Yikes!

shelly

macchicken wrote:

DONT ask without a ring, its so sad when that happens! girls tend to love things even more if their man has really tried hard to get it right for them.

As for the two months salary thing, i might have guessed id be the evil lady for that one. Check any jewellers guide they will reccomend a similar ammount. Like i said before thats only a guide and it is more important to get the right ring!

I think for something as important as an engagement ring its value and not cost that needs to be addressed!
There are places where one should be more important than the other!

I can only speak for myself here but I don't agree with the first line.....My hubby didn't have a ring when he proposed to me.I thought it was great that he was going to let me chose my own.When I did choose my own I asked him in the shop what he would have chosen for me and it was not my cup of tea so to speak!..lol....If he chooses it and you don't like it you either have to keep it or speak up and tell him you hate it because otherwise you have to look at on your finger for the rest of your life.
And the 2 months salary thing.....You say to check any jewellers guide....of course they are going to say that,they want more ££££ from you and yours!

fruitbat_2

Who said it had to cost £2000? The jeweller? (well they would) Your fiance (oh dear) Some magazine article? (ignore them) I think the 2 month rule originated in the USA, well it would as they generally like things bigger and more vulgar. One month is more accepted over here, but really who cares?

Yes its important to buy something special, and to some people that tranlates as expensive, to some that would just mean something that your fiance will love as she has chosen it (sorry I'm assuming you're a man forgive me if otherwise) some will think you should choose it yourself if you are making the gesture. It could be very special to go to an independent jeweller together and have something designed which you both have a say in. I personally think any girl who demands a ring costing at least £xxxx is forgetting that being proposed to is a romantic gesture not a 'marry me cause I'll indebt myself to buy you nice things.'
Neither of you should forget that getting in engaged is the first step to getting married, which can be far far more expensive, so it may be worth saving up for that.
I personally have a beautiful diamond ring which my not long graduated boyfriend spent as much as he could reasonably afford on, once he had bought a plane ticket to come to Japan and ask me to marry him. I do know how much it cost, and its less than either his or my wedding ring, which we had specially made.
Perhaps the ultimate proposal would be to buy a cheapo ring from accessorize /argos to hide in a cake/bunch of flowers/roast chicken, or however you make your romantic gesture, then once accepted, you could choose a proper ring together (with you setting the budget if you're paying).
If she loves you that much she'll be delighted with the argos one! Good luck with your proposal, however you do it.

jellyhead

is anyone old enough to remember the pepsi ringpull ad :rotfl: it's a good idea to use something as a temporary ring, as shelly said i liked choosing my own ring.

hubby said he would have chosen yellow gold with a large diamond because 'it's traditional' and he assumed i'd be upset if he didn't buy what most girls would want - he doesn't like yellow gold himself and i thought he'd have known that i don't like it either. if he'd chosen the angagement ring we'd have both had yellow weddings rings to go with my yellow engagement ring. i would have grown to love it because it would be special, a symbol of our engagement but i have to say i really love the ring we chose together, and he likes it too.

macchicken

Oh my god he asked without a ring!!!!!!!!!! eeekkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!

If your asking someone to marry you, you should know them well enough to get the ring right without getting them to chose it themself.

Mr macchicken said he felt if he'd asked without a ring it would have looked like he hadnt really thought about it!

shelly

macchicken wrote:

Oh my god he asked without a ring!!!!!!!!!! eeekkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!

If your asking someone to marry you, you should know them well enough to get the ring right without getting them to chose it themself.

Mr macchicken said he felt if he'd asked without a ring it would have looked like he hadnt really thought about it!

lol....I see what ur saying but hubby knows I change my mind like the weather.He thought it was better for me to chose my own and be 100% happy with it.I guess this doesn't work for everyone.Also it wouldn't have bothered me if I hadn't got a ring at all because I was just so chuffed that he asked me to marry him.We had been together 10 yrs on the day he asked me and sadly his mum had died the previous month so I wasn't worried about him not getting a ring as he had other things on his mind.As I said before....the ring he thought I would have liked was not my cup of tea!! lol

maggie1976

My now DH and I went to the jewellers to look at rings before we'd even got engaged! We hadn't planned to buy one that day, but we ended up with the guy designing my ring on the back of an order book and DH agreeing to go back when it was ready. I knew he had it, but I hadn't seen it 'in the flesh' so to speak. He eventually proposed on our holiday in the south of France and the ring was perfect. It didn't cost 1 month's salary but I love it as much now as I did then.

If he'd proposed to me without the ring, I'd still have said yes, and we'd have gone to the shop when we got home. It really wasn't important to me that he had the ring when he proposed, it just happened that way because we'd done it that way round.

Slinky

maggie1976 wrote:

My now DH and I went to the jewellers to look at rings before we'd even got engaged! We hadn't planned to buy one that day, but we ended up with the guy designing my ring on the back of an order book and DH agreeing to go back when it was ready. I knew he had it, but I hadn't seen it 'in the flesh' so to speak. He eventually proposed on our holiday in the south of France and the ring was perfect. It didn't cost 1 month's salary but I love it as much now as I did then.

If he'd proposed to me without the ring, I'd still have said yes, and we'd have gone to the shop when we got home. It really wasn't important to me that he had the ring when he proposed, it just happened that way because we'd done it that way round.

Off topic a bit but the above started me thinking.... Personally, I've never understood this thing about "we're going to get engaged on such and such a date". What's the point of it. There's no suprise, the answer to the question is presumably already known. My other half proposed last week and we consider we were engaged from the point I said yes. When I told my neighbour my OH had proposed, she said 'are you going to get engaged?' Eh? I thought we already were!

No disrespect to you or your other half or anybody else who has done things like this, but I'm never understood this concept!

System

xbox wrote:

I've always believed that an engagement ring ought to be anout one months pay....so cheap aint an option!

Damn I was short changed!!!!! :mad:

nadnad

My advice - take your girlfriend into town and casually stop at a jewellers window - look at the watches or something - girls always (myself included) look at the engagement rings see which one she likes - it may not be anywhere near £2k. (This is what my (now) husband did with me). However, if it is a platinum ring shes after I think you'll be hard pressed to get one for much under £2k - the option here of course is to go for white gold. Anyway I'm sure your girlfriend wouldn't want to put you into debt over a ring.

Another thing - how are you paying for it - if cash then haggle - jewellry is greatly marked up there is always room for maneouvre. If you're paying it off then try to get as much of a deposit as you can and make sure you get the rest on 0% finance - if not put it on a 0% credit card.

Hope she says yes!!

spendaholic

Mine was a family heirloom and so, free.