Sadly too late for me

knightstyle

Great to see lots of people on here giving support and advice.
There is a free book with examples of people who have "come back" after thinking it is too late for them. It is about CAP, a free service given by Christians to every body no matter what they believe.
https://capuk.org/about-us/the-cap-story/journeys-of-hope
So have a look and remember there are lots of good people out there who will help for free, do not pay anyone for the help you need.

[Deleted User]

sourcrates wrote: »

Bit worrying reading what started out as a perfectly normal post, suddenly descend into talk of suicide because of money, must admit its been bothering me all weekend.

Ditto. However, it was the heading that stopped me in my tracks.

TheBiggerPicture

Dear Martin
Please dont feel so hopeless. 12k really isnt the end of the world and isnt alot of money in the grand scheme of things, even if it feels that way. Things are clearly getting on top of you and its time to take a step back and take a breather until you can think rationally. I think you need to stop thinking of others, buying things for people and think of yourself for a change. You can tackle this when you feel stronger. Im sad hearing you feel so overwhelmed. Have some early nights and be kind to yourself. I dont know if any of this little bits of advice will help you but I'll tell you whats helped me. I really started making inroads into my debts by setting my alarm for 5am every morning before anyone was up, sitting there with a nice cup of tea and updating my diary. I do bill payments to my bills every few days. Any time Ive got anything spare it goes on it. It gets quite addictive and satisfying seeing the figures decrease. Ive cleared two huge utility bills in 5 months doing this little routine and I hope it can help you. I go through my fridge and freezer and work out what I have and write a menu for the week. Anything I need to make it into meals, I write a list for and stick to it when I go to the supermarket. So I know exactly where I am for the week. I also take gas and electricity metre readings on tge 15th of every month and submit them online so Im always on track with that. Ive got other bills to pay now but Im trying to make it fun believe it or not, like I set myself little goals like not using the heating, i have a timer in my kitchen for the boiler and when i press it, it turns the heating on for ten minutes. Before its on for that ten minutes, I'll put anything that needs drying on the radiators dotted around the house. Just silly things really but it all saves money. I make sure the family dont go crazy on the lighting. Ive been stockpiling wood all summer and been burning thst. Its all satisfying and I know Im doing every little thkng to try to pay it. Try and get in the right mindset and see it as a challenge. I always make sure ive got in nice tea and coffee cos it keeps me going throughout the day, got to have some treat I guess. Other than that I have cut back majorly. I do feel like im living like a Victorian in the past sometimes and can get tearful and !!!!ed off with it all but if I get like that, then I realise Im just tired and go to bed early. I always feel better the next day! Anyway I hope youre ok and please keep posting. I hope i may have helped in some way, even if its to know youre certainly not alone.
All the best and chin up!

-taff

Hey Martin


I see you were back on early this morning, I hope that means you read all the messages and you can now see there is a way out and it's not the one you were referring to.


Please don't be embarassed or ashamed, or worried about posting again, no one will judge, debt is something most of us have been in at one time or another, and it can easily get on top of you if you don't have an understanding of how things are not ever insurmountable.


Hopefully, you can see there is help for you, you don't have to do it alone, and that your mental state needs some help. Get yourself some help, there's no shame in it, I've done it myself. Everyone has low points, the trick is to realise you need some help and not be worried about asking for it. You don't have to be the rock....

barbiedoll

Hello Martin.

I know that everyone on here is really hoping that you’re reading our replies. Almost all of us on this board have been in your position, we all understand that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you hear the postman delivering yet another credit card bill.

My husband and I had debts of over £30,000. With the help of Stepchange, and the amazing folk on here (where I found out about Stepchange in the first place!) we turned it around and got our life back. We’re still paying off our debts but we have seen our balances get smaller each month, we’ve stayed away from debt ever since, and we’re so grateful to have found this place, it really is a lifesaver.

Ironically...one of our easiest creditors to deal with was Capital One. They stopped the interest and charges as soon as we went into our DMP, and my outstanding balance was finally paid off, two months ago!

I promise you, there IS a solution to your situation, you have come to exactly the right place. Please hang on in there, we can help, and it will get better.

Take care.

halp...

Martin, are you there?

It’s not too late, please don’t give up.

StepChange, and these wonderful boards - and loads of other resources - are available for you.

It might not sort itself out but it can be sorted out.

You might not even have to pay it all back - lenders can agree to reduce debts significantly.

I’m £35,000 in debt (credit cards) and although I’ve thought of suicide as a way out I KNOW there are ways to deal with it that will allow us to come out the other side much stronger, and even to help others once our own situations are sorted.

You’re a generous person - an amazing present from you would be to help others get out of debt too once you can see the light at the end of this long tunnel. That’s worth so much more than material gifts.

Please read these forums for ideas, the debt-free roll of honour for inspiration, and come back - we’re all in this together and we can all help you get through this.

another_casualty

Hello Martin .
You have done the bravest thing so far ( imho), by posting on here .
The amount of goodwill, kindness and financial guidance in such a short time says it all .
I admire you for not wanting any kind of pity as such and are trying to just get an answer rather than go into much detail.
Obviously , talks of ending it all are ( rightfully ) sending alarm bells ringing to all and sundry reading this .

However, I ( possibly we) would like to know more about you , so that you can get back on track and hopefully put these tragedies behind you in time .

My questions : are you working ? Have you friends / hobbies ?
I assume you're pretty young . That in itself can make you strong enough for the future ,and these mistakes are put down to experience

As for the dog .. he/ she doesn't want a miserable owner . Take it everywhere . Make it a therapeutic dog . Give the dog a new found confidence . A new lease of life .

I hope you make the right decisions , and things improve .

Best wishes

leninspot

I've felt desperate too in the past so I do know what you are feeling. Somehow, I managed to phone someone about a debt management plan and it changed everything. I am still paying off a debt much bigger than yours BUT it's manageable AND I feel back in control of my life. You too can be in this position but you MUST get some help. I don't mean for a minute to trivialise how you feel but if you can't do it for yourself do it for your dog. He or she loves you and needs you to be yourself again. Please trust me on this things DO change and change for the better. Just take one day at a time & trust what everyone who replies to you here tells you.
Take care x

Toomuchdebt

Hope you're ok.

-taff

They haven't logged back in again since the tenth....