Paying for 25 year old child

happyandcontented

I think it just really comes down to the fact that some people are forward planners and some are not.

silvercar

If it was just me the OP who had remained ignorant I could accept that, however if that was the case, no blog by Martin would exist where it states that people have approached him saying about the money not being enough for rent.

You can't have it both ways. The fact that Martin wrote a blog shows that there was some awareness.

In my mind there are two issues:
1. The (max) loan is not sufficient to cover a student's budget.
2. A lot of people are relying on their parents topping up the loan to the full entitlement.

The first may be more of an issue in high rent areas.

meer53

I'm not aiming this at the OP as they have already being paying for their daughter at Uni, but i think some parents these days just assume that their children will be able to go to Uni without them making any contribution at all. They see Uni as further education, the same as 6th form. I don't think there should be discussions about family income at 6th form but i do think that students should be made aware of the costs of going to Uni. Whether they pass this on to their parents is debatable but of course responsible parents (and students) will look into this themselves anyway.

maman

happyandcontented wrote: »

I agree it was a conversation we had with our kids quite early on, around the time they took 'options'. What would you like to do and how do you see yourself achieving that? From there we discussed the avenues they might take, inevitably, University came up at that point as they all wanted careers that needed a degree.

At that point, I began to research online everything to do with that route including; student loans, league tables, facilities, open days, accommodation costs etc, etc.

That's good for families that can afford (albeit with forward planning) to support the child in whatever their ambitions are.


Discussing family finances with children can have a downside too. I feel very sorry for children brought up in a 'we can't afford that' sort of atmosphere.


A young man I know with really good grades is 'choosing' not to go to university. He says he doesn't want to and plans to work during the day and do a course part time in the evenings that I believe will lead to a degree eventually. That sounds very admirable. Part of me says he's got his head screwed on and is sensible with money. I can't help feeling that he'll miss out on the experience and that the fact that his mum is a single parent and he's seen signs of money being tight (downsizing home for example) has influenced him.

Stoke

I was lucky enough to attend Uni on the old fees, so it was still in my opinion, worthwhile. It's a bit pricey now. Perhaps I would go a different route if I was 18 again.

I had a part time job. I worked in a pub. Was actually a really enjoyable place to work and developed my interpersonal skills. I had a fair few customers who you wouldn't expect either..... this wasn't even a posh pub (was pretty rough actually) but had a few footballers come in, plenty of former footballers etc. Was good, quite miss it now thinking about it

pickledonionspaceraider

It give me a wry smile when I read about people who expect to not have to help their kids out once they reach adulthood


You have a lot to learn

happyandcontented

maman wrote: »

That's good for families that can afford (albeit with forward planning) to support the child in whatever their ambitions are.


Discussing family finances with children can have a downside too. I feel very sorry for children brought up in a 'we can't afford that' sort of atmosphere.


A young man I know with really good grades is 'choosing' not to go to university. He says he doesn't want to and plans to work during the day and do a course part time in the evenings that I believe will lead to a degree eventually. That sounds very admirable. Part of me says he's got his head screwed on and is sensible with money. I can't help feeling that he'll miss out on the experience and that the fact that his mum is a single parent and he's seen signs of money being tight (downsizing home for example) has influenced him.

Our conversation at that point wasn't about finance per se. It was about how they intended to achieve whatever goal they had in life, how hard they saw themselves working to achieve that aim. Primarily, it was to focus their minds on the fact that they were responsible for getting the grades to go further in their chosen fields or for finding another route that interested them.

Later, it became about how the student loan system worked and what sacrifices they would have to make to go to university and live away from home on x amount of income when compared to living at home whilst studying. I agree we were in the fortunate position of being able to fund the loan shortfall if they chose the former, but that element of the discussion was much later down the line.

maman

happyandcontented wrote: »

Our conversation at that point wasn't about finance per se. It was about how they intended to achieve whatever goal they had in life, how hard they saw themselves working to achieve that aim. Primarily, it was to focus their minds on the fact that they were responsible for getting the grades to go further in their chosen fields or for finding another route that interested them.

Later, it became about how the student loan system worked and what sacrifices they would have to make to go to university and live away from home on x amount of income when compared to living at home whilst studying. I agree we were in the fortunate position of being able to fund the loan shortfall if they chose the former, but that element of the discussion was much later down the line.

Yes, I think that's a sensible line of discussion. Of course, young people do need to take responsibility both for hard work and spending.


It's just a fine line between wanting them to be responsible and making them feel guilty and/or responsible for their parents' finances. I don't think children should be mollycoddled but I think most parents want to protect their children from harsh reality whenever possible or, at least, introduce them gently.


In OP's case it wasn't the child's fault that the mum just discovered her birthday was too late to qualify as independent, or that the family was in debt or that they'd chosen to have a larger family. Yet the parent was resentful . It's one thing to be resentful of government policy, another to feel resentful of your child.

Tabbytabitha

maman wrote: »

That's good for families that can afford (albeit with forward planning) to support the child in whatever their ambitions are.


Discussing family finances with children can have a downside too. I feel very sorry for children brought up in a 'we can't afford that' sort of atmosphere.


A young man I know with really good grades is 'choosing' not to go to university. He says he doesn't want to and plans to work during the day and do a course part time in the evenings that I believe will lead to a degree eventually. That sounds very admirable. Part of me says he's got his head screwed on and is sensible with money. I can't help feeling that he'll miss out on the experience and that the fact that his mum is a single parent and he's seen signs of money being tight (downsizing home for example) has influenced him.

In that situation he'd get comparatively generous finance to study a degree traditionally - it sounds like he feels he needs to bring money into the family home which is indeed admirable.

Tabbytabitha

maman wrote: »

Yes, I think that's a sensible line of discussion. Of course, young people do need to take responsibility both for hard work and spending.


It's just a fine line between wanting them to be responsible and making them feel guilty and/or responsible for their parents' finances. I don't think children should be mollycoddled but I think most parents want to protect their children from harsh reality whenever possible or, at least, introduce them gently.


In OP's case it wasn't the child's fault that the mum just discovered her birthday was too late to qualify as independent, or that the family was in debt or that they'd chosen to have a larger family. Yet the parent was resentful . It's one thing to be resentful of government policy, another to feel resentful of your child.

It might well be the child's fault that s/he didn't start university until well into the twenties but without fulfilling the criteria to be considered an independent student.