Paying for 25 year old child

maman

BucksLady wrote: »

If this is how you genuinely feel, then there is nothing anyone can say that will change matters. Maybe you should be honest with your child and explain how you actually do feel

I can't imagine telling my child that I begrudge them £20 a week but it takes all sorts. To explain that you've got into debt is one thing but begrudge is quite another IMO.

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

The OP has known about this for nearly 3 months after asking on MSE in June - I'm surprised she's still going on about it.

You're right but part of the problem is that she posted a few ambiguous facts then was surprised that she didn't get a sympathetic hearing. The main problem was that the vast majority of posters assumed a good income would be sufficient to pay the £20. I still don't know whether the £30K is gross or net income.

beanielou

Just going to put in my pennyworth.
I have been a lone parent for many years.
My DS is 25 this month & is now in his 5th year of University & I dont give him a set amount in a month or whatever.
I would never ever see him stuck & often transfer him money when I sense he needs it or pay for bits & bobs I know he needs.
I suppose everyone is different.
My income is below the tax threshold.
I love him & I am so proud of him.

foolofbeans

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

I read it as being for the couple - I doubt that many people earning £20k would describe themselves as high earners, which explains the rather strange discussion.

I apologise for the confusion. I meant 'high income' as defined by the government as we are over the £25k figure that enables access to benefits and maximum student loan.

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I agree, I also think it’s odd to talk about net income as that’s not how these things are usually worked out.
Our income is £30k net and just over £40k gross. I understand that benefits and loans are worked out on the gross figure but that is not the figure that we have in our bank account each month.
My net income is low compared to my gross due to various deductions, mostly my choice, a number of things can affect the difference in the figures.

Exactly. So the gross figure is a bit of a misnomer.

foolofbeans

maman wrote: »

I can't imagine telling my child that I begrudge them £20 a week but it takes all sorts. To explain that you've got into debt is one thing but begrudge is quite another IMO.
I begrudge the fact that I am expected to subsidise a 25 year old. If I started a post saying my adult child is asking me to keep giving them £20 a week I'm sure there would have been a very different response.
You're right but part of the problem is that she posted a few ambiguous facts then was surprised that she didn't get a sympathetic hearing. The main problem was that the vast majority of posters assumed a good income would be sufficient to pay the £20. I still don't know whether the £30K is gross or net income.

The £30k is net. Gross is over £40k but we pay tax, NI and pension. I guess I should have been more specific to stop confusion but it's all subjective isn't it? Some may think £30k in your bank account is a good income. Living in the south and with a larger family than the 2.4 kids means it doesn't go that far. Trying to be responsible and deal with debts means we have to budget and so £20 is a big deal.

foolofbeans

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

The OP has known about this for nearly 3 months after asking on MSE in June - I'm surprised she's still going on about it.

I asked about the independent status on the student board in June but didn't find out about that the start date is classed as 1st Sept until August. But I shall take your point and bow out of this thread.
Thank you to all who have made comments, I have taken them all on board and will continue to contribute for this last year and make plans for the future when younger children may go to uni.

Spendless wrote: »

I think the thing is not everyone realises that the min loan isn't always enough to cover the accommodation costs.
I recall less than a year ago my son on discovering he would receive the min asking 'how can I go?' That's when I told him it was a conversation I'd have with his Dad but my suggestion was we pay his rent and maybe his travel costs. As it happens where he's chosen is within walking distance to most places so it's just accommodation.

I am still surprised that the loan given is not enough to cover basic living costs. Your son is blessed to have parents that can afford to subsidise his education.

meer53

foolofbeans wrote: »

I asked about the independent status on the student board in June but didn't find out about that the start date is classed as 1st Sept until August. But I shall take your point and bow out of this thread.
Thank you to all who have made comments, I have taken them all on board and will continue to contribute for this last year and make plans for the future when younger children may go to uni.

I am still surprised that the loan given is not enough to cover basic living costs. Your son is blessed to have parents that can afford to subsidise his education.

I still don't understand why you are surprised ! It's not something that is hidden away somewhere, the information is available for anyone to see. Your daughter can sort out the difference between her loan and what she needs to live on, you just don't seem to want to have this conversation with her !

Poor_Single_lady

I don't understand how people can be surprised that children are expensive. And that they are for life.

Some of my parent-friends often say that parenting is much harder than you realise before you have kids.
I just think actually it's pretty obvious that being a parent is hard work and expensive. That's not some secret that you only discover when you have kids.

But on the flip side it's also pretty obvious if you rely on bank-of-mum-and-dad then you don't live a life of luxury and you tone down the spending.

Ames

Something you need to think about and start planning for is if your younger children are likely to overlap so more than one is at uni at the same time. As I understand it the student loan company don't take that into account and expect you to support both/all at the same rate each.

Spendless

foolofbeans wrote: »

I am still surprised that the loan given is not enough to cover basic living costs. Your son is blessed to have parents that can afford to subsidise his education.

A lot of that is chance ( An insurance pay-out, buying a property a long time ago and never moving because too expensive to do so, amongst other things) rather than forward planning. I've said on here several times that I didn't know how the maintenance grant worked and even if I'd known, I'd have 'sort of' assumed even the min would meet all accommodation costs with perhaps a little bit left over. The price of Leeds Beckett accommodation was a shocker. As DS fell in love with the next (cheaper) place he visited, I never looked into the costs elsewhere, so am glad another poster on here confirmed how dear they were.

BTW - I've just put a £40K income into the student loan calculator, it gives me that she'd get just over £6,800 to live on as a loan. Surely that plus her wages is enough for her to manage on?

silvercar

I'm surprised schools and colleges don't give more guidance.

When students are choosing their 5 options for UCAS, they should be looking at the costs of accommodation (both halls for year 1 and rentals for subsequent years) as well as courses/ job prospects/ likely grade offers/ part time working potential.

t may be obvious to "proper grown ups" that London is more expensive to live in than say Liverpool, but maybe students don't consider this.

By younger son had Bristol as one of his options and we discussed that it was a more expensive city than his other choices.