DMP mutual support thread part 13 !!

[Deleted User]

Queen_of_Swords wrote: »

Thank you for your advice. I think it's the shock of facing up to this, that is making me reluctant to jump in with the DMP, after being in denial for so long. But the worry has really got to me and is spoiling my life, and of course as I can only blame myself, I am feeling pretty low. I am so ashamed and don't want any of my family friends or colleagues to know that I am in debt. Somehow it seems easier to say you have a loan rather than be on a DMP, But that's the whole problem, perhaps. Credit is too easy. This thread is helping as I realise many other people are in the same boat and I must take control. Thanks.

Welcome to the thread:). You've done the hardest part which is facing up to your debt problem. I can still remember what that felt like, even 6 years on, after being in total denial for donkey's years:o.

Don't beat yourself up about still being in debt at a somewhat advanced age. I was already retired when I finally realised there was no possible way I could escape from my self-inflicted debt torment unless I asked for help. A SC DMP was the best financial move I ever made:j.


I think the refusal of a consolidation loan for you was definitely for the best:j. It can only prolong the debt rather than address the underlying problem. I've been there myself and know that I just made things worse by feeling complacent and carrying on spending once my debts were consolidated into a lower monthly payment than I'd previously been paying my creditors individually .:o


As for your feeling that it's easier to say you have a loan rather than a DMP, do you mean say it to convince yourself? A consolidation loan is still credit whichever way you look at it and just masks the problem rather than fully addressing it. As for what you tell other people in your social/family circle is entirely up to you. They won't know about your DMP unless you choose to tell them. I had very pressing reasons for not telling my OH that I had crippling debts (and hiding them while appearing to carry on as normal was a massive strain). Looking back, I don't know how I got through it:o. I also didn't tell him about my DMP. We have no joint accounts, all our finances are separate, and we don't open one another's post. Not being married, although living together, we have different surnames so there's no likelihood of letters addressed to Mrs..... arriving and being opened in error:j.


I was very anxious in the pre-DMP days when creditors were phoning all the time on the landline but once on the DMP and I'd asked for all communication to be by post or email all worrying phone calls stopped:j


It's often easier when a partner/friend or family member knows the full situation as a trouble shared is a trouble halved as they say. Sometimes the reassurance and emotional support, not to mention a hug when things get bad can only be for the good. As I say, I chose to forgo all that and it worked for me but it definitely wouldn't for many others. You must do what seems best for you.


Good Luck:beer:. Keep posting and asking any questions you have. We've all been where you are now, mired in debt and unsure what to do. There is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise:j

Queen_of_Swords

Thank you for the replies. Why do I need an emergency fund? I read somewhere about having to have another bank account but I don't think I saw that on Step Change.

Moveslikeagger

You cant have a bank account with a bank you have debts with as they can offset your money in your account and use it to pay your debts. I opened a Barclays account as I have no debts with them. Emergency fund is needed as you cant access credit any more so for example if your central heating breaks, car, washing machine etc etc you will need money to pay for this! I have around 1k emergency fund. I didnt pay my creditors for 2 months to save this.

Queen_of_Swords

Moveslikeagger wrote: »

You cant have a bank account with a bank you have debts with as they can offset your money in your account and use it to pay your debts. I opened a Barclays account as I have no debts with them. Emergency fund is needed as you cant access credit any more so for example if your central heating breaks, car, washing machine etc etc you will need money to pay for this! I have around 1k emergency fund. I didnt pay my creditors for 2 months to save this.

Ok, I understand. I will check out other banks. My debts are with Co-op bank, Halifax and Barclaycard. SC said in their action plan for me,
that my bank may offer me a "clean" account, but maybe I had better open another one. Thank you all again, for this advice and support, I feel like cr*p, just want to curl up in a ball, but I have to pull myself together and get on with this, and reading this advice and positive comments is helping a lot!

sourcrates

Queen_of_Swords wrote: »

Ok, I understand. I will check out other banks. My debts are with Smile (Co-op bank), Halifax and Barclaycard. SC said in their action plan for me,
that my bank may offer me a "clean" account, but maybe I had better open another one. Thank you all again, for this advice and support, I feel like cr*p, just want to curl up in a ball, but I have to pull myself together and get on with this, and reading this advice and positive comments is helping a lot!

Hi,

Bear in mind its a Basic bank account you need, one which requires no credit check, and offers no overdraught, at present you may still qualify for a standard current account, but that s not what you want.

You will need to search for them, nationwide do a good one for example.


There is no shame in your predicament, the majority of people you meet in the street are in debt, most can`t afford the debt they have, but won`t admit it, you have at least admitted you need help, its all down hill from now on, the resources to help you do exist, its just deciding which route to take for the best.

[Deleted User]

sourcrates wrote: »

Hi,

Bear in mind its a Basic bank account you need, one which requires no credit check, and offers no overdraught, at present you may still qualify for a standard current account, but that s not what you want.

You will need to search for them, nationwide do a good one for example.


There is no shame in your predicament, the majority of people you meet in the street are in debt, most can`t afford the debt they have, but won`t admit it, you have at least admitted you need help, its all down hill from now on, the resources to help you do exist, its just deciding which route to take for the best.

I used to bank with Lloyds but owed them loads and opened a Nationwide Basic Account when I started my DMP. Does everything I need to do and their customer service should you ever have to phone them is excellent. I can highly recommend them:j

Queen_of_Swords

sourcrates wrote: »

Hi,

Bear in mind its a Basic bank account you need, one which requires no credit check, and offers no overdraught, at present you may still qualify for a standard current account, but that s not what you want.

You will need to search for them, nationwide do a good one for example.

.

Thanks, I will check that out.

[Deleted User]

Queen_of_Swords wrote: »

Ok, I understand. I will check out other banks. My debts are with Smile (Co-op bank), Halifax and Barclaycard. SC said in their action plan for me,
that my bank may offer me a "clean" account, but maybe I had better open another one. Thank you all again, for this advice and support, I feel like cr*p, just want to curl up in a ball, but I have to pull myself together and get on with this, and reading this advice and positive comments is helping a lot!

I don't think Stepchange mention anything about having an emergency fund. The first I knew of it was through this thread but by then it was a bit late as I was already a couple of months into my DMP.


A lot of banks are part of a bigger banking group so make sure you choose one that isn't under another bank's 'umbrella'. You'll be fine with Nationwide though, they are independent.

Queen_of_Swords

I have just checked Nationwide and it won't let me apply for the Flex Basic because I am not bankrupt and have another UK current account. The next one up is the Flex Account but that has an overdraft facility. So no good I guess? I will sort out what I can do for an emergency fund, meantime.I have stuff I could sell on eBay and hold balance in Paypal until I get bank account sorted out. Thank you all so much for your support and advice.

[Deleted User]

Queen_of_Swords wrote: »

I have just checked Nationwide and it won't let me apply for the Flex Basic because I am not bankrupt and have another UK current account. The next one up is the Flex Account but that has an overdraft facility. So no good I guess? I will sort out what I can do for an emergency fund, meantime.I have stuff I could sell on eBay and hold balance in Paypal until I get bank account sorted out. Thank you all so much for your support and advice.

That's odd:eek:. I certainly wasn't bankrupt and they let me have one. Also, for some strange reason, unlike Santander who closed my current account as soon as I entered a DMP, probably because my overdraft was part of the DMP, Lloyds always kept my current account open and usable throughout my DMP. I never deposited any money in it though as I owed them lots on a credit card.