Paying for 25 year old child

Tabbytabitha

Spendless wrote: »

I personally know 2 diff people who have told their children that they can only go to a local Uni and commute whilst living at home, because they will receive the min loan. One is a relative who has twins and they can't afford to subsidise both at the same time.

Will they be charging them board and lodging while living at home?

Spendless

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

Will they be charging them board and lodging while living at home?

No idea. They'll need to pay commuting costs out of their loan, which will be nearly £200 per month.

peachyprice

annandale wrote: »

I come from a family where I probably wasn't expected to amount to much. My mum had me at 19. She had me on the Thursday and was back at uni on the Monday. Because I was ill and in intensive care and in those days young mums were not treated well. She had to fight tooth and nail even to get into the ward to see me. Just as well she got in in the end because she was the person who told nurses that my legs were blue.


She was regarded as being reckless and !!!!less for having me at 19 even though she was married.

She has a degree and two post grads. I have a degree and two post grads. She is a fabulous person. And parent.

Her family weren't rich. My uncle. Her brother got a 2:1 degree in English.

I know many people who who have been patented poorly who have rich parents and people who are poor who are great parents.

I worked in homeless units for 20 years. I have seen many kids who have rich parents go off the rails.

I'm not poorly educated and I was not poorly parented. Yes there are poor people who struggle to parent but disadvantage can do that to some people who maybe haven't had the best start themselves.

Aye. Pompous ain't the word.

No more pompous than your sweeping generalisation that because a family earns over a certain amount they have spare income beyond those on a lower income.

pickledonionspaceraider

peachyprice wrote: »

No more pompous than your sweeping generalisation that because a family earns over a certain amount they have spare income beyond those on a lower income.

I don't get it....If a family earns well, why would they not have more spare income than a poorer family?


I mean other than basic food / bills - what are richer families spending their money on? Un-necessary luxuries? Holidays? Bad money choices and debt? Over reaching on house choices ending up with massive mortgages? Over reaching on school fees? Purchasing expensive items? Why would they not have savings or a safety net?

maman

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

I don't get it....If a family earns well, why would they not have more spare income than a poorer family?


I mean other than basic food / bills - what are richer families spending their money on? Un-necessary luxuries? Holidays? Bad money choices and debt? Over reaching on house choices ending up with massive mortgages? Over reaching on school fees? Purchasing expensive items? Why would they not have savings or a safety net?

Although the discussion has widened, that's exactly the position the OP was in when they started the thread.


She said the family had a good income but was in so much debt that they wanted to stop giving her daughter £20 a week to supplement her loans although they'd promised in advance to help. Added to this they felt resentful because the 'child' had managed to work/save and could afford a holiday.

silvercar

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

I don't get it....If a family earns well, why would they not have more spare income than a poorer family?


I mean other than basic food / bills - what are richer families spending their money on? Un-necessary luxuries? Holidays? Bad money choices and debt? Over reaching on house choices ending up with massive mortgages? Over reaching on school fees? Purchasing expensive items? Why would they not have savings or a safety net?

Seriously? Most people balance their expenditure with their income. If you have a higher income, you can afford higher expenditure - whether that is a more expensive home, better cars, more children, better holidays.......

annandale

Except the Op and her husband are high earners and are struggling to afford to give their child at university 20 pounds a week.

Tabbytabitha

silvercar wrote: »

Seriously? Most people balance their expenditure with their income. If you have a higher income, you can afford higher expenditure - whether that is a more expensive home, better cars, more children, better holidays.......

But, apart from the children and, possibly, the home, those are things you can change. Why can't a more moneyed family go without expensive holidays or trade down to more basic cars for a few years so they can help their children at university?

annandale

I bet living on 25k a year is more of a struggle than living on 100k.

Hands down.

ska_lover

silvercar wrote: »

Seriously? Most people balance their expenditure with their income. If you have a higher income, you can afford higher expenditure - whether that is a more expensive home, better cars, more children, better holidays.......

Or they may be careful their money and do grown up stuff, like financial planning for the future

In the sense of this thread - Buying luxury items, but then begrudge spending £20 a week on basic items for their own offspring..just stinks imo..and I am not sure why this would equate to being able to 'afford' more children either

Many lower income earners manage to put buy savings for future uni funds, over years, - and it amazes me why any high earner (would assume fairly intelligent to be earning well) would not do the same, as it is hardly a surprise that kids grow up

Some people need a lesson in priorities and planning for the future

Will the same people be shocked when retirement sneaks up on them, because they forgot to consider a retirement fund whilst jet setting around the world

Priorities are backwards

Having the latest car, or foreign holiday to brag about on the golf course, don't mean squat if your own kids have no respect for you