Sadly too late for me

DawnW

Please contact Samaritans, or another helpline today, and speak to someone. There are several at https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/

When you feel calmer, follow the advice from the above posters, and 1) go to your GP, and 2) contact Stepchange. This is definitely fixable, and probably won't even take that long, if interest on the debt is stopped, as often happens. Most of us on here have been in debt at some stage, even if we aren't now. You are not alone. Stepchange are a free debt advice service who will not judge you. You can find them at https://www.stepchange.org/ The amount you owe is not large by today's standards, and they will be able to help you access a suitable solution, which will enable you (and your dog) to live sustainably while paying off the debt gradually. You won't be able to get credit for several years, but it sounds as though that would probably be a good thing, as you would not have the stress of it.

Stepchange is well known to the financial services industry, and if anyone contacts you in the meantime, just telling them that you are speaking with Stepchange usually gives you a few weeks grace to sort things out with them.

Finally, when you feel up to it, have a read of some of the success stories on this board - often, people post in desperation initially, but before long they sound much more positive, eventually passing on advice to others.

Please, please move away from the idea that it is 'too late' for you, because it most certainly isn't. And your dog doesn't want a new home, he has a perfectly good one with you :heart2:

iammumtoone

It is never too late, there are options, contact step change first thing tomorrow they will help you.


Also please visit the GP asap, it is clear you need to see them as you are passed the stage you can see that letter for what it is. It is a genetic letter sent to everyone in your situation (people just managing debts by paying the minimum). It is clear you are doing this for a reason, you are unable to pay more but many people just pay the minimum because they think thats all they need to pay but they can afford a bit more, it is the latter group that letter is intended to help not those like you. It does not meant you have to pay more it is trying to help those who don't understand that paying more will pay off the debt quicker (they are lots of people who don't realise that)



I can see how sending it to those that fully understand the concept CC of debt but are only just managing on the minimum payments it can be viewed like you did but in the CC company's defense they don't know which group their customer are in so have no choice but to send it to all.

jools1985

Martin, you have 2 major things going on here - your depression and your debts and they will most likely be linked.



It isn't too late for you. As others have said here seek help with your debts - via Stepchange or another debt charity. You must also make an urgent appointment to see your GP who will be able to offer support and counselling. The Samaritans can always provide a listening ear for you.


You feel helpless and desperate at the minute, but you really are not alone. Many of us on this forum have similar issues to yours and we all support each other in this wonderful online community. Please don't give up on yourself - we won't give up on you. As Dawn has said above your dog wants you not a new owner. Give him a bug hug today talk to him cry at him. Dogs are also great listeners. (hugs) for you x

enthusiasticsaver

I will reiterate what others have said. The new rules will certainly affect many others on this forum but the intention is not to drive you to despair. There are ways to sort this out.

Any debt problem is fixable. It is certainly not something to risk your life or mental health over. A trip to the GP should be your first task as undoubtedly you are depressed not only due to losing your parents but being overwhelmed by uncontrolled debt.

Stepchange is a free debt charity and they can go through your circumstances and advise which debt solution would be best for you. A debt counsellor at CAB may also be able to direct you.


It is never too late to deal with this. Do you have a friend or relative to confide in as this will help you too?

TriggerHappy

Mate,

You are most definitely not on your own or in a unique situation. You have a huge wealth of options and help available to you.

I came from having close to £40k of debt with a gambling, alcohol and drug problem. I've seen the darkness and beaten it. you can too.

Debt is just that, debt. It's not terminal cancer or a bus heading towards you even if it feels like it at times. You just need to open up, speak to people, get it off your chest and seek the correct help.

You need to call the Samaritans as a matter of urgency, you need to talk to someone and get a real human response from someone in a real human conversation - as good as these forum posts are, they have their limits.

Secondly, call your GP first thing in the morning to ask for an emergency appointment and open up to them.

Third step, you need to call and speak to a debt charity - I used Step Change and can't speak highly enough of them. You will come away from that first call feeling more hopeful because they can and will help - they've helped an endless list of souls like us.

Honestly, at this stage your debts are the least of your concerns but they hang around your neck like an anchor so you need to let it go as it's too heavy.

Willing2Learn

I just wanted to add to all the great advice and support you have been given in the previous replies.

If you are feeling psychologically frail, mentally low and at a point of utter despair, to the point where you may harm yourself or attempt suicide, then you need to call yourself an ambulance. Let the medical profession act according to your need. You will be taken to hospital and be assessed by a psychiatrist, social worker or psychiatric nurse. They will put in place a plan to help and support you through this difficult time. Don't be too proud to ask for help

Edit:
Sometimes the hospital can offer a voluntary admission, where you are free to come and go as you please, but will be treated as an in-patient.
Sometimes the hospital will offer a Home Treatment plan. Where the psychiatrist and nurses treat you in the comfort of your home. They bring the medication and administer it in your own home. You are again treated as though you are an in-patient.
Other times they will refer you for home treatment by your local Community Mental Health Team (a mixed medical and social worker team). This is for patients whose need is not as great.
All other cases are referred back to the GP for ongoing care. They may recommend specific medication to be prescribed by your GP. They may also recommend talking therapy.

worriedDan

Willing2Learn wrote: »

I just wanted to add to all the great advice and support you have been given in the previous replies.

If you are feeling psychologically frail, mentally low and at a point of utter despair, to the point where you may harm yourself or attempt suicide, then you need to call yourself an ambulance. Let the medical profession act according to your need. You will be taken to hospital and be assessed by a psychiatrist, social worker or psychiatric nurse. They will put in a place a plan to help and support you through this difficult time. Don't be too proud to ask for help

Fantastic advice from Willingtolearn.

There is no shame in admitting that you need some help with your mental health. Mental health doesn't discriminate. I am a 37 year old married father with a good job, nice family, house and friends and yet there were points last year when I felt like I was never gonna get rid of the dark cloud that I had hanging over me. For several months I found each day a struggle. I took the plunge, spoke to my GP and got the support and medication that I needed, and things have improved! It takes time, and there will be bumps along the way, but you CAN get past this.

please take care of yourself. for now, B****cks to the debt - you will sort that out, but first of all you need to focus on your health and wellbeing.

SpagBol

You've had fantastic advice above, I just wanted to offer my support and say it isn't too late, please contact your GP and Stepchange and keep posting on here. It can be a huge relief to realise you aren't alone and people here can offer very practical advice and emotional support.


Let us know how you're getting on.:)

Former_MSE_Andrea

Hey Martin R, I've PM'd you. Take care. Andrea

[Deleted User]

Hey Martin R,

You can do this, it is never too late.

I hope you have managed to speak with someone be that your GP or a charity of some sort who will be able to fully support you throughout this journey.

Dxxx