the hedgehog's balloons.

themadvix

Sorry to hear things haven't been easy lately.

I know next to nothing about benefits, but presumably once they end it will be because DD2 is an adult? If she's not able to care for herself/live independently by that point, will there not be other benefits available to you? A lot can happen in 4 years too, so I wouldn't get too worried about it yet. She may be in a position by then that you'll be able to work part time perhaps (I think in the past you've mentioned that she can be quite difficult - but some of that must be being a teenager?!), or an opportunity might arise that would allow you to work from  home/for yourself/very flexibly.

In the meantime, you sound like you've been very productive with all the planting and small things. I know taking control, even in a small way, helps me to feel better, so I hope it's helping you!

Spring is on its way too!

Karmacat

Hello HB - that must have been hard to accept about the job, when you're used to having a job.  I second what madvix is saying, about the evolution of DD2 or the benefits she's entitled to, or the benefits you're entitled to in looking after her, or being able to work from home in some way.  She and I both work from home (past tense, in my case!) and julicorn does too, she has an etsy side gig that brings in a fair amount of money.  Taking control really does help, though its really rough at the time. 

the_cross_rabbit

just lost a massive post. Where is the angry emoji when you need it!!!!!!!!!
Thanks themadvix and karmacat for the advice, I'm not totally closed off from the idea of work been a thing in the future or other avenues of money streams happening or that DD2 behaviour (probably horomones), and health in the future will improve to the extent I can go back to work. To be honest though the constant what ifs or buts though were making me really, really ill and were preventing me from functioning properly. So by deciding that it (but mimes its still a possibilty) its not going to happen I really feel that I can now concentrate on the here and now, the rest will just have to wait for now. Not sure if I've explained myself very well there.
Anyway on a different note I've open an online ISA so I can tilly tidy into it to my hearts content and take the money out a coupe times of year to pay of extra off the mortgage. I gone with a bank that although they are not paying the best interest, I know that they with invest my money ethically.
The plan for the rest of the day is to try and have a general clean, spend time on my essay (super boring) and more all the newly sown seeds upstairs onto the big windowsill and reclaim my dining room table. I still have 300 onions to plant but the weather is conspiring against me ( i count myself lucky thats my only issue with the weather).
Hope you all manage to stay dry
CRX

themadvix

Totally understand where you’re coming from with making a decision to free up your headspace and happiness - that seems very sensible.

300 onions! 😳 That doesn’t sound like something to do in the torrential rain, I agree. Will that do you for the year? (I admit, I have no idea how many we get through, but probably a lot!)

Karmacat

With you on all of that, CR (I see I called you by the name of your diary, sorry, I got blurry there for a moment) and total respect for 300 onions!

themadvix

Karma, I assumed you’d gone for the more optimistic Happy Bunny! 😄

the_cross_rabbit

The majority of meals I make starts with a chopped onion themadvix, plus there will be one's that don't grow or will be pinched by mice or birds so 300 might not be enough but we'll see. I've sown a couple of plant pots of basil(future pesto), couple of trays of leeks (future leek and pot soup, which is a great go to meal for DD2), petunias and lobelia (never grown before and can't eat them). This year we've decided to grow flowers in between the rows of veg to encourage and support the declining bee, butterfly, moth and insect populations. I'm not a big flower person especially if you can't eat it but trying to be more eco friendly, so giving it ago.
Finally managed to get a reprint of a photo my dad wants, its only taken me 3 months to sort but DD1 wanted to get some photos printed off her phone so it spurred me into action. Text to dad to let him know that after all his nagging, hint dropping etc it was done ....... radio silence.......... insert swear word.
Security number came through for one of the accounts we have (can never remember them, so had to come up with code sentances to jog my memory) anyway the beeping stuff wouldn't peal off properly and so couldn't see all of the number, thankfully it didn't ask for that specific number so have finally be able to access the account. Decided to up the amount slightly as its to cover some expenses for when DD1 goes to uni this year (prompted by reading greent diary last year). Its not much but hopefully it will cover some essentials.
Trying to get into the habit of maximizing the oven when its on so whist the ys chicken was cooking ,made flapjack, baked some potatoes and braised some leeks to make a soup for tomorrows tea. Chicken stripped and 3 boxes in the freezer for quick chicken curry.
Other than that not done a great deal as this cold I've had all week is making me feel really tired all the time.
Poitive of the day-spending a relaxing hour sowing seeds listening to a dunnock advertising what a catch he is in the oak tree next to the garage.
Well hope your all weathering the dreary weather.
CRx

themadvix

Most of our meals start with an onion too. One of our friends doesn’t like onion... not really sure how that’s possible!?!

Love the dunnock!

the_cross_rabbit

My eldest will sit and pick out onions even if they are really finely chopped. So I now have to whizz them up once cooked so she can't do it, drives me mad especially since DD2 is fine with them and she's the one who has major issues around food. We've decided that when she eats them with no complaints she will befinally be able to claim she's a adult  . Miss the old emojis
CRx

Karmacat

themadvix said:

Karma, I assumed you’d gone for the more optimistic Happy Bunny! 😄

I would have if I'd thought of it

the_cross_rabbit said:

I've sown a couple of plant pots of basil(future pesto), couple of trays of leeks (future leek and pot soup, which is a great go to meal for DD2), petunias and lobelia (never grown before and can't eat them). This year we've decided to grow flowers in between the rows of veg to encourage and support the declining bee, butterfly, moth and insect populations. I'm not a big flower person especially if you can't eat it but trying to be more eco friendly, so giving it ago.

I'm going on this cheap-rate holiday soon, *again* disrupting the planting season, but I'm putting the seeds and the compost on the kitchen table before I go so I'm reminded to catch up!

Poitive of the day-spending a relaxing hour sowing seeds listening to a dunnock advertising what a catch he is in the oak tree next to the garage.
Well hope your all weathering the dreary weather.
CRx

How lovely!  Great description, CR I was dashing through the tiny local nature reserve to catch a bus yesterday, and heard a woodpecker *again* - Never heard one regularly before the last 6 months or so, I love it.