I’m I being unfair?

hollydays

If we don't hear from the op soon I'd call troll

anna_1977

OP - are you at home all day with the dog on your own, I hope it doesn't sense how you feel - how sad

Ergates

redlove wrote: »

I know the kids would not forgive me and my partner too but I am really feeling so frustrated with this situation. I feel completely unheard and my feelings are not being taken into account

So, to clarify: You want to get rid of the dog that everyone else in your household has bonded with and loves, despite acknowledging that this would upset your partner and your children.

But you're upset because you don't feel *your* feelings are being taken into account.

donnac2558

I call the OP a Troll or a selfish narcissist who only cares about what they want. Hopefully one day the children grow up and dump you in a home as unwanted. She smells we don't want her in our homes

rach_k

Yes you're being unfair, to the dog and to your family.

If the dog is alone with you all day, I'd say you should rehome it (via a local rescue if possible to ensure it gets a decent home rather than going to a shelter), for the dog's sake. I expect it's a miserable life for the poor thing, spending most of its time with you, waiting for his nice people to come home. Yes, your family will hate you and will probably resent you for the rest of their lives but you probably deserve it!

If the dog isn't with you all day (I think being alone all day would be far preferable to being home with you, with your attitude), get a dog walker to do a second walk if your husband doesn't make the one walk a really good, long one.

Then look at ways to keep yourself away from the poor thing. Is it allowed in your bedroom? Do you have a second sitting room that could be dog free? If you can keep at least one room dog free, you might find it easier to cope with.

Red-Squirrel_2

hollydays wrote: »

If we don't hear from the op soon I'd call troll

Looking at the only other thread they’ve started, i’d say not a troll, just a not very nice person.

gloriouslyhappy

This situation sounds so sad all round - I'm sorry you feel your feelings are being ignored, but you do state "I decided" to buy a puppy, and now after three years "I asked and asked for the dog to be rehomed". Perhaps more family discussion before taking actions that impact so many lives, not least the special needs child and the dog, would be better in future.

As your partner looks after the dog, maybe you could sit down with them and try to discuss your feelings allowing them to have their say, that would make you feel better too. It's no good everyone jumping all over you on this forum, you have these strong feelings which need to be worked through. I'm very much a dog-lover but have come across one or two whose company I didn't enjoy, it must be difficult to have a strong personality - which dogs certainly are! - sharing your house. Could you try to see the dog as a character in their own right, and find one or two things you like about them, such as the good they do for your child, the happiness they bring, and take it from there?

A strong dog smell can be most unpleasant when it gets into the soft furnishings - we control ours with regular baths of the dog, and make sure the garden is picked up after her every Wednesday and Sunday without fail (except during heavy snow!). Visitors often comment on the lack of smell as we have an elderly dog who does shed, but the one sofa she is allowed on is covered with those cheap Ikea fleeces for £3-5 which are washed every few days until they look worn, then replaced. I don't recommend air fresheners as they just cover the smell with a layer of perfume, but regular baths, brushing and washing the dog's bedding really will take care of any problems with hair and smells.

Maybe spelling out your feelings in your post has helped a bit - well done for facing up to the situation! Now I suggest you try to look at it differently, and get the family to help implement a new thorough cleaning routine, and see if that eases things. You might never love the dog, but I hope you can feel more tolerant towards your family's four-footed friend.

gloriouslyhappy

ska_lover wrote: »

Yes you are being unfair. Everything you type is just ugly.

Ugly? That's really quite harsh - maybe they are being unfair but poster sounds like they're at their wits end and venting their frustration, we all need to do that sometimes. At least they're asking for opinions and suggestions rather than tying the dog to a lamp post or some other method of cruel abandonment which unscrupulous horrible people sometimes do!

suki1964

I do think you are being unfair to not only the dog, but your children

it was your choice to get a dog

I do appreciate that you have never had a pet before and possibly didn't understand their needs and what a commitment a dog is, but you as an adult should have done your research long before you went looking for a pup

Im a dog lover, Ive had two wonderful dogs in my adult life, and Ive loved them to bits. At the same time Ill be the first to point out the mess they can make, the destruction they can cause, the time they take and the expense

Dogs shouldn't smell. My last dog did, he had an underlying skin complaint and when that flared up, he stank and made wherever he lay stink. So even more work having special shampoos rubbed into him every three days, carpet cleaning, washing blankets etc. But a fit healthy dog shouldn't smell. Is the dog ever bathed or regularly groomed? Daily brushing should be all thats needed. If you have a shedder, do as most people do, take him outside and brush

A dog needs human company and they rely on us to have their needs met. Do you think a lot of your feelings are perhaps guilt? Guilt that your dog isn't having the life you envisioned ?

Perhaps you aren't being heard because your only suggestion to the situation is rehome the dog. There are other solutions. If you don't feel the dog is getting enough stimulation then perhaps pay for a dog walker. Ive had to at times. Lots of people also pay for doggy day care
Explain that you want the dog groomed daily and task the children with that. Explain you don't like the hair everywhere and get the children to get the hoover out. Explain that the marks on the door frames annoy you and get the family to wipe them off

My DH got ducks. I never ever wanted ducks but he had to have them so it was down to him to do all their care. Oh I would make sure they were fed and watered, but I certainly never once cleaned them out. Id clean the hens, but never went near nor by the ducks. He rehomed the ducks, we still have the hens

Red-Squirrel_2

gloriouslyhappy wrote: »

At least they're asking for opinions and suggestions rather than tying the dog to a lamp post or some other method of cruel abandonment which unscrupulous horrible people sometimes do!

You don't get credit for not abandoning your dog.