything.


You need a formal contract drawing up to protect you both. As others have said, if the relationship cooled, you potentially stand to lose everything. Let's hope it doesn't but please formalise the arrangements you have.