Advice Urgently Needed.....

jojopo000

once again thanks for all your replies.

We have always ensured all of our children have Clarks shoes and we have just had a new baby but even with her added expense none of the kids go without. We hardly ever go out as feel the money is put to better uses with the children. Hubby gave up a well paid job to look after the kids, we also have a 3 year old and a 7 week old, as we chose to bring the kids into this world and want to ensure they have everything we never had.

The piece of paper I had to sign about the one off payment all but stated we were desperate.

I have tried to pull ex up about his partner and told him some of the stuff that ds said but he didnt believe me and called me a liar and his partner accused me of trying to get him back! DS loves and adores his dad and loves spending time with just him but when she is about he really doesnt enjoy it at all. At first i thought it was just DS being a bit jealous but I was seemingly wrong in thinking that.

I only want my children to have a enjoyable childhood and remember it when they are older not live in a stressed house created by someone who doesnt even live here.

If he went for parental responsibilty would they not ask why he had not applied sooner as we have been parted for over 7 years now.

Also if i wrote to him about the PR he would just laugh at me and probably rip it up. I did point it out to him before and had all the information from the CAB website loaded onto the laptop and told him to read it but he refused.

Once again thanks for all your help.

Jojopo

Stargazer_Lily

If your ex doesn't have a Parental Responsibility order I'd imagine that it would be near impossible for him to get custody of your son - there are well documented cases of RESIDENT fathers not being able to get custody after the death of the mother, so it looks pretty likely that there is not a lot he could do if he did want custody.

I can see where you are coming from with the maintenance payments. Strictly speaking you are entitled to the extra money every month and it looks like the idea that he wouldn't have to do over time and therefore could see your son more often seems to have broken down. Have a good hard think about whether or not you're happy with the arrangements as they stand.

I would seriously recommend that you suggest to your ex that you both attend mediation before your relationship wih him breaks down any further. His new partner sounds like a witch to me and by sorting things out between yourself and himself without the involvement of his new gf or going through the trauma of a court battle (which it sounds increasingly unlikely he'd win) you may be able to sort something out that puts your son first. Although he's probably your least favourite person right now, staying on civil terms with him will make things easier for you and DS in the future.

Lil

P.S. Happy birthday!

skintas_2

happy birthday x x

jojopo000

DS has just come back from school and heard everything last night that she said about me after I called. She called me a F8cking C*unt and why is she phoning my landline in the evening and i have told you to tell her to stop calling and went mentail.
DS said he begged his Dad not to call me today as was my birthday and is so upset about it all.
Am sat here in tears as have had enough.

Shona_3

Sweetie, the short answer is no, so don't lose any more sleep over it.

The bare facts are the courts don't remove a happy healthy child from the stable home of his usual parent because of a few garbled complaints from other. He can't prove he has devoted time, money or much emotion in your son whereas you have evidence of 8 years of caring for his every need. Whether you are on the breadline or a millionaire that is what the courts are interested in.

Your ex is making windy threats to wind you up and you need to see it as that. Stop wasting any more time on him.

PS private agreements don't automatically make him exempt from future payments.... You could go to the CSA tomorrow and get them to start investigations.... Just a thought.

PPS I agree that it is prob in your sons interest for the two of you to improve things between you through mediation.... will save him a bit of heartache.

sethsgran

Please make an appointment with a solicitor to get some advice fear of the unknown is worse than the actual event. You obviously love your child and care for his welfare and that will show through.


PS Happy birthday

floss2

Please don't get upset - it will only upset your children to see you crying.

I would suggest you & your husband sit down later & have a good talk to work out a battle-plan, and agree the tactics.

Then ask your ex to visit when your son is at school, to listen to what you & your husband tell him, about his partner's behaviour & how it is affecting your son. Advise him that he does not have parental responsibility, and that you are seeking legal advice whether the agreement you signed about maintenance is enforceable (he won't know whether you do this or not ) as you have been told that the CSA maintenance would be 15% of his take home pay (again, he won't know whether you want to go down this route).

Your son sounds like a fine young man, who loves his mum but also loves his biological father when he can spend time with him.

Love Floss xx

Dan_Thunder

jojopo000 wrote: »

DS has just come back from school and heard everything last night that she said about me after I called. She called me a F8cking C*unt and why is she phoning my landline in the evening and i have told you to tell her to stop calling and went mentail.
DS said he begged his Dad not to call me today as was my birthday and is so upset about it all.
Am sat here in tears as have had enough.

If that's true then I'd simply ring up your ex and tell him that after speaking to your son he will not be going round to their house again until you feel that it's an appropriate environment for a child to be in.

jojopo000

Thanks for all your help.

I will seek legal advice as need to know where i stand in all this.

I also know that he wouldnt come to chat about it all as isnt that sort or person, he would either refuse or say he was working.

Mediation is no go too as he again wouldnt go for the same reasons as above.

So may have to get my legal advice and then wait and see what his next move is as I dont have the balls to start courts getting involved as I know he would make life really unplesent for me.

All I ever wanted in all of this was for my son to have a decent relationship with his Dad and to make his dad happy by getting along with his gf.

I have 2 other children as well as ds and none of them need to hear or see this.

jojopo

jojopo000

Dan_Thunder wrote: »

If that's true then I'd simply ring up your ex and tell him that after speaking to your son he will not be going round to their house again until you feel that it's an appropriate environment for a child to be in.

He told my hubby this on the way back from school, said he went to bed and she went mental and thats what he heard.